"Retaking our lives....spurning the demon tar"

Throw those butts out! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooow !!!

Not that easy. The dump is 9 miles away.

:wink:

Okay...so put them in the trash, stir into the garbage, whatever...I just did that myself...it is OVER...

Maybe you know a song to go with this...I'm clueless

We'll have to make them up as we go...or maybe someone creative will stop by and do it for us. I'm not feeling creative.

I am so proud of you guys! Remember ~ go take a nap if you can! That ought to help with the worst of the withdrawal.

I'll be thinking of you both.

Way to go guys! Hang in there. Here's a song for you...I Will Survive with a few changes I made:

"First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
so go on back
to outer space
I won't walk in to find you here
to tempt me with your smelly disgrace
I'm gonna change my stupid lock
I'm gonna make you leave your key
There's no way, stupid demon tar
you're coming back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with desire
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my nic-fitted heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so don't start dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me"

Wow. Liberty, that was great!!! Thank you. I plan to keep that one running through my head for a while

Come on, Sumac..........I WILL SURVIVE

Thanks, Rae...I did sleep in this morning. I'm doing focusing things, like sorting laundry, playing word cames on the computer. Today, I will be strong...Tomorrow?????? well.......that is tomorrow.

One day at a time. :wink:

I tired enough to nap. Running hot and cold.

Well, pentunia, how are you today? Bright eyed and bushy tailed?

Hey, Sumac....sorry I have'nt spoken before now. I had to work today, so it makes for later entries.

Yes, surprisingly, I have had a good day, made it through work, through lunch time and break times, hardest was getting in the car after work and making my coffee stop and the desire lingers...How will I get through this?

Okay, let the dog in, prepare dinner, I may have to take a walk or something, get out of the house, do another load of laundry.

How about you Sumac, how has your day been?

How is everyone doing?

Not good at all, I'm afraid to have to state. I had computer problems and couldn't get to any web site. Just finally resolved last night. But my frustration was so intense that my resolve quite left me and I went out and bought some cigarettes. How will I ever get through those intense emotions and mood without cigarettes?

Don't beat yourself up, sumac! It's okay. Try again maybe?

Yes, I will try again. I have to. I really want to be free of them. (sigh)

No one is perfect. And the only way to come close is to learn from the past ~ I hasten to say 'mistakes'. You just took a small step backward ~ nothing stopping you from going forward again.

Sumac, sorry about the computer...mine, too, has been down...

Anyway, I do great during the day, at night I've been smoking two to three cigarettes, and sometimes that is the only way I get through the day, knowing I'll have one in the evening...I haven't smoked in the car, just outside on the porch...Stupid justification? Probably, but it seems to be what I can do now. I've hesitated coming to talk about this, felt like a failure, but if I can't be honest here, then where? I still need and want to hear from all of you, and appreciate feedback.

It could be those two or three cigarettes are a mistake, I'm not sure...I can see myself getting off of them completely as time goes buy....self-delusion?

Thanks

Please don't think of it as a failure, ma'am. You've done great by only smoking those two or three! I think that's wonderful!

Do what you have to do. This is your journey ~ you make the rules.

Thank you, Rae...After all these years I find I want to please people, not disappoint...I'm not disappointed, that should be enough right?

I have a perfection bug in my ear that says if I'm not "perfect," then I'm a failure, but you know what, I am doing perfectly well...It is still hard to get through those hours...I want a cigarette all day long, everytime I get in my pick-up or go drink coffee, sit outside and read, and I do not have one...not until the evening.

GOOD FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!