Friendly Freaks Group (UK)

mmmmmmmmmmm......... very interesting read of 2 articles.



so I think I'll put a tune up - which is a very obvious choon - but means a lot to this UKOFFI member... I think maybe you'll get it Endy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LzmdovYoAI


very loud - but ...

[DODGER]
Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity--
There a cup-o'-tea for all.

time to put the kettle on!

solitude - enjoy my solitude - hard to do with an operatic child singing in my ear as he is now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (he sings as badly as I do!)

This "family" here - A2K - when I arrived - landed - here, I was on shutdown of the dangerous variety - then someone special said I was part of the family, which tho I didn't realise it, I needed - so I considered myself so - and I started emerging from a dark place within. Since then - I talk (which is natural for me) - alebit cyberly. Little quieter than some other members of the family here - little seemingly-introverted at times, little seemingly-extroverted with those whom I'm comfortable with, darnright loud and wholly off-the-wall with the crewm where there is a comfort zone and I feel safe- all in all, it's just nice to be here - the places I choose to go. Yep, it's a choice - not an orientation.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head are terribly loud, they're deep within and if I don't get them out, I know they're still dangerous to me - spending time in reflection can be good sometimes, sometimes - it can pull me under so quick that I don't know which way to go - then I get scared. Scared is not good - it's where bad decisions are made.


I have to find peace or peace has to find me - maybe it can't be found - it happens. Right now - the only time I can really do that is if I take my camera for a walk. Then...... I hear nothing. I see everything. I would rather see my thoughts than hear them. Mostly - they are good thoughts. Nature ...... or rather, what I see in nature, colours, textures, patterns, depth, touch, feel....... the images are my thoughts. That may not make sense. No matter. A flower isn't a flower, a leaf isn't a leaf.... not to me. Oh....... I'm rambling. I need to stop that - going off into my world when I should be getting the little fella over to his friends house to play.

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/izzielzzie454/

Just love that.

Its a fine balance i guess

Soon be the weekend, eh?

Wishing you a peaceful evening, Olga

Wow, Izzie - this is very interesting. I am trying to understand why it is that i 'see things' inside things - like symbolism in nature...images that leap out at me and appear so obvious - yet when i've pointed them out to other people - like, 'hey, look at those clouds they're full of pictures- they are trying to tell us something' ...or because i sometimes talk to trees or flowers as in 'hey, you are beautiful, aren't you?' or 'Do you mind if i climb you?' - people have looked at me like i'm nuts (or have arrested development or something). I just can't help it. It seems almost disrespectful to touch the bark of a tree without introduction, if you know what i mean..

I'm interested in the last part of your quote. "A flower isn't a flower, a leaf isn't a leaf.."
If possible, i'd like to hear more - but only if and when...you know...

Have a good Friday Izzie

yeah. (hi Joe)

or even a good Thursday

(blimey, i need to get some sleep)

it's 5.40 and daylight already - i think i just heard that blackbird starting up! Hell

Freak? What's that?

Hey Prince

mmmmmmmmmmmm FREAK = for me, is just a word from nowhere when you have a mind full of glass chippings that seems to others to be all sharp or broken - when in fact - the glass chippings are all different colours of stained glass and glistening in the sunlight making prisms and rainbows with water.

Others perception of me, I believe, is it's broken glass rattling around in my head, therefore my thoughts are "off the wall" and "what on earth is she on about", that there is something wierd about the way I see/say things or I'm over excitable then obviously depressed.

My perception is the shards can still be stunning, tho the slow bleeds hurt, they cut me up and fray the edges, but they're very intense coloured lights which make up a beautiful something - if only those close would take the time to put the the pieces back together and understand it won't be perfect, it never was, I never was - all the pieces are there and pretty colourful - I am a mosaic - not a pink paving slab. Can my real world stop trying to make me shiny and smooth and all one colour, please?!


See....... Freaky - just a word. I'm just me.

********************************************************************************************

so............. hey Prince...... heard you're a delicious plum UKer that our Bethie adores. You gotta be a great guy going on that recommendation a? Hope you're doing a wee bit better - saw you were struggling a bit workwise and all... wishing you better days ahead mate.

Nice to meet ya!


<at this point I hug big, OK with you?>

oh hun - you wouldn't believe how much I've got going on in my head right now that I wish to splurge out - but I have the little fella here and need to be "on own" time to talk... I say it out loud when I write

i'll write......... i've got a comfort zone here - talk here a lot that I wouldn't do elsewhere........ it's making myself push that submit button without feeling......... well, nem'mind

ha - been here coming up 18 months now.... finally finding some courage



Hope Friday will be gentle with you Endy - when you see the blackbirds would you silently tell them I say "hey".

x

(went for a walk
http://able2know.org/topic/111721-706#post-3661002

Think you would like this place Endy - there was a depth to the place other than just looking pretty...... deep, dark.... knowing - strange - a little scary in places with all that "big" surrounding you and no shell for protection.

faces on trees and in caves


whole big story behind every one of 'em - I wonder what the stories are)





<waves to MsOlga and JoeB - big huge massive hugs >

Thanks, Endy. Hope you have a peaceful weekend, too.

Yes, a fine balance, indeed, I've found.

There is a lot to recommend just sitting quietly & stilling one's hyperactive brain! This could be why (very) early in the morning is my favourite time of day.

Hi Prince

I started this thread when i was feeling pretty isolated. I am a recluse (in the outside world) and find it difficult to talk to people sometimes (even here on a2k).
I'd written some poems about that feeling - which i posted up (page one)

http://able2know.org/topic/126387-1

I just didn't want to put them on my usual poetry thread - the death diary.
Of its own accord this thread has grown from there.

In answer to your question, i also wrote What does it mean to feel like a freak? You can read it half way down page one.
I guess it was about feeling like a freak (an outsider) when i wrote them- and even starting to write poetry has, to a certain extent made me feel like that... but i admit i knew the title of the thread would probably see off those i'd rather steer clear of for a while anyway. Basically the far right element (who are too 'tough guy' to ever admit to themselves (let alone to others) that they sometimes feel outcast.

Hope you find time to have a read and that you come back for a chat sometime.
(Even if you never feel any of what i describe).

peace
endy

Ha. You're also a good writer.

That tree is just fantastic, Izzie. I see more than one face. Your photographs make me want to go outside, very much. Right now though, i'm stuck . Stuck inside and also a bit stuck as far as my writing goes. its been like this for quite a while. (I lost my muse).

Hey - i saw your picture of your son and the mid-air malteser... it brought back a few memories, i can tell you.
..i have now added Maltesers to my next shop delivery!
Well, you only live once,eh?

have a good weekend
endy

Me too, Olga. Here, it's 7 in the evening as i write this - so probably about 4 in the morning in Australia, Is that right?
It's been overcast here, but warm.
I saw your thread about having a clear out (books, dvds, cd etc)
I've been doing a bit of that myself. Its been a very quiet, very reflective day.
I'm going to go and try writing something now.
Always good talking to you Olga

have a good weekend
endy

Oh so many faces - my favourites were these - personal - I know - showing what I see..... but I think you'll see them too....




there are more, many more there - stories you know. Did you see the cave - there were actually too many faces in there - I couldn't venture in - eerie cave.

Would love to explain my thoughts here - hope that will be OK - saturday I should have some a few hours. I'm a little bizarre I suppose with my images but it would be good to share them. Good day Friday love. Know, understand inside. Inside in inside. x

This is always one of the best spots to come and have a good quiet read (this and re-reads of Endy's veggie thread of course).

Love all the lovely freaks (including two of the best real-life huggers ever - Joeblow and The Prince).

I'll be bavk

ehBeth - I wish i could give you a big hug. Thank you for your kind words. And inspiration.
I was trying to write a poem about nature yesterday, when it turned into something else, something i thought might be appropriate- but it ended up all wrong. Grief is so personal and raw. I just wish there was something i could do or say...

Peace to you

endy

dj - thanks very much for that. Zappa is just right!
i really don't go to youtube enough.

The thing is that writing demolishes time. The hours speed by.
Annoying - especially when you know you've written 10 or 20 days worth of crap.

i mean real, drag to the bin and start again, crap.

i've been trying to write something from a horse's point of view...
don't ask me why -

cheers