"Retaking our lives....spurning the demon tar"

Well, ma'am, I crashed and burned a few days ago, but promise to offer all the support I can muster. Maybe you can turn my five weeks into a lifetime of not smoking!

Best of luck to you!

Rae, i read in one of the other topics that you had broken down and was so sorry to hear that...but I do know that at times it can feel like the only choice...been there....

Please come in once in a while, though. I like to hear your gentle voice.

"Thanks for your support" you are the one who has encouraged me to go on and to be "public" about this....

Attagirl! I know you'll be just fine! I'll remember to come 'round every once in a while to check on ya!

<thanks for the kind words>

Hi petunia -- welcome to A2K and good luck on your quest to quit smoking!

I was peeking in on Rae's attempt and felt inspired to quit myself, so I'll definately peek in here and look for inspiration from you, too. I'd love to offer whatever support I can...it's rough.

Rae, sorry the try didn't work. Supposedly (of course I wouldn't know first-hand) it takes several honest attempts before you can finally quit...so maybe this is one more attempt that will lead to you finally being able to give it up for good. It's soooooo hard -- I admire you for trying.

Petunia:

I applaud you for scheduling your surgery down the road so that you can quit smoking. That is a very wise decision on your part.

I work for orthopaedic surgeons and one of our doctors will not operate on patients who continue to smoke. He advises them to quit, then come back and see him to revisit their health issues.

The healing power in smokers is extremely diminished, so it is definitely a plus to give it up way ahead of time.

I have no doubt that this time you will be successful. Just take a day at a time, try not to think of tomorrow, deep breathing helps, meditation, and above all, don't think about what you're giving up, think of all the benefits you will have that you didn't have while smoking.

I am a reformed smoker, and I am so glad I gave it up. When I did quit, it was a matter of serious health problems, that did it. Actually, it just helped me make the decision because people had been telling me my skin color was very poor/gray, I had a cough, got bronchitis quite frequently, plus had angioplasty on my leg. The vascular surgeon told me the blockage was 99% due to smoking.

As I've said to Rae many times, you were not born with a cigarette in your mouth, you do not need it to live, and it is a disgusting habit.

Good luck, stick to your guns, see all the positives and be proud of yourself:)

All the best of luck with both quitting & also the surgery, Petunia!

I'm here, I'm here...and will be a constant presence come September 1st. Rae, do not despair. Think of the addiction as a demon with regression and relapse as central components, much like other addictions. Join us, again. And again, and again, and again, if that is what it takes.

As I said before, I have no illusions about the difficulty and pitfalls ahead. Just continuing to work on my motivation right now.

Thank you all, for your kind words of encouragement!

Misti, I used to work for an orthopedic group, and two of them also would not do surgery on smokers...healing takes so long. Thanks for the ideas of looking at the positive instead of the negative, because that is where I tend to flounder around, instead of swimming in the positive light...

I have been offered many ideas and i will probably need to invest in a whole line of sugarless gum, suckers and hard candies. I had a friend who used to chew on plastic coffee stirrers until he developed an allergic reaction!

I'm trying NOT to count down the days...I know it is important to stay in the moment and take it just one minute at a time...hope I can remember that when the moment comes. Meditation....yes, and journaling even, could be a great help

THANK YOU all. :wink:

Just a thought.....but it might help if you are able. Sleeping off the withdrawal (first three days) can be helpful. If ya have the time, why not?

GO PETUNIA!!!!!

I am going to post a poem, just recently sent to me by a good friend. It is posted not to romanticize the cancer sticks, but to look the demons squarely in the face. Then we should all say, well yeah, that was then, and this is now. I will find a different way to do things, equally as rewarding. Look the demon in the face, and reject it. That will arm us.

The Best Cigarette


There are many that I miss
having sent my last one out a car window
sparking along the road one night, years ago.

The heralded one, of course:
after sex, the two glowing tips
now the lights of a single ship;
at the end of a long dinner
with more wine to come
and a smoke ring coasting into the chandelier;
or on a white beach,
holding one with fingers still wet from a swim.

How bittersweet these punctuations
of flame and gesture;
but the best were on those mornings
when I would have a little something going
in the typewriter,
the sun bright in the windows,
maybe some Berlioz on in the background.
I would go into the kitchen for coffee
and on the way back to the page,
curled in its roller,
I would light one up and feel
its dry rush mix with the dark taste of coffee.

Then I would be my own locomotive,
trailing behind me as I returned to work
little puffs of smoke,
indicators of progress,
signs of industry and thought,
the signal that told the nineteenth century
it was moving forward.
That was the best cigarette,
when I would steam into the study
full of vaporous hope
and stand there,
the big headlamp of my face
pointed down at all the words in parallel lines.


--Billy Collins

Hmm, now I want to smoke, and I've never so much as taken a puff!

It's a demon in the head, sozobe, all an illusion. Pay no attention to it.

Sumac, thank you for the poem...I always enjoy reading your offerings...they seem to be everywhere and are always uplifting, thought-provoking, appropriate and fun...

Thanks to all....You are right, it is a demon in the head...need to kill that demon, but I fear it will be a slow and painful death!

We are up to the task. Never fear that.

I am a reformed smoker but never far from falling off the sweet-smelling tree. (One of the big plusses about giving up the weed was that I smelled better, majorly.) I smoked for thirty years, had my first one when I was twelve. I gave up a few times -- the penultimate time for a year -- went right back after a cig at a party. My husband quit after thirty years but never said a nagging or critical word to me as I struggled to give it up.

When I did quit, over twenty years ago, I was a basket case. I couldn't talk on the phone, I couldn't write a letter, I couldn't even vacuum the floor. I began having two drinks before dinner, rather than one. Then three drinks. I began to gain weight. I found out later that all of these are normal reactions to giving up the most addictive drug on the planet.

I got on a more even keel after a few months. My husband who had been tempted to move to cigars had been warned that they would lead him back to cigarettes very quickly. So he vowed to wait five years, then have a cigar. I decided that I would make the same vow. On the day of the fifth year after quitting, I lit up a dainty little "lady's" cigar. It was Yuk. Harsh, kept going out. Well, I kept trying and quickly realized that the big fat cigars that men smoked were the good ones. But this was the late 70s and early 80s, and women did not smoke cigars at all in America. My five years had come up when we lived in London, and my first forays into cigars were there. The Brits are tolerant of eccentricity, God love 'em, and could not care less if a woman lights up a stogie after dinner. They'll just offer her a Port to go with it.

I returned to the US in the late 70s and my husband took a job at a prestigious US university. We went to a swish dinner for all of the trustees and other high mucky-mucks, and everyone lit up after dinner as we circulated with after-dinner drinks. I lit up a cigar and puffed away happily until the wife of the Prez. of the University looked at me with a thousand-yard stare and said, OH, my dear....

That was all she said. I disappeared into the Ladies and deep-sixed the stogie. It's all horses for courses, right?

I was driven underground and have smoked cigars mostly at home but occasionally at friends' houses who are sympathetic. I may smoke four or five a year, now, and it is a great pleasure.

So I wish you the best of luck, Petunia, and all of you others, my friend Sumac among them. I will say only one thing. If you try and fail, it is just that one small failure. You can get right back on track and start over again. And again. You will win out ultimately because you know you will be healthier and better off in lots of ways. But it is hard. And you have to be at the point where you really want to quit or it is not even worth trying.

Now I want to smoke cigars, too.

I'm not helping, am I?

GO GO GO, you can do it!

petunia, I like your signature.

I have a funny story about cigars.....

The last time I tried to quit, I managed two and a half months. Can't remember what 'issue' made me think I could smoke a cigar and squelsh the craving, but I bought a pack of five (menthol flavoured) anyway.

Keep in mind that I had no idea of the do's and don'ts of cigar smoking. Took me almost an hour to smoke one, because it kept going out, but smoke it I did.....and I inhaled.

Apparently, this is not recommended for cigars.

I was deathly sick for about fourteen hours.

Very funny, Rae. One should NOT inhale cigars, and I found this out the same way you did.