Hmm well, it would mean something to me. I'd figure that she was either "easy" or not interested in me. I can see option #1 though. The other options...sound so scheming!
Might not have been completely at the conscious level. I mean, Kicky obviously thinks a lot of her, but has he been ignoring all other women while they hang out as a group? It seems from what he's said that part of the group dynamic is for the single members to try to find a date while they're out.
And actually that's a fourth possibility, just:
4.) Go through the same motions she's been going through all along, nothing unusual.
Dunno, would need more info from Kicky on that one.
I feel I need to give some more background info.
Up until around Christmas of last year, we would go out with the group and have a good time and talk and all that, but the topic of other people we were interested in or dating never really came up at all. I know I didn't want to say anything because even though I was trying to keep my mitts off her, I guess I couldn't help wanting her anyway.
Around that time, I stupidly brought up the fact that I was dating this other girl one time when we were all hanging out. That may have changed things with me and her, and I can't really be sure that she didn't just give up on anything happening between us at that point--to be honest, I think the only reason I even mentioned the other girl was because I had sort of decided to just give up on this girl because I figured it wouldn't ever work out.
Considering this, and how the night started, I guess it is possible that she really has given up on me. But I really felt like there was something there saturday night. Maybe she was only doing all that to prove to herself that she was still attractive, even if that other dude didn't want her.
Okay, it's busy here at work today, so that's about all I have time to write at present. Thanks for all the input, everyone.
Tune tomorrow to "As the Kicky Cans" when we hear Kicky say,
"Kiss me, you fool!"
stuh, we're talking about women here. it's not scheming, because that requires a plot, an act of thinking. this is a primitive instinctive reaction. i'm sure if female babboons had telephones, they would do the same. you like one guy, so you flirt and give phone number to another one, that's just how it works. no scheming there.
Kicky, I think you're thinking too much about what she's thinking!
Relationships that start out as friendships have a much stronger footing, in my opinion, than those that are based on heat from the outset. You've taken it slowly up to this point and you've moved a rung or two up the ladder. Great - it was a natural progression of the friendship. Keep on keepin' on, as they say. If you want to see her outside of the group, then ask her out. If you're concerned that she'll say no or that you'll blow any further chances then continue to move slowly, but don't go back to where it was before. If she sensed a spark and you go back to treating her as just one of the gang then she'll think you're a dweeb.
You're worried about the age difference, but it's not as if you've lied to her and told her you're 35. You're assuming (thinking) that she thinks you're 35. If she's concerned about your age, then she would probably ask you outright. If she was concerned about not getting involved in a relationship that might not last forever, then she wouldn't get involved in the relationship.
You enjoy her company. She seems to enjoy being with you. I don't see the problem.
Thinking has absolutely no place in this discussion!! Stop that!!
JPB wrote:Kicky, I think you're thinking too much about what she's thinking! You enjoy her company.
Actually, I don't think I am. I realize it may seem that way, but that's only because I'm trying to give you good people of A2K all the information you might want or need to form an opinion on the situation. That's why I'm writing more and more about it. I am actually pretty confident about how we feel about each other.
stuh honey, if everyone thought like you, it's a miracle babies are ever conceived.
There comes a time...and kicky you're way past it...where you have to stop thinking of all the "what did she mean?" "well, what if?", "maybe she thinks..." and make a move.
Jeez you guys, I feel like I'm coordinating 17th century tea party. Like Bleak House.
Miss, Great Legs, may I present Master Kicky Can, of the Lower East Side Cans.
kicky: Oh! Well, thank you, but Miss Great Legs and I are already aquainted. Good lay, I mean, Good day, Miss Legs.
Legs: Good evening Mr. Can (thinking...God he is Soooo cute and funny, but I don't want to appear foward)
kicky: Might I say that's a lovely thong, I mean lovely thong sandals you have on, quite becoming (thinking....man, she must be wearing a thong, look at those smooth lines)
Legs: Thank you Mr. Can, I acquired them at Walgreens (ohhhhhh....I wonder if he's finally noticed I'm wearing butt floss. Oh dear, maybe he doesn't think I'm "clean")
kicky: Well, Miss Leggs, it's been lovely seeing you. I must say you look every bit as charming as every time I've seen you in this past year (what the hell is wrong with me...ask her out)!
Legs: Ditto Mr. Can (what the hell is wrong with me, why doesn't he ask me out! Maybe I can show him I'm an attractive woman by mentioning some loser asked for my phone #...maybe then he'll realize I wish a nice guy like him, particularly him, would ask for it)
kickycan wrote:We dig each other.
Then I fail to see the problem. Dig a little deeper and see what happens.
Maybe I'm not hearing you guys right, but I believe my reputation is preceding me here, making it hard for you all to actually see what I'm saying. This time it's actually NOT a matter of me being afraid to make a move or that I'm worried about what she might be thinking. It's a matter of whether I should go for it with this girl, given the circumstances, not a matter of timing or fear of rejection or any of the other things that it seems you guys are focusing on.
I don't have time to try to make this any clearer since I'm at work, so I hope that makes sense.
You aren't making it clear why you shouldn't.
You see, kicky, when a man and a woman have feelings for each other...
****, everything ends badly. Life ends badly. Even popular sitcoms end badly. Give the finest dinner 12 hours, and it's floating in the toilet bowl. Masturbation is inevitably followed by uncontrollable sobbing. But we still live, watch TV, eat, and tune the skin flute every now and then, don't we?
Kicky, in your opening post you said there were two things preventing you from proceeding to a more romantic stage than your current platonic one. Your age and your (lack of) religion. You're convinced that those things will become an issue at some point down the line and she will end up heartbroken. Am I right, so far?
You dig each other but out of concern for her future well being, you're going to skip the whole thing and save her the heartache (tell me where I start getting it wrong).
You don't have a problem with her age and you might or might not have a problem with her religion. But, without giving her a chance to decide for herself whether she has a problem with either of those things, you've decided that it's best to skip the romantic stuff (I admit I might be stuck on page 1 here).
What else?
Dude, she's an adult. 28 is definitely an adult. 28 is definitely old enough to know a relationship might not work out. 28 is definitely old enough to know the risks, but still be willing to risk it.
Dude, you're 40. Life's too short not to grab opportunities with both hands.
Are you saying that you are not good enough for her, and you are afraid that she will become involved with someone who is beneath her? Are you concerned about the differences between you? It sounds to me like you are worried that both you and she will be getting herself into a problem relationship.
One never knows what is attractive to another person. If it were me I would "go for it". Sometimes the strangest combinations of people make the best couples. What's the worst that could happen? You know that you tried, and it didn't work out. Then again, the worst case scenario could be that it DID work out. Is that what concerns you?
kickycan wrote:JPB wrote:Kicky, I think you're thinking too much about what she's thinking! You enjoy her company.
Actually, I don't think I am. I realize it may seem that way, but that's only because I'm trying to give you good people of A2K all the information you might want or need ....
Okay, then. The next thing we want to hear are the sleazy, nasty, filthy details of how you both ravaged each other for twelve hours straight, fed each other berries and licked the whipped cream off of each other and then started again and be sure to include the positioning of your hands on her ankles and how her.... You get the idea.
(Oops, hope that didn't cause a problem at work.)
