37
   

What is a humane way to kill a cat?

 
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Dec, 2009 01:29 pm
I wonder of the statute of limitations has expired on this conspiratorial plotting to murder gustavratzenhofer's cat? They should throw the book at the whole lot of ya! For SHAME! For SHAME to the Lot of Ya!

I'm going to have to write a letter to Detective Robert Goren of the Major Case Squad and submit my research regarding this atrocious kitty cat cold case.
0 Replies
 
Below viewing threshold (view)
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Jan, 2010 10:09 am
@jesusBastard,
My grandfather had a way of disposing of unwanted/unruly animals. He'd get out his .22 pistol, a spade, and "go looking for nightcrawlers" with the creature. Oddly, none of the animals ever returned, and he never went fishing.
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  3  
Reply Wed 6 Jan, 2010 10:23 am
@jesusBastard,
jesusBastard wrote:
Castration, after a year, didnt phase his aggressiveness.


Wondering if your cat's aggression toward you has anything to do with the fact that you pinned him to a TV dinner tray and, learning on-the-fly from a 3- minute video on an 8x4-inch screen, sawed his balls off with a box cutter?
Seed
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Jan, 2010 12:03 pm
@Gargamel,
I think it was just the tv tray. A cat would expect nothing but the finest dining room table with a lacy tablecloth for his procedure.

also I hear Gus is giving his cat away. I found the picture in the For Sell Ads in the paper
http://www.thedrunkenkitty.com/freecat.jpg
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  3  
Reply Wed 6 Jan, 2010 12:25 pm
@jesusBastard,
Your moniker is incorrect. You should have called yourself 'sickBastard" or "sadisticBastard". My local shelter charges $25 to neuter a cat, hardly a fortune, and if a person shows need they put down an unadoptable animal for free. Do the universe a favor and stay away from animals.
jesusBastard
 
  -4  
Reply Wed 6 Jan, 2010 04:42 pm
@Green Witch,
Actually Jesus's "son of god" moniker is incorrect. God cannot create life without a woman, any more than a virgin can become pregnant. But I am not here to discuss jesus' bastard status... I'm here to discuss humane ways to kill a cat. In reading these posts, I see using pitchforks, microwaves, toasters in the bathtub, and of course the crocodile post. I do not see these meathods as humane. I want to do it myself, but I dont have a gun, and I certainly wouldnt go out and buy one just to kill a cat. I really do think that a syringe filled with air injected into a vein would work, just like how Julia Stiles was killed in the omen. The problem will be finding a good vein. Will let you all know how it turns out. Also, while you may be able to find a resource who will castrate a cat for $25, I dont think its worth it when I can do it myself.
jesusBastard
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 6 Jan, 2010 04:46 pm
@Gargamel,
I didnt use a box cutter. I used a hairband. Took about 6 weeks for his balls to fall off. He was only sore for the first couple days. Thats how we do it on the farm. City people arent that creative. They wanna go to the damn doctor for everything. Its not necessary.
Ticomaya
 
  2  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 12:00 am
@jesusBastard,
jesusBastard wrote:
God cannot create life without a woman, ...

Someone didn't read the beginning of the Book.
tsarstepan
 
  5  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 12:02 am
@Ticomaya,
http://i50.tinypic.com/11m6o1i.jpg
0 Replies
 
jesusBastard
 
  -2  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 12:13 am
@Ticomaya,
I read the whole fuckin THING, tico, and it was a complete waste of time. I read a lotta books filled with things that didnt happen. Princes turning into frogs, the Adventures of Frog and Toad, the Cat in the hat, Good-******* LORD, do you hafta believe EVERYTHING you read? The bible is a joke. I am covering different subject matter here. True subject matter. If I write it, its probably true. You really CAN castrate a cat with a hairband. On the other hand, snake mouths were never made for speaking in words to humans, and no woman was ever made out of the rib of a man. No human was ever created without a woman. EVER. I'm not here to get converted. I'm only here as a "curiosity." I got plenty of religious topics if you wanna try. Yea. I read the fuckin bible. I was able to look at it objectively. Try it!
ossobuco
 
  6  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 12:19 am
@jesusBastard,
This is a humor thread that you are roiling your vitriol in, jbastard, to one of our most courteous posters.

Please shut up.
Ticomaya
 
  2  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 12:23 am
@jesusBastard,
jesusBastard wrote:
... I'm not here to get converted. ...

And I'm not here to try.
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 09:58 am
@jesusBastard,
jesusBastard wrote:

I didnt use a box cutter. I used a hairband. Took about 6 weeks for his balls to fall off. He was only sore for the first couple days. Thats how we do it on the farm. City people arent that creative. They wanna go to the damn doctor for everything. Its not necessary.


I hear ya. We cityfolk are a little too careful, a bit "high-maintenance," if you will. Immunizing our children, for example, sending them to school and whatnot.

Don't even get me started on "brushing our teeth" and "wiping our asses" and "seeking sexual partners outside the family."

Whatever happened to good, clean, simple living? Am I right, my man?
dadpad
 
  4  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 10:03 am
Why go to the expense of a hairband?
God gave you teeth didnt he?
Thats the way we do it for lambs here in rural Australia.
Seed
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 02:44 pm
@dadpad,
I couldn't stand the hair in my teeth personally.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 02:47 pm
@Seed,
that brings to mind an old pussy joke, but since this is a dead cat thread, i'll refrain... Embarrassed
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 03:42 pm
@jesusBastard,
And to think - we paid the $300 and just got my doggie fixed. Damn next time I'll torture the poor bast**d for days and use a hair band.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 03:43 pm
@jesusBastard,
You mean frogs don't turn into princes! Sh*t I married a frog when he told me he was a prince and now I'm stuck with him.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2010 03:50 pm
@Linkat,
Linkat wrote:

You mean frogs don't turn into princes! Sh*t I married a frog when he told me he was a prince and now I'm stuck with him.

Linkat! You scarred and scared our favorite troll du jour away! I was hoping he was going to be the next generation Leonabanks of a2k! Crying or Very sad
 

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