Question for those having affairs with Married Person

Yes, I do think about her and how she would feel. Yes, I do know she is real and a human being. Yes, I agree she and he made vows.
Does she commit wholly to being his wife, in all ways. Is he happy with her, she with him or do they just co-exist? No, he doesn't speak ill of her...only that he loves her as a friend and no longer in love with her. That she also is not affectionate towards him... I can't speak in detail of their home life, I only know what we have and share. Yes....he chose her!

Let me tell you from first hand experience...DON'T DO IT!!!! They will tell you whatever you want to hear. They will give the assurance so that you'll stay and "wait" for him. They have an answer and excuse for everything. DON'T BELIEVE A WORD!!! Affairs are like a bad drug and gambling addiction. At first it's all fun and wonderful. It feels great and you make each other come alive. You fill each other's "voids" and then become each other's "soulmates". Then soon you begin to expect more and when he doesn't deliver or live up to your expectations . This is when frustration, resentment, jealousy develops. Next thing you know, you spiral downward into a deep dark place. You become depressed. You feel isolated. Affairs consumes you and slowly destroys the person that you are. DON'T DO IT!!! Biggest regret of my life. I wish I could turn back the clock and kept driving.

As the wife for 21 years who has never cheated or broke her vows and my husband has cheated and lied about it until I filed for divorce I can say I judge him and any woman who participated. He didn't just lie to me and my sons and cause damage to our whole families, he lied to these women. He risked my health, hurt our finances and forever changed the way we look at him. There is no trust, our vows and marriage of 21 years feel wasted and useless and it greatly impacted each of my sons. If you are not good enough to get your own man or are cheating than you are wrong and what you put out comes back to you. If you are the husband you are a coward and will never be trusted by your children or wife again or any woman who knows your a liar and cheat with no morals or value.

Agreed. The spouse is wrong for straying and whoever the spouse is straying WITH is just as wrong.

I listened to him justify his affairs by saying I spent to much time doing things for my sons and family. He said she was married and not happy and together she gave him what he needed which was boosting his ego, agreeing with how big of a botch I was for loving and living for my my family, that they could talk about anything and everything and they had all these adveoand made out and tamed and texted about sex but apparently never had sex. From the day he started seeing her he changed sexually for the first time in 18 years. He started choking me, he became aggressive and rough and has not looked me in the face or been tender for 4 years. He started degrading me and saying things that upset me or made me cry and he would continue sex when I cried like I wasn't there or didn't count. He demanded oral sex period and wanted nothing but that and anal sex which we have never done and won't. Oral sex was for forplay and now it had become just about him I get used and get nothing from him. Not emotionally, not sexually, not intimacy, not co parenting, nothing. He denied it for 4 years and finally after another affair and me filing for divorce he said he would admit everything. He has admitted everything but sex with either of them but my gut was right and it's still telling me he had sex with them and they were both disgusting so he risked my health, ruined our family, brought her in my home and bed and around one of my sons. There's nothing he hasn't tainted or defiled leaving me with daily reminders of what has been ruined for me and my sons. There's no vows that count, no promises, my home and children have been violated, my belongings all the places I thought were special even music is ruined for me. He admits nothing and shows no empathy or remorse until my own beliefs have changed. I don't believe in love or marriage. I have no faith or trust in anyone but myself and I know he has lied for so long that he has probably always cheated and used me but just got caught. I'm not sure there is any hope for us and he seems to think that I should stay faithful and follow the vows we had but he can do what he wants. I don't believe in my vows, I don't feel married and I know I will never love any man deeply or before myself. I don't believe anything he says or does and I resent that he wasted 21 years of my life and that my kids have unbearable pain because of him. As far as the married woman and the 23 year old with 2 illegitimate kids 8 and 6 I met them and saw what they are and can't understand it. She's into drugs, being drunk, tattooed from head to toe, open about sleeping with men and women to get her hair or nails done, truly nasty and all I can think is that if she would have se. For nail polish she would sleep with anything. Again I feel he is nothing but a liar.

Sex

The day I felt the need for an affair I would divorce.
If a marriage needs improving then from my pov its already doomed.

When I hear a woman who slept with another woman's husband talk about how he was separated, he couldn't get a divorce, it's only a matter of time, I didn't mean to pursue a married man, he promised to leave her and his kids for me, all I can say is you are not a good person. You are the outsider to him, his marriage, his family and his kids. You are going to get back exactly what you caused, which is cheated on and kids who will find out you were sleeping with someone else's husband and hurt his family, his wife and his children and your own will not have any respect for you as a mother or woman. You got the second hand sex, the cheap shopping trips, the hidden sex visits and treated like something that you keep hidden because you don't respect it, aren't proud of it and want to pretend it doesn't exist in your real life. I pity your future.

What are you think?

Why oh why do affairs nowadays all have to do with marriage and infidelity? Call me old fashioned but I much prefer the Man From Uncle Affairs, they're far more exciting and have titles like this: The Thousand Coffins Affair, The Doomsday Affair, The Copenhagen Affair, The Dagger Affair, The Mad Scientist Affair, The Vampire Affair, The Radioactive Camel Affair, The Monster Wheel Affair, The Diving Dames Affair, The Assassination Affair, The Invisibility Affair, The Mind Twisters Affair, and The Power Cube Affair.

So come on randy husbands and sad lonely women, stop looking for doomed love and start doing **** with radioactive camels and power cubes.