Today’'s breaking news stories…

Go ahead, we've got yer back.

HA! GITs that are Blue
So cheeky, very true
Agents are Special too
Wandel, that means you!

Headlines for Breaking News
From the A2K crews
Let’s have some fun
That Blue boys not done.

Lets get Blue back
Theres newspapers to stack
C’mon then our Agent
This message to you is sent......



(on the hoof.... 'tis late.... hey ho!)

Insecurity has taken hold of wandel. Coup to overthrow Tryagain will be postponed until wandel has returned from the Ashram. Namaste!

Jokes aside, a crumb from a winner's table is better than a feast from a loser's table.

Kitchen cabinet restores confidence in cookery. Get thee to the Food Network!

Looking for Tryagain will be Special Agent's mission, inspired by Izzie's emotional plea. Tips concerning Tryagain's whereabouts will help in this mission.

Mission critical: is Tryagain under the bed?

Nah Nah Nah.... tho he could be a Missionary.......... <thinks> ...........he's always on top!

Officials from Coast Guard investigating captain's private room on Yabber Liner.

Pardonez moi! ..............OH MY.... it's not Saturday is it....? <dagnabbit...slaps own wrist and tells oneself to act all respectablethingymajig>

Quick! Is it Saturday somewhere?

Reportedly, it is always Saturday on the Yabber Liner.

Saturday... Saturday...Saturday

”Cause Saturday night's the night I like
Saturday night's alright alright alright...ooooooh oooooooh ooooooh lalalalalala ”

as she followed the Yellow Brick Road and handed over the karaoke mic.......



...and Why You Should Kiss, Too

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?

Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer".)

I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.

Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from " at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even the Florida town of Kissimmee (founded, no doubt, by early Italian pioneer kissers).

The Art of Kissing Is Easy

Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.

Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial groupies.

Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?

Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.

Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.

Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not use your mouth.

Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. (Read the headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")

Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.

Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?

You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick and your pet aardvark. Don't try kissing them all at the same time, though...especially not your boyfriend and your wife.

Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces. But a quick call for a AAA tow truck fixes that problem (CAA in Canada, AA in the UK, the local plumber in France)

Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended
The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman at the Superbowl.

We do NOT recommend "extreme kissing". For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any electrical outlets!

Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss a chainsaw; we feel this one is self-explanatory. And don't kiss your office manager while on duty...unless you happen to be a work-from-home hermit like me.

But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports. Next time you hear a brawl at your local barbershop, just go in and give everyone a kiss. I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with.










Smooch!

Try returns to a tumultuous indifference only exceeded by the fact that his exceedingly well crafted copy started with an ‘S’ which necessitated a somewhat hastily written introduction, so he invited Miss Izzie to the photo lab to see what developes…

Saturday arrives at last as Wandels prediction foretold " T.R.Yagain dissented and took the view that the days of the week or the luminaries if you will are arranged in the same Ptolemaic/Stoic order around the points of the heptagram. However, Welsh members continue to call it; Dydd Sadwrn.

However, for the purists, Saturday: the only day of the week to retain its Roman origin in English, named after the Roman god Saturn associated with the Titan Cronus, father of Zeus and many Olympians. In Latin it was Dies Saturni, "Day of Saturn"; compare: French Samedi. The Spanish and Portuguese Sábado, the Romanian Sâmbătă, and the Italian Sabato come from Sabbata Dies (Day of the Sabbath).

Allegations proliferate that Try rigged the vote that derailed Wandels puny efforts to unseat the usurper as reader numbers ascend through the 30,000 barrier - Pay to view decision postponed.

Underdeveloped photo shoot - must TryAgain!

Verging on the very edge of sanity; try standing naked in the mirror disgusted with yourself, it will give you the mental vicissitude to make changes. I know I do this every day, and it most likely helps me not even think about A2K " However:

Jonathan Weiner, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Beak of the Finch, comes His Brother's Keeper -- the story of a young entrepreneur who gambles on the risky science of gene therapy; Try to save his brother's life.

Try denied ever having a brother, but before he gained 200 pounds he vaguely remembers seeing a weiner!

Weiner dogs are in popular demand once again. It would suit you well to
get one, for your own health that is.

x..................... (hasty edit!)

What a Twonk!

Try was looking very worried and all strung out, rushed to see his doctor.

"Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"

The doctor looked him over for a couple of minutes, then calmly said, "Well, I can tell you one thing... there isn't anything wrong with your eyesight."

There's a positive a?

Y'know, I may have heard that before, but that's okay.

Zesty retelling of an old Rodney Dangerfield joke by Izzie.