Hi...it's been awhile now and I'm beginning to enjoy the freedom of singlehood. I've learnt very much about myself recently and despite all that has happened, I must be honest and admit this to all of you.
I still love this man and he has shown me what is love like. I realize that my previous relationships were more of my partner wanting something from me rather that really loving me. I'm no longer with him but I can tell he's going thru more pain than I am and he's finding it really difficult to recover. I can't help him but I will help myself.
My life isn't changing as fast as I would like it to but I've learnt to be patient.
Thank you all for your advice and I will constantly recall these messages which helps me realign myself when I feel that I'm not doing the right things.
How are you doing Montana. You have been a real pillar to me earlier with all the encouragement you given me. I hope the best for you...if you could please do try out the book I last recommended. I think it makes alot of sense.
Both substantial change and meaningful self awareness takes months and years to accomplish, so keep that in mind and give yourself time.
But you are moving...that's the important thing. Give yourself a pat on the back.
Hawkeye is right, but you sound like you're well on your way :-D
I'm glad I was able to help you, Destiny, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. I'm crazy busy these days and I hope to get a breather sometime soon, but all is well and I keep on truckin.
Thank you for you well wishes and I'm very happy to see that you're starting to become comfortable with yourself. This makes me smile from ear to ear and I'm so glad you're finding your way.
When I can find some time, I would love to read that book and when I do, I'll let you know. It may be a while. <sigh>
Always remember to be good to yourself! :-D
hi there.
been going thru tough days recently. i really need to get out of my job for many reasons...for my own good.
the tough part to handle now is more of my friendship with this man. i've been feeling so betrayed recently. i am in need of a friend to support me to move on with finding myself. but what he has done is turn to another new lady colleague and been getting close and hangging out with her. claims that he's got no friends and he's bored and lonely.
he denies anything with her but at the same time he's ignoring me, treating me as if i'm unworthy of friendship with him and i have an issue handling that. i feel that as a friend, i am betrayed...i have no friends to talk to but to him and he's just not there even as a friend. the friends around us do not know of our relationship but know us as very close friends and they constantly ask me what is up with him and how is he. how am i to know when he hasn't been talking to me?
at this stage i dun care what is he going thru but what i need is a friend to listen to me about my work and tell me if i'm being rationale.
was a very tough nite yesterday...he's outstation and i thot it'll be okay to call...instead he avoids me. which made me go crazy....
anyway, this morning i got replies from my other friends and i was given some level of support. feeling better now...but i was very hurt by this man as a friend. i guess the friendship with him is also very valuable to me but it's diminishing now....maybe i want this to happen.
Hey Destiny, how are you? I haven't been around these days as I've been crazy busy, but I just spotted your last post and I hope your doing ok.
I know how difficult this all is for you and you right that you can't be friends with him anymore.
The worst thing is that you have to see him all the time and I hope you're still looking for other employment. Getting away from him completely would certainly take away a lot of what you're going through and would help you to move on.
It doesn't surprise me that he's warming up to someone else. He may even be doing it just to make you jealous, but either way, it's a situation you would be much better off away from.
Hi Montana,
I've been checking on any possible postings...glad to know you're still here.
Well, I've been tied up the last 2 weeks as I've tendered my resignation reason being that I wanted to take a break. Will be going to Greece to visit an old friend of mine. Will go on tour on my own.
This experience had brought up alot of unresolved areas in my life and the point that I had been living a single life but putting everything on hold.
I realise very clearly now that I've lost 6 years of my most prime time and I'm struggling now to try to do something about it.
My eldest sis and bro-in-law says that I'm spoilt before this...reason being that I am unappreciative of the opportunities given to me previously and now in terms of work and my life. Maybe they're right but I dun think I know what I wan actually.
I wan time away to rethink what I wan in my life. I need to speak to a friend physically to hold and hug me. You guys have been great to bring me where I am now but I feel the lack of the physical touch portion.
I'm doing okay now but still feel the pain once in awhile. I do feel alone and lonely despite friends being around. One point my boss mentioned which is that I should be hanging around ppl who matters not the ppl who are there when they are there but then they return home to their own lives...ppl who are passerby's like.
But who isn't and where do I meet ppl who are available? Do I wan to find that when I feel the way I am or is this just a phase.
Over the weeks, I've found another 2 friends who had went thru something like I have too. One of them just broke up with a married man after 1 year of relationship. The other broke up a year back now with a girlfriend who is asking about getting married and he's not sure.
On one hand I feel the closeness with this friend but I am not comfortable to tell him about my experience. Kinda like betraying him...since he talked about his personal piece but I didn't. I hope he understands if one day I do tell him.
I still need healing and I wan to move on. But I feel that I still love this man and I am hurt by knowing that he is going on with his life and I feel he feels the same. But I know I shouldn't bother. I'm glad I'm leaving but at the same time I am going into a total unknown situation.
I'm currently looking for a job out of my country now as I want a change in my life. If possible I wan to go into a total new community. Not sure if I can make it but I truly believe that is what I need to do now.
How am I to get the strength to do this? I worry yet I know I have to brace myself to this.
I am afraid...
I'm stepping into a new direction in my life at this time as well and I'm afraid too.
We can be afraid together
Hang in there and good luck with everything. I think a change is really great sometimes.
Fighting depression
Hi Montana,
Hope you're doing much better than I. Just returned from home from trips but instead of feeling better, immediately I start feeling depressed with not feeling confident in myself anymore.
I'm trying hard not to let it kill me but I am starting to have such thots again...
I feel alone, lonely, no skill, no achievements...the world seem to have just come crashing down on me. I dunno what I need to do and how to move on.
I hope you're doing well despite all this. I also wish there was a way I can give away years of my life to ppl who are more worthy to be in existence.
@DestinyBeliever,
Well DestinyBeliever I believe there is such thing as destiny and soulmates. Yes sometimes guys are dicks and treat us bad but there's a bigger plan for all of us including you. I believe that some day we'll all get our perfect some one that loves us for who we are and NEVER choose anyone over us. I've been where you are but he wrote me an email breaking it off and hasn't come home since. The important thing is we have to believe, right now there's someone out there thinking about how amazing it'd be to meet YOU. Kepp your chin up you'll find him I know it:)
<3 Believer
@DestinyBeliever,
I dont know how much you learnt from the replies but i got some good things in my mind and am sure that they gonna help me in building my life Better !
hell yeah!
but u know these things require efforts...
u know what i mean
