Odd dips

Docs in the morning.Il keep you posted.

M.G.--

We'll be waiting.

Being refered to a cardiologist to go on a monitor for 24 hrs.Will take 3-4 weeks to hear when.

Ah, is this a holter monitor? My folks have both had to use them at various times. They're pretty easy to deal with.

ah.....good.

Dont know what that is but mums used one in the past so doesnt seem so scarey.

Believe it or not, I thought this thread was all about chip dips.

Material Girl--

May the referal be speeding and the waiting list for the portable moderator be short.

Your officially on your way to Getting Answers.

You wouldnt be the first.

Thanks Noddy, il keep y'all posted.

At first I thought it was about former boyfriends.

If that was the case the titles would either be 'sensitive guy dumps me' or 'ex imasculated by girlfreind,now wife'

One of those would be a good thread.

Forgot to say, Im having the monitor in reference to the blackout i had.This is something I havnt told my parents as I didnt want to worry them.
Cant help thinking its going to be mentioned when my mums with me.
Gona have to somehow drop the blackout into a conversation before I see the cardiologist.EEk!

mg, I think your mother will likely guess the reason without you having to tell her.

The reason for wearing a holter monitor (at least the one I'm aware of) is to record every single heartbeat and the electrical signal being produced for the period of time you wear it.

Basically, it's checking for arrhythmias, which is the heart beating either in an irregular way, or faster or slower than it should be. It's like wearing a portable EKG machine for an extended period of time.

Arrhythmias can may you light headed, or faint.

mg....now would be a good time to start asking questions of your doctor, rather than just going along with whatever he says.

I know you can be shy about wanting to "bother" others, but wanting to know what the reason is the doctor wants you to do something is extremely important.

I can understand the feeling of wanting to just go along not asking questions, as that makes it seems it's out of your hands....but, you are an important member of your health care team.

Ask why, when, what and how every chance you get.

MG--

Listen to Chai.

Don't tell your parents about your wild weekends in the big city or the little jaunts to the South Pacific.

Do mention little things like "depression" and "blackouts"--unless you want them sobbing at your funeral, "But she seemed so healthy!"

Noddy, you always say the very thing that evokes strong reactions in me.

m-girl - This is not in a scolding way....but let me tell you something about the reactions of people when they hear "oh, but I didn't want to worry you"

My brother died when he was 34, and I was 30.
I only found out literally hours before he was dead, although he had been in the hospital for days before that.

If it hadn't been for a phone call I initiated shortly before he died, I wouldn't have know until after he was dead.

To add insult to injury, the phone call I made was to tell my family I just got engaged to be married.

This was the conversation:
Me: Hi! Mom, it's Chai, How's everything....?
Her: Oh......Chai........I'm fine.......

Me: (wondering about pregnant pauses, but remembering how excited she got when my other brothers and sisters announced their engagments)...Well, guess what! I have some good news!
Her: Oh.......well.......what is it?

Me: I'm Getting Married!!!
Her: Oh....that's nice.....

Some more hemming and hawing later, and she drops this...

Her: Your brother's in the hospital and he's not going to last the night.

Beyond the immediate shock, I was made to feel like a complete a$$hole, but that's besides the point.

Later, after the funeral and all that, I sat down and asked her why she didn't let me know what was going on, so I could've come to see him (we were close).

I didn't want to worry you.

Now, don't you think that should have been up to me to decided whether or not I should be told something?

Not saying you're going to die or something, but your mom is a grown woman, an adult, and deserves the opportunity to make up her own mind whether or not this is something she should worry about.

Also...this is from personal experience too......more than half the time when someone withholds information from me because they didn't want to "worry" or "bother" me....it wasn't anything I'd have been worried or bothered about anyway.

I mean this in a loving way mg...I'm glad you can come here and talk about this....but.....you are a grown up, not a little girl....grown ups keep private things to themselves, mom doesn't have to know everything anymore....but, one adult tells another important things like this.

I agree with your comments but I have kept things to myself for so long that Im judging their possible reactions on how they reacted when I was younger,.... and come to think of it, in recent times too.
My mum had a go at me about curtains a few weeks back.This makes me think if i tell them something medical she will blame me for it, its a criticism I can really do without.

I do see what you are saying tho.There reaction was alot more calm than i predicted.

Interesting material girl...and I understand your thinking.

Somehow, you've associated the idea that your mom gets mad at you over mundane things like....curtains....a ruined meal.....a dress....with her becoming mad at you, and blaming you for "everything"

I really understand.

Remember though, you are NOT to blame for what is happening to you, and even if you were, that's not something you parents should scold you about.

If I may say...sounds like you mom has a control issue, and feels it necessary to lay blame for everything she doesn't like....of course not on herself (unless it's to guilt trip you)

Stand fast mg....and let us know what's going on.

Thanks Chai.

I adore my mum, she isnt one of those monstor mums you hear about, we get on very well at times, but sometimes she does say things that are impossible to respond to in any way that will have a good outcome.It really gets to me.Im sure she doesnt realise she is doing it.

eg re my lack of social life--'Your wasting your life'.Not helpful at all, youd think she'd give me a list of places I can go.
re me adapting a dress-'It would be a shame to spoil it'.Because obviously Id be ruining it and not making it look better.
re curtains-'Passers by might not like the way it looks'.I dont give a f*** about what other people like the look of,surely my opinions are more important.

If I reply how Id like she will act hurt and threaten to leave.Wether I hold my opinions in or let them out its very negative for me.

M.G.--

Does your mother have any grandchildren?

If so, remind her of her grandmotherly possibilities.

If not, the next time she makes one of her managing, maternal comments ask her how she would feel about you being an unmarried mother who visited a sperm bank.

Ask her whether she'd prefer a boy or a girl.

Ask her whether you should go for Nobel Prize sperm.

Don't endure her comments--derail her comments. You can get a lot of mileage out of Single Motherhood and Sperm Banks.

Sadly I think she knows I wont be giving her grandchildren, wheras my very happy,recently married brother will be making her a grandmother at some point.

Any other derailments other than potential grandchildren?

MG--

Use the sperm bank as a conversational topic. You don't have to go to the sperm bank, you just have to switch your mother's thoughts from your present events to a future that you have no intention of tasting.

Mum: Dear Daughter, why don't you go out on Saturday night.

You: Mum, I've been wanting to talk to you about grandchildren. What would you think if I investigated the local Sperm Banks.

Mum: (Well, what would she say?"


****

"Tennis, anyone." is still an acceptable conversational stopper, but I like the possibilities of the Sperm Bank.