H2O Dawg wrote:Good for you, momof2. No woman should ever have a brutal hand laid on her. Good luck to you and your kids. None of this was your fault!!
actually
no person should ever have a brutal hand laid on them. In my many years in social work I saw much violence, most BUT NOT ALL was male against female but certainly not all. The issue, in my mind, is VIOLENCE, and it should never be tolerated.
Momof2,
As with many things in life that are not good .... the more you taste it, the less bitter it becomes. The longer you would have stayed, surely the harder it would have become to leave.
I am glad that you decided to leave and get away from those surroundings. It's impossible to truly move forward when you still have strings attached to you.
What you need to do is take this road that you are on now and put enough distance between you and him that when you get far enough away, you can turn around and look at it. See it for what it truly is. Accept it. Own it. Because it is truth. YOUR truth. Not his. At that moment, you will know what to do. And the courgage will be there to do it.
(((((( momof2 )))))))
PS- When I say "put enough distance between you and him," I'm not really talking "miles." I'm talking emotionally. You have to be able to mentally think this problem through. You can't do that if he is in your face all the time. Your seperation from him is a good thing, no matter the distance.
I wish upon you the calm essence of what life should be like.....without the umbrella of fear. Take care.
still hoping for the best for you.
Momof2--
How's life going?
I didn't have time to read the 9 pages of this thread so I appologize if things have already been resolved at this point and I am beating a dead horse. I just wanted to say that the exact same thing happened to me, minus having kids. The only difference is that by the time I had actually left my husband he had already hit me several times before. Leaving was the best decision I could have made and I have a lot of these people right here on this forum to thank for it. It may have taken me a lot longer than they or I wished but I finally got out. The fact is...is that even if you somehow do work things out in the end, you will never forget what he did to you. That will always be there and it is somewhere inside of him still. It has obviously always been there, it just took you to press his right buttons to release it from him.
Agree with everyone else... Even if you disregard your own safety, think for your kids! You don't want your children to witness domestic violence. It will stay in their little brains, forever! You have an unethical, unstable, and cruel husband and it is not healthy for you to stay in that marriage. Nobody in their right mind want to divorce themselves from someone they love. But that other significant other has to love you first in order for you to love him too. What's called "...until death we part.." doesn't exist in abusive relationships. My husband is violent at times too but I dare him lay his hands on me. The minute he does our relationship is over and he's out of my house. I'll be kind as to call his parents to bail him out but that's the last thing I do for him.
{{If you're of a different culture, please don't let that culture bind you to an abusive relationship like that. Be one of those who will make a difference to those types of beliefs. Save yourself and save other women of the same culture!}}
