WTF Kiwis are not australian

dadpad wrote:

There was this rivalry thing going on even then. 161 battery worked non stop for 4 hours in the rain shelling as close as 10 m to aussie positions. When this ( working so damned hard for so long in the rain) was made mention of a few Aussie infantry dryly said... so?... they're used to that.

Guy I knew, his dad was in Vietnam. I asked him if he killed anyone and he said '4 Aussies'. Turns out they mucked up some shelling co-ordinates. Wonder if it was that unit..

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Posted by vikorr on another thread -

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23440505-5013016,00.html
http://www.stuff.co.nz/nelsonmail/4453981a6007.html

Quote:
'Wombat rape turned me Aussie'
March 27, 2008 03:00pm

A NEW Zealander has been sentenced to community work for telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.
----------------------------

Leaves one speechless! Rolling Eyes

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There was some suggestion that it was Gus - using a nom-de-Kiwi!

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Naahh.... If it was Gus, the wombat would've bought him dinner first.

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lezzles wrote:

Naahh.... If it was Gus, the wombat would've bought him dinner first.

Good grief woman!!! No wombat would **** Gus! They're discerning beasts.

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I was in Motueka the week after Feb 11 - quaint place but I could see people going stir crazy there.

That's fookin ridiculous but Laughing

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old europe wrote:

Dartboy wrote:
jespah wrote:
Australia's still the name of the continent, innit?

OMG I HEAR THAT SO MUCH, if I knew where you lived id kill you, damn New Zealand isnt part of aussie, we are two different countries, its like saying japan is part of china, get it?

But even if New Zealand isn't part of Australia (the country) or Australia (the continent), Australia is still the name of both the country and of the continent. Right?

Australasia or Oceania is the name of the continent, not Australia. (Including Papua New Guinea, Pasfic Island, Australia and NZ). Australia is only the name of Australia.

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That depends on what continent model and nomenclature you subscribe to. It is called Oceania, Australasia and Australia.

Much of the English-speaking world teaches a 7-continent model and calls Australia a continent.

I've always found these continent arguments so very silly. It all started when a Japanese girl and I had a disagreement over how many continents there are. She claimed 6 (Japan teaches the 6-continent Eurasia model) and I considered it an incontrovertible truth that there were 7.

I then learned that there are a number of continent models and that there's no such thing as definitive authority on the matter. The interpretation of what the continents are is subjective.

Some people consider the Americas (North and South) one continent. Some consider Asia and Europe one continent. Others still consider Asia, Africa and Europe to be one continent.

Here is a animated map from Wikipedia illustrating the major continent models taught around the world:

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Robert Gentel wrote:

That depends on what continent model and nomenclature you subscribe to. It is called Oceania, Australasia and Australia.

Much of the English-speaking world teaches a 7-continent model and calls Australia a continent.

I've always found these continent arguments so very silly. It all started when a Japanese girl and I had a disagreement over how many continents there are. She claimed 6 (Japan teaches the 6-continent Eurasia model) and I considered it an incontrovertible truth that there were 7.

I then learned that there are a number of continent models and that there's no such thing as definitive authority on the matter. The interpretation of what the continents are is subjective.

Some people consider the Americas (North and South) one continent. Some consider Asia and Europe one continent. Others still consider Asia, Africa and Europe to be one continent.

Here is a animated map from Wikipedia illustrating the major continent models taught around the world:

No amount of pretty pix ever gonna make New Zillunders happy with this category, ya know.

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dlowan wrote:

No amount of pretty pix ever gonna make New Zillunders happy with this category, ya know.

No amount of pretty pix will make NZedders happy!

Carn the 'Tahs!!!

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NEW ZEALAND ASS WHIPPED THE AUSSIE SHAWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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You are showing way to much interest in our asses. Didn't see you crowing after the two tri nations games before that one.

Oh well I guess we'll get even in the next football world cup, oh that's right, you never qualify..... Well there's league. Oops. Hockey? Cricket? Basketball? Oh well, we can go per capita medal tallies at the olympics.

You do make nice sauvignon blanc though.

More seriously did you see the Gruen Transfer stuff?

It's about advertising with industry insiders and they have a segment where actual advertising agencies come up with campaigns to 'sell the unsellable'. A few weeks back a few kiwi hackles were raised when the campaigns were selling the idea of Australia invading New Zealand (pissfunny). As a semi payback last weeks job was the NZ govt funding a campaign to get tourists to choose NZ over Australia, also pissfunny.

I'll post the links in a sec...

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I posted the ads in a thread dedicated to the trans tasman relationship

http://www.able2know.org/forums/viewtopic.php?p=3343659#3343659

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Dartboy wrote:

NEW ZEALAND ASS WHIPPED THE AUSSIE SHAWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Cool.

What at?

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hingehead wrote:

You are showing way to much interest in our asses. Didn't see you crowing after the two tri nations games before that one.

Oh well I guess we'll get even in the next football world cup, oh that's right, you never qualify..... Well there's league. Oops. Hockey? Cricket? Basketball? Oh well, we can go per capita medal tallies at the olympics.

You do make nice sauvignon blanc though.

More seriously did you see the Gruen Transfer stuff?

It's about advertising with industry insiders and they have a segment where actual advertising agencies come up with campaigns to 'sell the unsellable'. A few weeks back a few kiwi hackles were raised when the campaigns were selling the idea of Australia invading New Zealand (pissfunny). As a semi payback last weeks job was the NZ govt funding a campaign to get tourists to choose NZ over Australia, also pissfunny.

I'll post the links in a sec...

Take this mate, New Zealand has 4 million people, just, sydney I believe has that alone, I may be wrong, also Aussie in a whole has 21 million?. So we have a choice out of 4 million and you have a choice out of 21 million? MMMMMM thats a bigger chance of getting more "skilled" players in sports.

Also I believe that I read in the newspaper once that the funding for sports such as Hockey, Basketball and all the rest is 20 times that of New Zealand, that would be caused by again the bigger population.

And! "Hockey? Cricket? Basketball?" Cricket?" I'm sorry I don't follow cricket as much as rugby but I do believe New Zealand is one of the best in the world if not the best, debatable who is better.

"Didn't see you crowing after the two tri nations games before that one" Sure you beat us 34-19, thats not a ass whipping, 39-10 is a major ass women, oh incase you forgot thats the score we got against you giving us a 1 point bonus putting us at the top of the table Very Happy

"You are showing way to much interest in our asses" Yea I am cuz its all I saw during the game while we were whipping and spanking it.

So I'm going to leave this little moan or fun conversation with you with a joke Very Happy

(I think we both like a little rivalry Very Happy

cheers from your mate across the ditch)

A KIWI BLOKE WAS ON EARTH DOING THE HAKA.....

Meanwhile somewhere in space Aliens were watching this unusual dance.
KAMATE KAMATE KA-ORA KA-ORA......

The Aliens were very interested in what must be going through his mind right at this moment and they wanted to see what would happen if they would take a part of his brain away without him even knowing!! So with the Aliens high-technology they sent a laser beam down that hit the Kiwi blokes head and took a part of his brain away. The Aliens then sat back to see what would happen....
KA-MATE KA-MATE, KA-ORA KA-ORA.......

???WHAT THE???
The Aliens were amazed with what they were seeing so they decided to send the beam down and take another part of his brain????.The Aliens watched on.
KA-MATE KA-MATE KA-ORA KA-ORA......

???WHAT THE???
The Aliens then figured these kiwis must be very clever people even with half a brain. So they wanted to see what would happen if they took the remainder of his brain away and left him with no knowledge what so ever! So with a push of a button the Aliens sent the beam down which took the final part of the Kiwis brain. Now surely he won't know anything at all, he should be too dumb to do anything now?

So the Aliens watched on as the bloke with no brains left then started singing,
WALTZING MATILDA, WALTZING MATILDA..........

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Dartboy wrote:

NEW ZEALAND ASS WHIPPED THE AUSSIE SHAWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The all blacks played super rugby. Good get NZ. and the 4 points as well.

I could not believe the turnaround.

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Hi DB. Yep it's all jokes. But the population = sporting success formula is a crock or India would be a sporting superpower. It's only sport.

I got a joke for you too:

An expat Aussie, working in London was wandering the streets and stopped at an antique shop and decided to go in. On looking around he noticed a very strange looking bronze of a cat which had a tag on it saying, "Bronze Cat £30.00, Story £150.00". The man was very curious and asked the salesman to explain.

"Well" said the man, "its just like it says, £30 for the cat and £150 for its story". "I'll just take the cat", said the man. "Very well, but you will be back" said the salesman.

The man left the shop with the cat in his pocket. As he walked down the street he heard a strange mewing sound. On turning round he noticed there were a couple of cats following him. The further he walked the more cats seemed to appear to follow him. As he got to the Thames he turned to see about 1,000 cats behind him. "screw this" he said to himself and threw the bronze cat into the river. All the cats jumped into the river too and were drowned.

The man returned to the shop where he bought the cat. "I knew you would be back, £150.00 for the story" said the salesman. "stuff the story" said the man. "Have you got a bronze kiwi?"

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India is in proverty though with not much funding for sports, the national sport, Cricket, which everyone plays they are good at but if you take chine for example, I beleive they will take out the total amount of medals won at the olympics.

There were 3 aussies and one New zealander in a bar. The aussies decide that it would be funny to piss the new zealander off."Ok, ok."Said the first one, "I know how to do it." He goes up to the NZer and says "Your Johana Lomu's a gay prick." The guy just shruggs and says "Ok." The next aussie goes up to him and says "your Johana Lomu's a transexual." again the kiwi doesnt seam to mind. the last guy goes up to him and says "Your Johna Lomu's an australian." The kiwi smiles. "i know, thats what your other friends have been trying to tell me."

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Whats long and hard and F**ks Kiwis?

Primary school

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hingehead wrote:

Oh well I guess we'll get even in the next football world cup, oh that's right, you never qualify

We qualified for the olympics, lets settle it then Very Happy

A guy pulls up to a hotdog stand and says "I'll have 60 hotdogs thanks". The attendant asks "why so many?"
The man say "1 for me and 59 for the aussies in the back".
Again the attendant says "how did u fit 59 aussies in the back"
The man replys "its easy once you squeeze the bullshit out of them!"

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WTF Kiwis are not australian

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