I met a girl.

going to a Police concert is too big a move too soon?

huh?

what awkward moment?

well, chalk it up to her being freakish....?

Hmmm, if a woman is really into you she will follow you to Afganistan. Just as well it ended before you got in too deep.

(So you got an extra ticket, huh?)

what kind of person thinks going to a concert is a big move? Did she hear Sting were going to conduct a mass wedding ceremony there or something?

jeez, even I'd love to go to a Police concert, and would just think it was cool and fun.

really kicky, I feel bad about this for you, you're such a nice guy. I just don't get it.

A concert was too big? Did she think you were getting ready to propose on the Jumbotron?

Freak.

Okay, here's the story.

I blame that second beer I had. We met last tuesday at a bar on an internet date. We clicked pretty much instantly. I was attracted to her physically, but mostly I just felt so relieved to meet someone that I really felt comfortable with. And I am positive that the feeling was mutual. So after about two hours, and just after that goddammed second beer, the Police song Roxanne comes on. I'm feeling pretty good, since I hadn't eaten anything all day. So I ask her to go to the concert, which is sunday, the 5th. She goes "To see the Police? F*CK YES!" I'm paraphrasing, of course.

We went out again sunday, and the Police concert came up again, and she still seemed like she was into it. I started to get a little bit more excited about the concert because the kiss goodbye on sunday was totally innocent, but it lingered for just a tiny little moment. Promising.

So she calls me tuesday. We talk about the concert. She says she's worried about how we're getting to the concert. I laugh her off, saying it's just a simple bus ride to Giants Stadium. But I let her know that she might be home late, because the line to get back on the buses to the city is usally pretty long. She sounds a little worried, but still, she seemed into it.

So we hang up, and then around midnight last night, I get an e-mail telling me she is sorry but she's getting stressed out about the concert and can't go after all. She tells me to call her tonight if I want. So I do, and she tells me that she felt like it was too much, that the concert was too expensive (I think she knew that the tickets for the seats I have cost over $500), and that she really does love being with me and talking with me but now that this has happened, it's awkward, so we should probably just stop seeing each other.

There, that's pretty much the story.

I can somewhat understand her backing out of the concert if she felt uncomfortable, but the part about just breaking it off completely seems insane to me. Why, if you like someone, can't you get past one awkward little moment?

OK, I was liking this until then.





She's four years old.

Even if this passes, she'll only be five.











OK, OK, maybe I'm wrong. But probably not.

wow....

I'm thinking maybe the idea of going to a concert...lots of people, long line getting back...maybe she's got a little anxiety problem?

knowing she's feeling anxious, she's feeling like an ass too, because she knows that's not, you know, really normal...

so, now she's embarrassed, her mind getting ahead of herself, and she's like...."oh forget it, it'll never work. How can I see a guy when I get stressed over going to a concert and getting on a bus"

you might think that sounds off the wall, but I'm seriously trying to put myself in her place. In the past, I remember doing something like drive up to a party I was invited to, sitting there in the car and just not being able to get out. Then thinking something stupid like "oh they didn't really want me to come"....then driving off, all the while freaking out because I knew that wasn't right.

anyway, do you think it's the crowd, new situation factor? Maybe if you said something like "well, I'd still like to see you some time, maybe get pizza (or something else totally unthreatening and familiar) sometime?

It just seems to me it's not you, it's the situation she's afraid of...sounds weird, but the fear is real.

That goddammed second beer. Dammit.

no, no I don't think it was the 2nd beer....it even went fine the 2nd time you saw her...I really don't think it's you kicky, really.

honest to god, she might be thinking..."what would he want to do with someone like me?"

Something is weird here. I would feel totally flattered if some guy spent $500 on concert tickets for me in so short a time. I might feel awkward if he offered to fly me to the Bahamas, but Giants Stadium is not in the Bahamas. I think it might have been a little early in the relationship to be so generous, but it should not have been a deal breaker.

Maybe she's the type that prefers a guy who sticks her with the check, cheats on her the first chance he gets and eventually leaves her in debt and with a baby in her belly. Go figure.

oooooh....I'm sorry for coming back to soon...but what green witch said made something click with me...

The thought of someone spending $500 (well ok $250) on me would at one point in my life wouldn't have flattered me. It would have made me feel like "oh god, he's going to end up being so disappointed with me and kick himself for having spent that kind of money on someone stupid like me"

There's a lot of distance between being flattered in that way and being impregnanted and dumped...maybe she doesn't feel worthy?

OK, I'll shut up, really.

nighty night.

I would love to believe that this is it. I told her I thought she was wrong about me, thinking it was that she thought I was going to be clingy or needy or something, but the truth was probably closer to her own relationship issues. I told her it was fine that she wants to stop talking, but that in about a month, I was going to call her again. She sounded happy about that, and said that would be good because then the awkwardness will be gone.

We'll see.

F*cking second goddammed bottle of beer.

You wouldn't be freaked if a guy dropped $500 within a week of dating? That's hard to believe. It shouldn't be this way, but I feel like that would make most girls nervous.

But Kicky's right, it doesn't have to be a deal breaker. You're better off without her, dude.

Of course, I've never come on to a girl too strong, so I really can't relate to this thread at all.

Jesus, you're good. She said that. She told me she didn't want me to regret it.

But that could be just her way of breaking it to me easy.

Hmmm...

(Don't go nighty nite yet Chai - we've only begun analyzing this)

In reality, I would insist on paying for my own ticket if I thought the guy might be disappointed with my company OR if I felt I would be obligated to pay for it in other ways. Maybe she thought she would "owe you" if she accepted.

Yeppers