If you bathe the dog in fabric softener, he comes out all fluffy.
Cat poos contain rare trace elements that can be used in medicine. This makes them very valuable.
Collect them with tongs and when you've got fifty, take them to your Doctor who will pay you £10.
Some that my grandmother had me believing, as a child:
Doughnut holes are poisonous. Always leave eat around it, leaving a doughnut ring to be safe. (For the Canadians of the group: Imagine my horror when Tim Horton's first introduced Timbits and advertised them as doughnut holes.)
There are little fairies in traffic light poles who switch the lights from red to green. Never make the fairy angry, or she won't turn the light for you. Give her your biggest, brightest smile and don't forget to say "thank you" when you get to the other side of the street.
I liked the traffic light one, Tico. That was cute.
OK............If you spin round really fast and then stop, your face will skid round to the back of your head.
French fries are made out of French people.
Remember, if you don't say your prayers the fashidi will come get you.
I believed that as a wee thing, L.E. and it scared me properly, but not nearly as much as when I realized that the real expression was:
If I should die before I wake.
Hush little baby, dont say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
Its just the beast under your bed,
In your closet, in your head
Santa is the world's largest supplier of venison.
FreeDuck wrote:If you want to wake up Daddy, hit him right on the zipper.
Wimmins is evil, I tells ya....
Letty wrote:Remember, if you don't say your prayers the fashidi will come get you.
I believed that as a wee thing, L.E. and it scared me properly, but not nearly as much as when I realized that the real expression was:
If I should die before I wake.
Even as a child, I found this very scary and disturbing. Maybe cause my family didn't get enough religion in me for me to understand the prayer as a whole.
Creepy
The Victorians completely forgot to have the year 1862.
The error went unnoticed for over twenty years, when they finally put matters right by slotting it in between 1885 and 1886.
That snowman you made says that he won't go walking in the air with you, 'cos you forgot to give him a nose.
( My mother to me )
If you hold your fart long enough
then sit on a wooden chair
fart
you could split it down the middle.
Your uncle did that many times . People would bet him money for it.
That is how he got rich.
Everybody speaks English. All the other languages are just a bunch of funny accents. Also, if someone doesn't understand you, talk louder and louder.
The origin of the word "Limey", originates from the name of a ship's Captain, an Englishman named Corb Limey, who discovered America in 1322, but forgot to enter it into the ship's log.
If you burp, hiccup, sneeze and fart at the same time, you will die.
Joe(thanks to George Carlin for remembering)Nation
French fries, inserted into both nostrils of a sleeping adult, will stop them from snoring.
Grandma loves it when you hide her teeth.
Stop picking your nose! You might accidentally pull your brains out and end up as stupid as [insert favourite politician or relative here].
Grandma and Grandpa love it when you whistle.
You know those funny little balloons that your Daddy keeps in his bedside drawer?
Well, if you put itching powder on each one, Mummy will find it EVER so amusing.
