Good Morning,
I'm doing ok. Just a little down and sad. Thanks for asking.
What's been happening? I'm not trying to pry, but we're here to listen if you want to talk.
Yes I know everyone is here to listen and I really appreciate it. I've just been missing my husband allot.... I's hitting home, that this is really it. My life has changed for ever. I guess I'm just trying to cope right now. My heart misses him and wishes that I were with him But reality is, that I can't put myself thru all the trauma anymore. We spoke yesterday for the first time since wednesday. I'm not sure if I did the right thing or not by talking to him. But it did make me feel a little better to know that at least we can talk instead of acting like we are dead to each other.
Thanks again for listening. Even thou I don't know any of you personally it feels good to know people are there for me and are willing to listen and support me.
How are your kids doing with the current situation?
Ok I think? The only one that I have been able to talk to is the 19 year old. He has been very understanding and supportive. The other 3 they haven't said very much. And truthfully I haven't either. I need to be prepared to have that kind of conversation with them. I know they are going to ask alot of questions. And I want to be able to handle them with out crying or being angry.
What's wrong with crying or being angry? You're kids are all old enough to understand that you are a person with real feelings and that you're hurting and angry. I don't suggest putting them in the middle of any discussions, but I don't think you need to put on a false face of bravado either.
I guess it's just hard for me, as well as I don't want them to place judgement against their father, or me for that matter. All kids want their parents to stay together even if their is a good reason not to be. They will try to understand but will be hurting just as much as me. I'm not looking forward to that. It's hard enough as it is.
Missy--
You are absolutely right about presenting the situation to your kids in a dispassionate way. This is in their best interests.
You are flapping bonkers if you think that being a Good Mother means being a Woman with No Negative Feelings. You aren't setting a good example for your kids by being a block of ice--you're setting an unreasonable example.
Knowing that you are hurting and knowing that you are not letting personal anguish turn you into a nasty, vindictive person is the sort of lesson your kids should learn.
Hi Noddy,
Yes not reacting as a nasty vindictive person is a great lesson for the kids to experience. But they are the ones that I am afraid of feeling nasty and vindictive. My fear is them not being understanding to my need and holding it against me for their father not being home. Remember I am the one who asked for the time out.
Missy--
Your kids are entitled to feel nasty and vindictive. Their father is acting like a tomcat with no responsibilities. Having angry kids is one of the prices your husband will have to pay for his actions.
If you truly love this man then you have no choice but to trust him. Talking from experience, mis-trust, guilt, and resentment can rip a marriage apart. Let it go and it will be much better for all involved. The whole "firm"issue is something that men battle constantly! Again coming from someone who has been there. It only has to happen once and it will happen again and again. You see a man's penis is his best friend, and if doesn't deliver it can be mentally challenging to get it working again. My best advise is not to mention it at all. Don't ask whats wrong and don't say its ok. Just ignore it 4 now and the problem will go away on its own
Excuse me, Peter, but your advice doesn't add up.
"If you truly love this man then you have no choice but to trust him"
Yes, that is true as long as the trust is not broken, and if
you had read the entire thread you would have noticed that missy's
husband has broken this trust on numerous occasion
" It only has to happen once and it will happen again and again."
Right, and that actually contradicts your first statement
"My best advise is not to mention it at all."
Oh yes, having your head in the sand is always the best
solution, isn't it?
"Don't ask whats wrong and don't say its ok. Just ignore it 4 now and the problem will go away on its own"
Has this actually ever happened to you? Problems of these
nature never resolve themselves. You personally might be happy to put
your head in the sand and wait for your wife to perhaps reconsider her
opinion of you while sleeping around and having a good time, but not
everyone has your mental disposition to cope with a partner whose infidelities seem permanently embedded.
read my statement before putting me down.
I was speaking of his "Erection" problems. lol
And as far as the trust thing goes I read the word "talking to a woman" Did i miss read that?
