Surgery--Again

Boida, thank you for the link to your word game. It's hard and fun and addictive. I like how it rotates through different kinds of games - keeps it more interesting.

I hope the nurse visit went well and that you're getting lots of rest.

The nurse has not shown up. I found a message on my machine about the visit. Gotta make a call back.

Getting plenty of rest. The computer is my primary contact with the outside world. Not gonna turn it off, but I nap a lot.

Mac, I'm glad you hunted down the game and are enjoying it. Yes, I like the challenge of the different kinds of word games. I'm best at the one in which the letters change. Still not doing as well as usual.

I just woke up. It's too soon to know how I feel today. Yesterday got worse as the day wore on. I'm having problems with my throat--expected. Sticking a pipe down there while it was still swollen from the radiation was expected. Lots of coughing, which hurts.

My therapist visited me every day I was in the hospital. A good person. She and I had been discussing my seeking comfort at a time like this. Before I went into the hospital, I kept expecting to see the late lamented Mikey in my apartment. Comfort. Maybe this is why I'm so thrilled with Lucy. Not a live cat, but a comfort. Maybe this is why I keep thinking about my Grandpa. More comfort. Howie, also a figure from my childhood, is a comfort. I have a friend upstate I've known since first grade. Another comfort. Brownies from the Sheridan Bakery--another comfort.

I've been thinking a lot about this surgery. Not as painful as previous surgeries. Not as horrible as the two bouts of radiation I've experienced. The hardest part is that this is my brain. My identity. One of my favorite organs. And the organ that has defined me. Smart as a whip, that goil. I've been thinking a lot about that. Trying to hang onto who I am.

I'm rambling.

Speaking of comfort, this site and the people on it are my primary comfort. For days on end, you provide my only human contact. I've tried to tell you all how much it means to me, but I don't think I've succeeded suffiently. You guys is da best. I'm grateful to each and every one of you.

I've gotten mushy. Don't like it. Gonna shut up now.

tried to play your game but couldn't for some reason (said i could buy it, but not play it with my browser (not internet explorer))

do enjoy playing scrabble on my PSP though

as for being mushy, it's good for you now and again

Yes...the brain is where you LIVE...and it makes you you.

Hope today is a better day.


Hope the brownies arrive.

special brownies?

he's not the only one who noticed...

Ha... mushy is contagious!

It's hard not be, at times. Me, I should have been a pea. Never did like mushy peas tho.

Boida... comforts - take 'em for what they are. They wrap around you and make you feel safer when everything feels very unsafe and often lonely. I understand the "people" thing here... they're my comfort zone, albeit folk around the world, each individual is a comfort in a unique way. No one person is quite the same as another. Same goes for you, you are who you are to each person here and on your threads.

(thanks whomever for technology and bows at their being oh so clever inventing the computer)!

Those comforts, you know, talking about the past and memories and all... I believe that comes into play largely when the whole mortality / dignity / fear etc becomes a bigger issue. Going under anaesthetic is one of the scariest things ever. Not knowing. Coping with life threatening. Comfort in whatever form, is a must to get through it.

Take those comforts, keep them wrapped around you. They help with the physical pain, they help with the emotional stuff. Whether it's a person, place or thing, if it eases the mind, it has to be a good thing.

Do give your brain the chance to heal - it's had a bit of battering of late, been pummelled and jiggled - it prolly needs time to rest up a little and settle back into place - the anaesthetic (you were under for 4+ hours Goil!!!!), meds and all that... that's all playing it's part too. You are a survivor - now your body needs time to heal.

Patience being a patient - dontya just loathe that!

I need to say I don't know your brain, not really - I haven't been here long enough - (ha, gosh, nearly 2 years tho of incessant rambling). I do believe I've got to know a different part of you tho, you're defined in a different way to me, if that makes sense (which, me speaking, maybe doesn't - and I haven't even taken my lalallala potion yet). See... that whole thing about engaging one's brain before one talks. I need to learn that bit

You do an incredible job of engaging - even after brain surgery. Your kvetching skills have not declined in any way, shape or form. You are the BEST kvetcher in the world.

Howie sounds particularly wonderful, especially re the chocolate malted. I hope you talk of many fond memories and find out things you never knew. New information for your brain.

Hugs Goil xx

<pass the Brownies>

love ya

brenda lee says hey

A brother of a friend got the same kind of operation as you did, Roberta - with exactly the same time in the operation hall, but one day later. (And he's just 39.)

He'll leave hospital ... next week.

I admire what you did and how you're doing.

Friend's brother then will go for three weeks (plus most probably two additional weeks) in a sanatorium/sanitarium.
(All on mandatory health insurance)

We admire what you'd done and how you are handling the situation.

bethie, Please tell Brenda Lee I say hey back.

Walter, I'm glad your friend's brother is ok. Sounds like he's getting a lot of care and attention. Don't think I need all that. I could be wrong.

Don't know where Howie is. Don't know where the visiting nurse is. I should make some phone calls, but I'm feeling snarly today. Just woke up. I'm usually snarly first thing in the morning. I think this is a bit more than that. I 'm tired of being in pain. Tired of having to recover from one thing after the other. Tired of having to take care of things.

What you need Roberta, is a good piece of rich chocolate. The kind that melts
in your mouth and makes you say "mmmmhhhh" without even wanting to.
You need soul food!

Snarl away - have another Pepsi - they're good for lubricating snarls.

Yeah.

**** it.

It sucks.

Have a damn big snarl.

What's with the goddam noise? Who does she think she is? May she have haemorrhoids!!!

A noise is supposed to turn up, she should turn up.

A cholera on her!

Just don't get "drunk" on the sugar.

I need to make a call to get the nurse to come. Too stuporous today to push the right buttons on the phone. Did a lot of sleeping/napping.

I'll send Howie an e-mail. Where are you?

I need to return some other calls.

Today was not a good one.

c.i., Thanks for you very kind words. I had no idea.

bethie, Why did my hat choice make you cough? What am I missing?

I need to get myself in gear.

One good bit of news. I can now get up off the couch without rocking back and forth and grunting and struggling.

I think I'm gonna take a bath tomorrow. I'm doity.

Sorry if this was a lackluster kvetch. Gimme a break. I'm in a weakened condition.

dj: For the game, go to Gamehouse. Click on Online. Then on Word. That should get you to the game. Sorry if it doesn't work. What do I know? Not much 'bout dem computers.

Roberta, if you're not feeling up to making the call for the visiting nurse tomorrow, please ask a friend to do it for you. I'll feel better knowing someone is checking in on you now and then.

I know what you mean. It just gets old, doesn't it?

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Boida))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'll make the nurse call tomorrow.

Took a bath. It felt good. Glad to be clean again.