Having affair with happily married man?

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OK...this is the first time I've done internet chatting stuff...go easy...
I'm an attractive single sane 37 year old...am open and ready to meet someone, and meanwhile have become great friends (thru a spiritual community) with a man who has all I wish I could find in a man. I have been single for about three years, and the last time I had sex I got pregnant thru a broken condom and had an abortion because I want to raise a child with someone I love...I've gotten way jaded but have kept a punchy sense of humor about my singleness...but its getting really wearing.
Anyways, I finally broke down in loneliness and need for intimacy and made love to him...two different nights now...and it was earth shattering, both sexually, and emotionally. I had told a girlfriend I could keep it in check and not expect or hope for more...but I knew I'd feel awful about his wife and kids, and I do. He has expressed to me that they are actually very happy, but married since high school, and he just likes to spend time with me. He had a six year relationship with another woman years ago, and he felt his wife knew and they just never spoke of it. But meanwhile they have a lovely life, and she's grateful for the life he's provided for her, I believe that, he says she even teases him about phone calls...like"was that your girlfriend?" and doesn't get upset when he goes on trips..who knows...but I get the feeling its true..they've been together for 15 yrs and not from this country originally....Anyways of course I can't expect I'll not hope for more...I already do! And I'm sad...I live in a town where most every single guy is taken, and I really do want to have kids...(Pro lifers need not reply to this posting) I've gotten good at loving being alone and yet I yearn for a partner...and this man is an example of the kind of compatibility I would want. Before I met him I'd never met other men who seemed like my type...intellectual but spiritual, funny, sexual and sensual, outdoorsy, financially secure, grounded. Why must the example come in this form? And does this mean my ideal future mate would be a cheater? I'm so confused...anyway...if anyone else has experience like this, where its not as black and white...(a guy who's in a happy marriage and honest about all his intentions while he's cheating? Whoa.) Please respond with any insights...

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Here's what you do.

Run. Far and fast. In the opposite direction of this inevitable mess.

You're being used by this "wonderful man". No one is wonderful who is that deceptive. Chances are good that his wife is not that pleasantly understanding. If she is, then what does that say about him -- she's lived with him for a decade and a half and is happy to let him slide in the fidelity area? What kind of jerk must he be if his own wife doesn't give a damn? And, if she does, then that's a lie by him now, isn't it?

Even if everyone is perfectly hunky dory about this, there are children involved. At the very least, someone needs to be responsible about them and, if he and his wife won't be, you at least can be by getting out of this soap opera.

And -- you are not thinking straight because of the sex. You wanted it, you got it (and you may not have much of a fair basis for comparison if it's been a while) and now it's clouding your judgment. He is not going to leave his wife for you. Sorry, but that's the way it is in the vast majority of cases.

There are other ways to find someone. Since the spiritual life is your thing, go to church, or to spiritual websites -- some have forums and may have singles areas. There are other ways to make a connection than by fishing in someone else's pond.

I repeat. Get out while you can, before you get any more emotionally entangled. You need to step back, clear your head and find someone who will care for you 24/7, not someone else's leftovers, or someone who's just playing. You don't deserve to be treated this way.

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if it feels good go for it, marriage is only a business relationship when it all comes down to it anyway. If you dont have anyone else why not? theres no reason to be lonely.

If you dont like the idea of him cheating then dont see him anymore, its that easy.i doubt his wife thinks that way, but she might, and she has most likely cheated on him too.

sex is natural, marriage is not. Thats my 2 cents.

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It is impossible to have an affair with a happily married spouse.

It is possible to have an affair with a person who cheats and does who knows what else.

Quote:

And I'm sad...I live in a town where most every single guy is taken, and I really do want to have kids..

You're 37. What is keeping you in that town?

Joe(Go. Don't even for a moment look back)Nation

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I cant understand why women do this!!
Ok, amazing sex, fair enough, but there are loads of guys that can give you amazing sex.
Ive been on my own for years, not even a whiff of a decent guy but I dont 'borrow' someones husband and have an affair.

Basically he is using you.
He is having his cake and eating it, and he isnt that amazing or perfect, he is just a cheat and they are 10 a penny.
You are giving him everything that he wants and he is probably laughing hysterically and rubbing his hands together with glee.
Nobody that willingly gets married , has a happy marriage, but has has an affair anyway,is worth anything.