What is a humane way to kill a cat?

Circular saw!

MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOWWWWWWW.

Microwave?

Wooofffff........ no wait, thats small dogs. sorry

What? The cat's not dead yet? What seems to be the hold up?

It could be this one Edgar.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/7/7e/ISTitleCard.png

Rub your cat with some fresh warm beef blood.

Tie a large stone to its belly so that it can not run

Drop it into a yard with a dog and watch them play together!

The MOST relevant question is how we shall slowly torment Gus to death if he does anything nasty to his cat.

Deb, always spot on. Watch out, Gus...

The cat is fine and is curled up at my feet as we speak.

So little faith.

If your cat ever were to suffer from a disease the vets are yet to find a word for; you may want to try confusing it.

Monty python gives you some easy to follow guidelines right here:

Confuse-A-Cat

trash compactor...

freezer. If you can get it in a pulled out lengthwise frozen condition you'll have a handy toilet brush.

Is Schroedinger still alive? He could give an excellent display of how to keep your cat alive and dead at the same time. Good way to avoid that awful guilt one gets upon simply killing a cat.

Glad to hear kitty is seemingly better...

Last night Lou jumped in this big box that came with a delivery. Like all cats he loves boxes. I immediately shut the box on him because he was being a pain and scratching up the house. This box was heavy enough that he couldn't easily push the top up with his paws. For five minutes he kept us pretty entertained as you could hear his claws tearing through the cardboard in a desperate attempt to excape the evil box that entrapped him.

Then he realized he could just stand up. He emerged, gave the box an evil cat look, then, as all cats do, pretended nothing had happened.

Speaking of cat's habits -

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NEmQHkdBHr0

Someone saved Gus' cat

Wall it up in the cellar with recently murdered wife.

Well, that seems most practical.

A rather belated "thank you", Coolwhip. Dlowan referred to his years ago on Abuzz. It's been a long running joke ever since, but I never had a chance to see it till now.

I loved this story you are so funney...a wonderful story teller ,,you should wright more...

Hi Gustavratzenhofer,
Re: the best way to kill a cat. I have killed a lot of cats. When I lived in Cooktown Astralia, we had 'Croc's in the creek. They are very easy to catch, just go for a swim. If you want to survive then use a live cat. Just tie a string around the cats back leg, then swing the cat in the creek. as it drowns a Croc should come along and eat the cat, but this can be slow.
The best way I think, and I have tried many times. As I don't like them or any other animal to suffer is to ask my self what would I choose if I had to be killed.
Handing, beheading, being shot, gas, or electric shock. Yes I think electric shock. Last tine I trapped a cat that was guilty of eating one of my chickens. OK, I had the cat in a cage, and it was willed I could not put my hand in the cage. This was not someones 'pet'. I wet the cat and cage had to be wet. Then put a electric wire on the cage. As the cat just sat looking at me, then just turned the power on. The cat just went very stiff for a second or two. Then just went limp. All over. I Still didn't like doing this but it was quick .
OK ............Dardardit,