Monkeys go for your eyes.
Eat your oatmeal. It will stick to your ribs. Can you imagine what a picture that conjured in a tiny child's mind?
Before you were born, the world didn't have any color, we only had black and white.
(Which explains all those old black and white photographs.)
When on a very long car journey with your parents, if you shout "ARE WE THERE YET?" fifty times, Mummy will give you lots of sweeties.
Also, make sure that you need to go to the toilet, or feel sick every five minutes, as Daddy loves stopping the car on the Motorway.
The car is powered by farts.
If you swallow chewing gum, it will wrap around your heart and you will die.
Once, at a military dinner, my uncle quoted his mother to a female officer sitting next to him: "Eat up," he said. "That'll put hair on your chest," to which she coolly responded, "Who's hair? Your's?"
If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will start growing in your belly.
This is not my snot I am playing with, it's a tiny Martian named Colofox.
Put a popsicle in your pocket, and you'll be cool all day.
Sweetie, Daddy brought some Keepmehere from a store, run and find him and tell him to give you some.
Something about "if you sneeze, your heart stops for a few seconds"...
How about useful lies like:
If you don't put on your seatbelt mommy will go to jail.
Don't pick your nose, you might pull some of your brain out.
You put your hand infront of your mouth when you cough because if you cough up a part of your insides you can catch it and put it back in.
If you yell too much, your voice will stay that way.
I know when you break something. I have mommy eyes in the back of my head. I see everything.
Eau du toilette comes from the toilet, so if you spill some, you can put it back by scooping some back into the bottle. Be sure to use Mommy's good silver spoon for that. Shhh, don't tell anyone.
Shewolfnm, I told my sons that I had eyes in the back of my head. One day my older son came over and lifted up the hair on the back of my head just to make sure.
Couldn't use that one ever again. LOL
My mother had eyes in the back of her head and she received considerable intelligence from a source described as "a little bird".
I heard that if you step on a sidewalk crack you break your mother's back.
We leaped upon the cracks pretending that they were little birds.
Joe(no, we didn't)Nation
"Eggs talk to each other after you shut the fridge door" and "We didn`t have iPods when I was your age, so we all had 20-piece marching bands with 10,000 songs memorized
there was no such thing as a psp back in my gradpas day so he used real people to shoot at
