Today’'s breaking news stories…

Unusual Easter Morning. Instead of hunting for easter eggs, Wandel is still hunting for Tryagain.

Very unlikely you'll catch our vanishing Tryagain wandeljw, he is more elusive than Houdini.

WHO

exeunting

x-ray vision let Wandel see that Tryagain has an alter ego with a triple ooo

Yesterday after weeks of controversy, it has at last been established that; William Shakespeare did not in Romeo and Juliet write, "Get thee to bed, and rest; for thou hast need". (Exeunt Lady Oloong and Tryagain.) Pity!

However, this clarification did not quell the shimmering discontent as several A2K factions repaired to the redoubt over the strained overseas relationship wrecked asunder by tsarstepan in his overt vilification of Dadpad*.

The special relationship between the two nations has not been placed under such strain since:
The Simpsons: Bart vs. Australia (Season 6, Episode 16).

Any forthcoming apology however will not assuage the slight endured by this writer on a trip to Oz when I went into a outback bar and found it full of men; enquiring of the barkeep if there was anywhere locally where I might makeout with some female drinking buddies; the barman in an incredulous tone shouted, " What are you mate? Some kind of bloody pooftah" !!!


* We have not been asked by Lawyers acting on behalf of the Apple Corp to point out; that Dadpad is not the registered name of an older version of the iPad - We are pleased to make the distinction clear.

Unfortunately what was far from clear was the missive clenched in the cold wet hands of T R Yagain as he awoke from his temporary accommodation; namely a gutter at Sunset and Vine. It took several of the forces finest officers to prize the document from his fingers clenched in fists of rage and it read thus...

Great thread Jes; however, your words may alienate you from some prospective contributors; if you're talking to a brain surgeon and he starts speaking his lingo, you won't understand a thing unless you've done a great deal of research into brain surgery.

Similarly, during your initial post you may want to stay away from industry acronyms, techno babble and lingo that potential contributors may not understand, such as: What the hell is a 'Droid'?

Is it a case of a missing link? This might be another case for JW Wandel...

Zero energy left for Wandel to take on new cases at this time (flu bug).

A cry for help from wandel. Anyone out there with superior nursing skills, should apply at once! In the meantime, take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning! Feel better, wandel!

As for Tryagain, no Florence effing Nightingale is going to help him anymore.

Better already. Rest and tylenol are helping. Little Annie is my favorite nurse. Thanks for the concern, CJane.

Children make sweet nurses (sometimes). Glad you're better.

Demonstrably remonstrating:

Nurse:[Within] Madam!

Oolongteasup: I come, anon."But if thou meanest not well,
I do beseech thee"

Nurse: Madam!

Oolongteasup: By and by, I come"
To cease thy strife, and leave me to my grief.
To-morrow will I send.

Tryagain: So thrive my soul"

Oolongteasup: A thousand times good night! [Exeunt, above]

Analysis - Tryagain's hamletfisted plagiarism and incontrovertible gaeity in this scene smirch Oolongteasup's sexuality and the audience is relieved that wandel is over nursing his headache.

Act Up Scene Thru

Ease up oolongteasup, exeunt I would if I were you, tryagain may well beseech you and leave you in grief.

For once (no, not once; this is a common occurrence), I am confused. Is Oolong a male person or a female person (not that it matters, I'm just nosy)?

Good grief Jespah, only a fair dinkum Aussie sheila talks like Oolong.

How silly of me. My apologies to the fair Oolong and her many admirers on both sides of the orb.

Is Oolong an Iconoclast may be an irreverent question; however...



Excuse me! In matters that matter, believe me this matter matters; because there can be many a slip 'twixt cup and lip!

It would or so it would seem, our Lady C-Jane...Alone she treats and binds the pain; and sings a melancholy strain...

The Lady rose, and while he prest
His gentle head to her breast,
With cheerful wonder in his eyes
The lady joyfully espies,
And gave such welcome to the same,
As might beseem so bright a dame !

But when he heard the lady's tale,
And when she spoke of Florence's fame,
Why waxed he oh so pale,
Murmuring o'er the name again,
Is it time to exeunt or Tryagain?

Tender apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge and the wonderful poem- Christabel.


Dictated from the desk of TR Yagain - Transcribed and disseminated by computerization

Just as one thought it is clear as water, some doubt the alter ego.
Who's there?
Tryagain?
It is he - oolongteasup!
Both come most careful upon the hour.
If you do meet Tryagain and oolongteasup,
The rivals of my watch, bid them make haste.
Friends to the ground.
Holla Tryagain!
Say,
What, is oolongteasup here?
I have seen nothing!

disclaimer: edited to my own liking.

Kubla Khan calms calling Coleridge's calamity

laudy laudy laudy easy upon laudanum
keep your pants on about pantisocracy

for he on honey dew hath fed
and drunk the milk of paradise

while she's too funny to have said
that sunkist ilks a pair a guys

in other news
opinion is sharply divided
when the world turns out

Lady oolong, my apologies for doubting your gender. Your grace and poise ooze from every post.

Maybe oolong provides a feminine perspective on territory usually covered by tryagain.

Nothing says it better than Lyle Lovett: "She ain't no Lady!"