fishin, and you are looking at this from your personal perspective, that you are a normal guy, really do want to help, and all those other wonderful things.
Which is absolutely great, no sarcasm intended.
What I am saying, is that, for lack of a better term, "broken" women are many times incapable of determining who is, again, for simplicities sakes I'm going to label "creepy" (just so I don't have to redefine every time" and someone who is a stand up guy.
Ok, I look at it this way....
If a person, any person is having a problem, one of the best ways to help someone is to attempt to put themselves into their shoes...empathy...which BTW, I have been accused of not having
Putting myself in the shoes of a broken woman, this is, partly, what I see....
I'm someone who has come to the belief that men know best. It doesn't matter what type of man you are....you know best. In fact, that belief is so engrained in me, I can't even distinguish, or can't distinguish very well, the difference between a creep and a stand up guy.
Because I can't tell the difference, and don't even know I can't tell the difference, I'm not the best judge if it would come to having someone male mentor me (at this time).
No, I'm not saying this will turn the healing woman into a man hating, bitter person. I'm saying that until this woman's head clears, and she's got her thoughts more straight, she doesn't know if she's looking at a fox, or a run of the mill normal beagle.
The stand up guy shouldn't be offended that he is probably not the best choice to help out immedialtely....his time will come, down the line.
When the woman has her head someone back together, she will be capable of looking and discerning who is a stand up guy, and who is not.
When I see a child, I understand they might not be capable of telling a bad person from a good one. I'm polite, give a little smile, but do not engage or encourage the child to bond with me, a stranger. They don't know me, they don't know I'm a good person. I'm glad they hold back, until they learn over time. I'm not offended.
People like to give credit to others for having intelligence, good decision making ability, and to know what is best for them and that they will persue it in a thoughtful way.
A broken woman may be intelligent, or not...I won't address that. BUT, I don't think it's immediately wise to give them credit for having the ability to make good decisions and know what is best for them. Going by their track history, they don't posses these skills.
As they heal, they will learn these things. They will come to a point where they can decide for themself what is best for them, something they may have never done.
Don't worry stand up guys, you will have your chance to help her understand many people are good.
I feel it is setting a woman up for a much harder time, or failure, if she's not given "away time" from a group she cannot make good decesions about.
On the whole, I think an abused woman does not general know what is best for her. She will one day though.