Here 'tis:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/29/fashion/29condo.html
It's not forced, at all -- if you want to stay up in your room you can. But it offers opportunities to just naturally get to know people that are difficult in the city. (I liked this line:
Quote:"We're extremely social creatures, and I think people in New York really suffer from an inability to really interact with people," said Susan Meiklejohn, an associate professor of urban planning at Hunter College. "And that's what these developers are realizing."
This is not because New Yorkers are cold, Dr. Meiklejohn said, but because the city is so dense that people avoid one another to establish buffer zones. "What level of friendliness can you possibly sustain each day if you have to say hello to everybody you meet on 34th Street?" she said.
Bolded the line I was talking about, kept the rest for context.
Definitely thought of you when I was reading it.
I've felt like that sometimes, too, Kicky. For what it's worth.
Seems like I am constantly fighting the on-again-off-again cycles of wanting to be close to people, and wanting to just be left to my own devices (no matter how unsatisfying they may get).
Need eventually pulls me back to people. I need them, and yes, some people do need me. I'm starting to be ok with that. It's something of a struggle all the time, and the closer I get , though.
Before my present guy, it would have made me cringe and no-way-in-hell could I have admitted and let someone simply help fill a need of mine without guilt or shame about it.
As though it were wrong to need someone other than oneself.
But, I'm starting to find some real peace in it. Letting myself be cared for, I mean, and realizing "hey, I don't have to become some blathing idiot or lose my self sufficiency to do this".
I guess I don't know the answer to your question! I just know that for me, a part of it is letting others care for me without feeling bad about it all the time. If that makes sense.
And having others who need and want what I have to offer let me in too.
This could be happening for you right now even, while you're thinking of other things.
Here's hoping you feel it, that nice feeling deep inside, soon. We all like that mushy feeling sometimes.
Hey, Soz, thanks for finding that. That was an interesting article, actually. I'm in no position to buy into one of those places at the current time, unfortunately, but reading that article reminded me of the apartments in Orlando. A lot of them have the gym, the pool, the sauna, the rec room...my buddy lived in a place that even had racketball courts. Ah, the good old days.
Thanks, Flushd. I like what you said and it makes a lot of sense.
When I'm down, I throw in Audioslave and listen to the inspirational words of Chris Cornell:
"to be yourself is all that you can do
to be yourself is all that you can do
to be yourself is all that you can do
to be yourself is all that you can doooooo"
Jackass.
Not you, Chris Cornell.
Kicky,
The whole country is going through a bit of what you are feeling due to all the intense, constant media bombardment of the Virginia Tech killings. We're all going through a post-tramatic stress experience just as we all did after 911.
Go hook up with your "comfort" people and animals. Connect with the loving, caring friends and turn off the computers and television sets for awhile.
I did that for myself this week and it helped me to snap right out of the funk I was developing when avoiding the News of VT didn't work.
Find a friendly dog, a snuggly cat and some people to share some great big bear hugs with. You can all work some magic on each other while playing fetch and hugging each other between tosses.
kickycan wrote:Happy? Hmmmm...I would say that I'm unsatisfied with certain aspects of it, but no, I wouldn't go so far as to say I am unhappy with it. But I'd like to change certain things.
Like for instance, I don't know how to get close with people anymore (or maybe I just don't want to for some unknown reason), and that means I'm alone a lot. I'd like to change that. I think.
Why not start small? Join a book club where people meet once a month
or every other week, where you discuss books. You get to know people
but it's not an "in you face" meeting and not that often either. For starters
probably good.
CalamityJane wrote:kickycan wrote:Happy? Hmmmm...I would say that I'm unsatisfied with certain aspects of it, but no, I wouldn't go so far as to say I am unhappy with it. But I'd like to change certain things.
Like for instance, I don't know how to get close with people anymore (or maybe I just don't want to for some unknown reason), and that means I'm alone a lot. I'd like to change that. I think.
Why not start small? Join a book club where people meet once a month
or every other week, where you discuss books. You get to know people
but it's not an "in you face" meeting and not that often either. For starters
probably good.
That is something I have considered myself but then I realized there wasn't going to be anyone in my generation there
stuh505 wrote:CalamityJane wrote:kickycan wrote:Happy? Hmmmm...I would say that I'm unsatisfied with certain aspects of it, but no, I wouldn't go so far as to say I am unhappy with it. But I'd like to change certain things.
Like for instance, I don't know how to get close with people anymore (or maybe I just don't want to for some unknown reason), and that means I'm alone a lot. I'd like to change that. I think.
Why not start small? Join a book club where people meet once a month
or every other week, where you discuss books. You get to know people
but it's not an "in you face" meeting and not that often either. For starters
probably good.
That is something I have considered myself but then I realized there wasn't going to be anyone in my generation there
That might be a problem if you're looking for romance as an added bonus, but otherwise why would a generation gap be any more of a problem there than hanging out here?
Stuh, don't dodge older people. They might have daughters your age, or know someone who is your age. One of my friends volunteered as an usher at a theater playhouse where all other ushers were twice her age, but they
all had so much fun together, they started going out once a month to dinner. One of the older female ushers introduced my friend to a guy she thought would have a lot in common with my friend. Well, they did, and they hit it off - they've been married for 15 years now.
Hi Kicky !!!!
I see you're down, huh?
Here... I'll leave you a kiss on this thread just so that you feel better already!
Um beijo!
Aw, superjuly! I'm cured with just one kiss!
Kicky,
Have you read Dante's The Divine Comedy?
I think you might like it... Give it a shot!
It might suck some of your romantic italian out of you.
Beijos!
