Today’'s breaking news stories…

Next Wimbleon is on it's way........ whites (British don't you know) - Love, Deuce, Game, Set, Match - only in virginal white of course

"Set" & Beth start knitting business for prospective players, new members..... including additions to the family - matching booties - CJ delighted!

ONO BAND

Reformed Plastic Gives Piece A Chance

Entertainment Today

Protest from the eternal virginal CJ, tryagain you've got it wrong, Set and Beth put away your needles.

Quite a ruckus ensued from recent reports that Try is gay!

If I may interject at this point; these reports are verging on the ridiculicious; according to A2K medical records the only self confessed virgin to grace these hallowed halls is Kicky " although he is not blind to the possibilities afforded by the close proximity of his new neighbor; although her six kids may preclude her claiming to be intactus.

Jespahs Slimdog video sells out " no pain, no gain…Place advance orders at the upcoming A2K Health Symposium. Guest speaker " Slippy ; on the effects of Traction:

‘A force, F, acting on a particle with mass, m, may lead to a linear acceleration, a, of that particle in the direction that the force acts’.
Young Farmers Quarterly

Izzie is expected to clarify: ‘The case of rigid body, the resultant torque, ?, about the axis z, due to the force f, acting at position r, and leads to an angular acceleration’.

Set; a closet knitter? - Who knew!

In home news: Raconteur, or is that Racketeer T.R.Yagain is to return to his Manhattan ranch to continue hypothesizing!

Ceramics Monthly

Racketeering Influenced Corrupt Organizations (RICO) cited as jespah's (er, my) favorite law 'cause it was mentioned in Copa Cabana.

Seizing this thread from Tryagain under RICO laws is a good idea, Jespah.

Tryagain arrested for illegal thread. Pat down to commence soon!

Unfortunately it's not totally clear why we call Vultures "Buzzards", Vultures certainly do circle when they've located food; they don't all circle in the same direction though so it's the change of direction that signals them.

Meaning it's not like clockwise means come and get it. When one finds foods he changes directions and his buddies circling outside that zone change as well. Then it kinda dominoes out until they all trace back to the original direction changer and chow down " Buzz Wandel seen in local burger bar studying the menu!

Thank you for taking a bit of your valuable time to learn more about the best limit and dimensional threads manufactured in the U.S. We appreciate your interest in our ambiguous verbally linguistic communication.

The agency in charge of A2K screening today changed its policy on ‘patdowns’, in part because of complaints by women members about searches of their chests.

Starting today, the federal A2K Security Administration is telling its screeners to keep their hands to the "chest perimeters" of women unless members detectors beep when waved over their breasts.

A2K spokesperson Miss Pat Down said, “Male members should relax and women use a portmanteau; to avoid chest problems”.

Very quick change to a "V"

Unduly high stress tensors take their force upon TRYagain as the Rotation of his Rigid Body About the A2kaxis caused maximum velocity when Slippy said “take a deep breath... and cough please”!

After a sharp intake of breath, Jes recorded for Special Agent Wandel that ‘een tho it was hotter than hell, rigamortis had not quite set in and TRYagain’s core temperature was rising as patting down fervently commenced.

BEAgle kept an eagle eye on the situation, notifying CJ that despite the acceleration of the thread which had previously been threadbare, satisfactory cooling of the A2Kinetic energy building up by excessive use of knitting needles was no cause for concern.

British Correspondent invoiced hamsters for PAT testing of the intensive sensitive thermometer citing the Health & Safety Regulations at Work Act 1974, the Management of Health & Safety at Work Regulations 1999, the Electricity at Work Regulations 1989, the Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) Regulations 1992 and the Provision and Use of Work Equipment Regulations 1998 as a necessary requirement when dabbling with the Devil.

Conclusion " the “back draft” was just hot air being expelled from TRYagain.

Kicky lost his momentum and keeled over when the scantily clothed neighbour appeared. A sudden rush of blood to his extremities caused rigidity and left him feeling a little flushed!

Soft toilet tissue sales increase.

Wandel reports chest sales up

X-tra precautions taken to make sure A2K pat-downs are more "friendly". But not so friendly that special agents will get in trouble.

"YIELDABLENECESSITY!" exclaimed Head of Security, Miss Pat Down, who was perturbed to read in the latest edition that Special Agent ‘s were concerned about Sexual Harrassment Suits and may not be able to do the required “Stop and Search” on A2K female members.



As security is of the utmost importance in the A2K “Sieze the Thread” - Special Agent Wandel was urgently sent on a course entitled “Ways To Overcome Bashfulness " Think of It As A Milk Machine”

Excited, tho nervous about this upcoming mission " and feeling a little shy on how to get over the beeping breast problem - he learned at the academy:

A cow is a completely automated milk-manufacturing machine.

It's encased in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical moveable supports, one on each corner.

The front end contains: the cutting and grinding mechanism, as well as, light sensors, air inlet and exhaust, bumper and a fog horn.

The rear end contains: the dispensing apparatus and automatic fly swatter.

The central section houses a hydro-chemical conversion plant. This consists of four fermentation and storage tanks, an integrated network, which is connected to the rear-dispensing unit.

In brief the extremely visible features are:

2 lookers, 2 hookers, 4 stander-uppers, 4 hanger-downers and a swissy-wissy.

Special Agent Wandel felt relieved and had no problem “patting down” CJ " until her milk came in, at which stage, he hurriedly left, redfaced and needing a cup of tea (black), and put in for a transfer to Corporate HQ in Belarus - Brest (Belarusian: ?'рэст, IPA: [brɛst]; Russian: ?'рест; see also alternative names), formerly also Brest-on-the-Bug!





Snow White was NOT happy when she found Bashful had been overcome with a dairy allergy.

TRYagain went and changed his suit " now he has soot on his face and is taking up cleaning chimneys. Chim chiminee!

Cow & Gate stocks have risen!


Beep Beep!

Zenith Insurance Company has provided sexual harrassment lawsuit insurance for A2K special agents.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh........ Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm = ZEN

ZEN..I..THink is just the sort of insurance A2K Agents require:

In broad terms, the zenith is the direction pointing directly above a particular location (perpendicular, orthogonal). Since the concept of being above is itself somewhat vague, scientists define the zenith in more rigorous terms. Specifically, in astronomy, geophysics and related sciences (e.g., meteorology), the zenith at a given point is the local vertical direction pointing away from the direction of the force of gravity at that location.

Zenith is also used for the highest point reached by a celestial body during its apparent orbit around a given point of observation. [1] Often used in this sense about the Sun, it only corresponds to the first concept of zenith for one latitude at a time, and never at all for latitudes outside the tropics.

ZEN...... ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm



<sings>
Catch a falling star an’ put it in your pocket,
Never let it fade away!
Catch a falling star an’ put it in your pocket,
Save it for a rainy day!

For love may come an' tap you on the shoulder,
Some star-less night!
Just in case you feel you wanna’ hold her,
You’ll have a pocketful of starlight!

Catch a falling star an’ ( Catch a falling . . . ) put it in your pocket,
Never let it fade away! ( Never let it fade away! )
Catch a falling star an’ ( Catch a falling . . . ) put it in your pocket,
Save it for a rainy day! ( Save it for a rainy day! )

For love may come and tap you on the shoulder,
Some star-less night!
An’ just in case you feel you wanta’ hold her,
You’ll have a pocketful of starlight!

( . . . pocketful of starlight! ) [ hum in time ]

Catch a falling star an’ ( Catch a falling . . . ) put it in your pocket,
Never let it fade away! ( Never let it fade away! )
Catch a falling star an’ ( Catch a falling . . . ) put it in your pocket,
Save it for a rainy day! ( Save it for a rainy . . . Save it for a rainy, rainy rainy day! )

For when your troubles startn’ multiplyin’,
An' they just might!
It’s easy to forget them without tryin’,
With just a pocketful of starlight!

Catch a falling star an’ ( Catch a falling . . . ) put it in your pocket,
Never let it fade away! ( Never let it fade away! )
Catch a falling star an’ put it in your pocket,
Save it for a rainy day!

( Save it for rainy day! ) Save it for a rainy day!

<sings> Perry Como'ver 'ere!

Brother of the head hamster turned 50 recently; reports no changes; AARP not yet wise

Congratulations from downunder, 50 is a milestone in anybody's life.

Dancing Hamsters wish Chief Hamster's Bro a Verra Verra Happy Birthday!!!!!



Nifty Fifty - cause for celebratory Bailey's from the British Correspondent! Bottoms Up!

Evidence of fiftiness (is that a word? Well, it is now) not seen on head hamster's brother's face -- what, me worry? Him worry?

Fifty is the new Forty! Age defying baby boomers have taken necessary precaution in discovering the fountain of youth. Incidentally, new body parts
are on sale at the ever so popular Home Depot.

Getting a new liver is as easy as getting a new hacksaw. Just wrap it up.