Why does my family have to be so f*cked up?

I'm sorry kicky, I didn't mean that as a dig at you.

I moved FAR away from them, and over the years it dwindled down to those couple of calls you had to make each year....B-days, xmas, whatever.

Every single time I would tell myself "don't get in that fight...don't do it"

But every damn call something would be said that just showed how little they knew about the way most other people live, let alone me. Either I'd swallow it and feel like **** for days, or, not even arguing, would express what was going on with me, and it would end up just being a mess, and I'd feel like **** for days.....I would literally stress out for days before I had to make "the call" because it never, ever in almost 25 years, went even okay.

I don't have any answers, but knowing who you are, and emotionally distancing yourself, helps some.

You want to know the truth? Since both of them are dead, I have not dreaded making one phone call to anyone. Some might think that's awful, or sad, but for me it's been bliss.

Yea, spin that **** back on to them.

Start mailing them crap on baby seals weekly, and ask for donations. Of course, use the donations they give you to go drinking. Manhattan is f'n expensive.

Here's a possible solution. Ask them if you can bring a friend to dinner and have Slappy drive down as your dinner guest.

Captial idea

Bostons not that far at all.

Oh kicky.. we MUST have the same family...


My mother does that exact same thing.

Of course , SHE doesnt go to church.. SHE doesnt do anything religious, but she sure does jump all over me to.

She even went as far as to say that I was robbing my daughter if I didnt teach her about god..

Yet, here I sit, never ever confronting her, and just smiling and glazing over the god conversations as if we were discussing food.

>sigh


I know how you feel..

Here is a humerous story that I hope will make you smile. I was driving my kids home from daycare when they were about 4 and 2. We drove past a cemetery near daycare and I think a particular statue always caught my daughters eye. It was a statue of Mary and my daughter exclaimed" Look Mom, there's God's wife!"
I thought it was really cute but I don't think my mother appreciated the humor I found in it. I just thought she was pretty observant for a kid who didn't frequent church.

Marty--

My four-year-old son saw one of those Virgin on a Half Shell lawn ornaments on a snowy lawn. We'd just finished reading the first of the Narnia books and he exclaimed, "Look. There's the White Witch."

His paternal grandmother was not amused.

As sad as I am to say this... you are probably right about that kicky. Well... you know it's hard. I've had thoughts of ditching my family lately. Just for a fleeting moment, but still they've come. I know people who have done it because they got so sick of it. I really don't buy that "blood is thicker that water" stuff. I guess for some it could be true, but you know I have yet to experience that. Honestly, the way I see it you have two choices here. Grit your teeth and bear it or walk away if they won't quit. Maybe that sounds harsh but you know what kicky? I've come to realize something lately. These "christians" that proclaim to know and live in the "love of God" honestly don't have a clue, because if they really loved us, they'd let us be and let us make our own decisions about our life without pressuring us to change to suit their needs. That's just how I feel about it though. That doesn't make it right I suppose.

Ahem! I am NOT the Virgin Mary.

Eva--

Neither are you limited to blue and white. You're a full spectrum goddess.

If you have any or the slightest inclination to make it in Hollywood here is your chance to act. Put on a show that you love her preaching and when she realise that you are truly "Christian" she will leave you alone and go on being motherly instead of being preachy.

Kicky, check out the wide variety of cards available here. Choose and use as the whim hits you.

CafePress Agnostic and Atheist Cards and Calendars

Here's the perfect card and gift to send:

Actually, the living a lie option (Hate to say it) is the only way to save a relationship with these people. I won't tell my family.

They will absolutely believe I'm going to hell. My entire relationship with all of them will consist of nothing other than them trying to "save my soul." My children will be told I'm in hell when I die.

As much as I value honesty and forthrightness, I'm not subjecting my children or myself to that kind of ****.

It's just not easy. I said I'd keep my mother in my thoughts recently, and she said "I'd rather you pray." I just said ok.

If it doesn't involve a great voluminous library of lies, I'd consider letting them think you ain't a heathen.

Is that really a relationship though lash when you can't be who you are because of what they will think?

Considering the alternative, it's what I choose.

But, no. Not real.

I understand and don't blame you a bit. It's easy for me to say, "Aaaah screw them, I'm outta here." But really, they are my family, I do love them, and I really don't want to do that either. It just hurts that they don't take me for what I am, yet I'm suppose to take them for what they are because they're "right" (christians going to heaven) and I'm wrong (sinner going to hell). It's something though. And something is better than nothing. Kicky's right. Family does suck sometimes. Heh... but so do I, so who am I to talk anyway?

I figure it this way. People aren't ever really 100% open with their extended family. This is just one more thing I'm not fully disclosing.

Not the most wonderful thing--but not the worst, either.

It's just sad.

But, eh.

<shrugs>

yep.

*nods in agreement*

Kicky, why not look at it all in a different light. You see them as being pushy about their faith. But look at it from their perspective. They love you so much that they are concerned about your eternal soul. So they go overboard with you in talking about it and trying to get you to change your belief about God. Instead of getting mad at them, sit down with them and tell them you appreciate their concern but you just don't believe as they do. And while you appreciate their concern, the constant pushing of their faith on you is irritating. Hopefully they will listen to this.

In my family, I have one brother who is not a Christian. The rest of the family is. We respect his right (his God given right) to choose not to believe. So we do not bombard him with constant reminders that he is a heathen ( :wink: ). Our faith rarely comes up in conversation with him. But on occasions, when life presents a moment to talk religion, we do. He knows it is out of love for him and since we are not "pushy", he accepts it as part of who we are.

They need to realize that "pushing" their faith on anyone is not going to be very successful. Sitting down with them and talking about it may certainly help. But keep in mind that as part of their family and out of love for you, they are concerned about your eternal soul and wish for you to have what they have found.

Anyway, just talk to them. They may not realize how irritating it is to you to be bombarded with constant talk of their faith. (Gosh, sure took me a long time to make that simply point, didn't it?)