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I think I met Miller yesterday

 
 
chai2
 
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 02:18 pm
My husbands in the hospital. He went in for planned surgery, time to have his defibrillator replaced. While they were at it, the surgeon was going to remove some leads that had been left in there several years ago. That was the tricky part since the body just grows all around it, requiring more work, and more risk.

When he came back from recovery, I could tell by his face he was beyond pain. When the nurse asked him on that one to 10 scale, he immediately said 10. I said "no, he's at 11, it's over the line" They finally got hold of the doctor for demerol, and that took him to like a nine, where it was bad, but not making him insane.

Along comes a new nurse, her shift just started, asking all the routine questions. One was "how much do you weigh?" and he gave the answer. By looking at him you knew that had to be an accurate weight. Right then I left to go get him some juice from the nutrition room, and when I came back in about 1 minute this ******* nurse had him getting out of bed on onto a scale!!

I said "WHY are you getting him up, he told you how much he weighs, and look at the pain he's in!"

Her reply "We need it for the pharmacy"

Then why the hell did she bother to ask?

He got on the scale, doubled over, and his weight registered as exactly 1 pound over what he told her.

I work with nurses. Most of them are great. Sometimes though you get one that is so freaking insensitive. This one wouldn't have cared if his guts fell out on the floor, and long as she got his weight for the pharmacy.

Anyway, he has to stay in the hospital longer now, some complication I'll have to learn about when I get there.

Miller better not be working that shift.
 
mac11
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 02:22 pm
Chai, I'm sorry your husband's having so much pain. I hope he's doing better today.

(Miller's a nurse?)
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 02:36 pm
@mac11,
thanks for your concern mac. I appreciate it.

I don't know if millers a nurse, but it seems she's something in the hc field. I just know I've read remarks of her re hc, diet, exercise that do not seem to take into account that there's a human being attached to all of this.

Not picking on her per se, but for those few that would rather insist you ingest 3.48412 grams, no more, no less of a substance, regardless of the effect it's having on you as an individual.

'nother story....a number of years back....over a Memorial Day weekend, one of the leads on the defibrillator came loose, causing it to go off and shock him multiple times. He wasn't home at the time, wherever he was, 911 was called and he got taken to the hospital, getting shocked all the way there. I was somehow contacted and I rushed there, not even knowing if he was alive.

Before it was discovered it was a loose wire, I was sitting next to him in the ER, both of us scared. All I could do was stare at the wall and hold his hand.

The ER nurse came in, looked at me and said "What are You staring at?"

huh? me? nothing....what?

Then, this nurse proceeded to talk about how "we've had 3 people come here and DIE this weekend. It's always like this over holidays. People get into accidents or have a heart attack, and end up here. I wouldn't be surprised if we had another 2 deaths before the weekend's over."

I mean, what can you say to a person like that, if they are that insensitive to begin with?

grrrr....
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 03:19 pm
@chai2,
I am sorry about your husband, chai, but I sure can appreciate the nurse Miller
comparison. That's exactly how I feel about her - made me laugh!

I hope your husband feels better soon!
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 03:46 pm
oh no.
I hope Mr T comes through this ok. If you need anything, call me. I will be right there.



And yes, there are a lot of nurse millers around.
They blow my mind.
So driven by the book that you would think they were fuckn robots or something. Those kinds always scared me.
0 Replies
 
Robert Gentel
 
  4  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 03:48 pm
Here is something boomerang once said about Miller:

Quote:
She held my cyberhand through a really terrible night -- almost exactly six years ago -- and I have always appreciated her for it.


Just for contrast with the meanspirited pot shots being directed her way here, ironically criticizing her "sensitivity". Miller has often often tried to be helpful in health-related topics and the recipients of her help appreciated it.
mismi
 
  2  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 03:57 pm
@Robert Gentel,
I hope he feels better soon as well Chai. So sorry he is in so much pain.
chai2
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 03:57 pm
@Robert Gentel,
what?

you gonna follow me around robert, and point how to me where/when I'm wrong?

have fun with that dear, if it gives you something to do, by all means continue.

since you can't figure out ****, I'll spell it out for you. This thread is about people in the HC profession who are totally insensitive to the effect their thoughtless words have on people who are afraid, in pain etc.

millers done that often enough here, by making pronouncements of failure because someone did not eat exactly the right amount of a particular nutriant, or prognosticate that obama, for instance, will get cancer because he smokes the odd cigarette, and because his elderly grandmother died of cancer.

If she helped boom, that's great....I've had total asswipes help me in area's of life, and for that I'm grateful.

Doesn't make them any less of an asswipe.

like you've never taken a potshot at someone.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 03:58 pm
@Robert Gentel,
I'll add that I've often (though I think not always) agreed with Miller on health matters, and she does try to be helpful, if sometimes curt in approach.
I've my guesses on Miller's health care role, but that's not my business.

Past that, insensitivity, from whatever source and for whatever reason including plain ignorance, is like a bath of rotting spinach when you are in stressful pain. Well, rotting spinach if it is 'meant', and flung frozen peas if it is sheer ignorance.

Hang in there, Mr. Tea, and sympathy to you too, Chai.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 04:04 pm
@mismi,
Thanks mismi.

something like this always happens when he's got to go into the hospital...not the nurse per se, but the pain, or complications.

It's just wearing on both of us. Him mostly of course, but it's hard watching it.

What I'd really like to do is have the ability to take some of the pain for myself. Empty his full bucket a little bit. I generally don't say much here about really really personal stuff...I figure "hey, everyone's got their problems."

It's harder to keep quiet though when it's about the person you love the most. You know how with you kids you would just jump like a tiger on someone hurting them? That's just what I'm going through right now.

It'll get better I know.

Thanks for the sympathy.
0 Replies
 
Robert Gentel
 
  2  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 04:05 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
you gonna follow me around robert, and point how to me where/when I'm wrong?


I've got better things to do than follow you around, but if I run across something you say that I want to comment on I will.

Quote:
since you can't figure out ****, I'll spell it out for you. This thread is about people in the HC profession who are totally insensitive to the effect their thoughtless words have on people who are afraid, in pain etc.


Have you ever considered that your judgmental pot shots are insensitive? Are they not "thoughtless words"? Did you bother to put yourself in their shoes?

Quote:
Doesn't make them any less of an asswipe.


Do you think implying that Miller is an "asswipe" is an example of "sensitivity" or "thoughtless words"?

Quote:
like you've never taken a potshot at someone.


I admit this is something I could do better with, and I feel bad enough about criticizing you here. But I think this kind of thread is mean and unfair, and it's hard for me to say nothing about that. If the thread is about the health care industry that point could have been made without the cheap shot.

In any case, I hope you and your husband feel better, and I'll bugger off.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 04:16 pm
@Robert Gentel,
Nevertheless, if the title told me what to expect, and it did, it must be at least somewhat accurate.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 04:34 pm
@Robert Gentel,
Quote:
Did you bother to put yourself in their shoes?


ok, put yourself in these shoes robert.

for the last 7 or 9 years I've had to call 911 more times than I can remember, sat up countless nights in hospital waiting rooms and outside of ICU wards, pretty much convinced I'd be a widow in a few hours. Gotten calls from the police when he's had a drug interaction while driving and endangered himself and others around him. Watched someone go from a robust muscled lean man to a ******* walking skeleton. watch him deal with chronic pain 24/7/365 a year. Gone through just shy of a million bucks worth of medical coverage. Have to regularly monitor his activities so he doesn't fall. Given up on any sexual activity. Watch as others look at him like a drug addict because sometimes getting totally wasted on oxycontin is the only way he can cope. Dealth with his major depression over the loss of almost everything that made him feel like a man. Watched steady hands with a strong grip grow shaky and clumsy with swollen joints and drug side effects. Basically watch the man who built the roof over our head, raised a child to responsible adulthood by working 16 hour days for years on end become an old man.

I never sleep through the night because at least twice I have to wake up and help him roll over into some position where he can at least rest, if not sleep. I get up at 5am to make sure all his meds are in order, and that food is prepared for him, because if he has to fix something, he'll just go without.

So robert, if you want to make comments because you need to make a point about how mean and awful I am, go right ahead. I eat others negative judgements of me for snacks, because they're sweeter than the reality I live in.

You know what? In spite of, or because of all this, I'm a happy person. Talk about carpe diem.

so walk around in my shoes for awhile robert, just don't walk through any dog **** before you give them back to me. I've got enough to take care of already.

Well gee, it looks like it's time for me to stop by the house before I go back to the hospital. I gotta pick up his meds, and stop somewhere to get something he may want to eat. Maybe he'll be able to come home tomorrow. Maybe he'll have to have a 2nd surgery, and we'll get to go through all this again.

weee.....

You know what? I can't wait to see him. Because he loves me, and I love him.

I'll say it again, miller better not be working tonight, cause I just got in a bad mood.
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 04:34 pm
I've seen both sides of Miller and I honestly cannot figure her out. She can be very helpful with medical and drug information, but often comes across as having the bedside manner of Vlad the Impaler. I've often thought she must be one of those medically trained people who work for insurance agencies and decides if a patient does or does not get approved for possible life saving, but expensive procedures. I don't see her as evil, just hardened. I do give her extra credit for loving her toy poodle.

Sorry to hear about your hubby, Chai. I too have been in the situation of watching a loved one suffer while feeling powerless. It's frustrating and agonizing to feel you have little control to make the situation better. Hoping tomorrow will be better for you both...
0 Replies
 
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 04:34 pm
@roger,
When I go in the hospital if someone wants me to do something I don't feel like doing I tell them to piss off. If I want pain drugs...I raise hell until they give me what I want. I'm the customer.
0 Replies
 
Robert Gentel
 
  2  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 04:45 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
ok, put yourself in these shoes robert.


I can't begin to imagine what that must be like chai, and I was very sincere when hoping things get better for you both.

Quote:
So robert, if you want to make comments because you need to make a point about how mean and awful I am, go right ahead.


I don't think you are mean and awful chai, sorry if I gave that impression.

Quote:
I'll say it again, miller better not be working tonight, cause I just got in a bad mood.


I think Miller's a pharmacist (or somesuch), not a nurse, so I think you're safe.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 04:47 pm
Miller is kind of a troll sometimes, just look at her anti-Obama threads. She does have rare breakthroughs of compassion, but a lot of her adamant healthcare recommendations are to be taken with a grain of salt.
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 04:57 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

You know what? In spite of, or because of all this, I'm a happy person.


Chai - just wanted to say that your reality is a heartbreaking reality - yet, as you say, you are a happy person. You need that, hubby needs that. Keep on keeping on being strong girl - even though it is the hardest thing to do at times.

Wishing hubby healing thoughts, and well thoughts for both of you. I hope hubby comes home soon and tomorrow will be a little easier for you both.
0 Replies
 
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 05:41 pm
@chai2,
Tell Mr T that I want a spin 'round the block in that old behemoth when he gets back on his feet.

understanding from Kansas...

(miller plays both sides, and is a big girl)
0 Replies
 
alex240101
 
  3  
Reply Tue 18 Nov, 2008 05:50 pm
@chai2,
Sorry about your husband chai2.
If someone doesn't wear their heart on their sleeve, that doesn't make them insensitive, or a bad person.
I beleieve Miller has helped many people out with here medical knowledge.
I have nothing but good things to say about Miller.
0 Replies
 
 

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