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Mon 13 Nov, 2006 07:48 pm
Five years ago, my brother, his wife, and my parents (my whole immediate family, in other words) were just regular catholic people. They were moderately religious. Things were okay. Now, those people are all gone--replaced by a bunch of fanatical born-again christians.
How the hell did this happen?
I just got a card from my mother. Inside was a little pamphlet talking about salvation and jesus and f*cking blah, blah, blah...how the f*ck am I supposed to deal with this? How many f*cking times do I have to say I don't believe in that **** before they will stop trying to f*cking convert me! Goddammit! I know they only wants me to be happy, and this is done with the best intentions, but at the same time, I feel like she doesn't even know who the f*ck I am. It pisses me off, but I won't say anything, because I want to be a good son. It is so FRUSTRATING!!!
This is a really f*cked up situation, isn't it? And I feel guilty even writing this. It can't be good for my mental well-being. But there is no solution. I'm stuck. Family sucks.
Does this mean, you're not going there for Thanksgiving?
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city"--George Burns
I feel your pain kicky. Especially now that my step dad has been diagnosed with cancer my mom has been breathing down my neck relentlessly about praying for him, encouraging him to "seek the lord" and "setting an example for him" by going to church myself. All things I no longer do. Their intentions might be good, but you know... if it's making you that uncomfortable why don't you just talk to her about it? Do you think it would make you a "bad son" in her eyes if you asked her to stop?
Man, that's no good.
I'm glad my family remains the good old kind of Catholic that tells dirty jokes and drinks a little too much wine at the dinner table.
And then of course asks forgiveness next Sunday.
Well, here's hoping your gang snaps out of it.
You know why you feel she doesn't know who you are?
Because she doesn't.
Are you so sure she (and they) want you to be YOUR kind of happy, or do they want you to be the happy of their choosing?
Got a question for you....do you feel like no matter what you do, it's never gonna be enough, or good enough for them to be happy for you?
CalamityJane wrote:Does this mean, you're not going there for Thanksgiving?
No, I'm going. And I'm dreading it. My mother's mother just passed away, and I know this is going to be one of those really religious gatherings. Oh man, I hate this ****.
colorbook wrote:"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city"--George Burns
They are in another city. You know, maybe if I hadn't moved away, I could have prevented this idiocy.
Just take one of these with you and fill it with high potency stuff.
I feel a little fortunate that when I go back home to visit and stay at my folks house, they go to 7:30 mass and let me sleep in. I agree with you that it's extremely frustrating to have anyone shove their religious beliefs down your throut. I wonder if they realize that these constant reminders are probably pushing you further away?
hephzibah wrote:I feel your pain kicky. Especially now that my step dad has been diagnosed with cancer my mom has been breathing down my neck relentlessly about praying for him, encouraging him to "seek the lord" and "setting an example for him" by going to church myself. All things I no longer do. Their intentions might be good, but you know... if it's making you that uncomfortable why don't you just talk to her about it? Do you think it would make you a "bad son" in her eyes if you asked her to stop?
I'm glad to know there are other people out there who know at least part of what I'm going through. Thanks. I have told her a thousand times that I don't want to hear about this stuff. It's useless against this kind of faith. She probably thinks that it's the devil making me say this stuff against my will. Oy.
Re: Why does my family have to be so f*cked up?
kickycan wrote:Five years ago, my brother, his wife, and my parents (my whole immediate family, in other words) were just regular catholic people. They were moderately religious. Things were okay. Now, those people are all gone--replaced by a bunch of fanatical born-again christians.
How the hell did this happen?
I just got a card from my mother. Inside was a little pamphlet talking about salvation and jesus and f*cking blah, blah, blah...how the f*ck am I supposed to deal with this? How many f*cking times do I have to say I don't believe in that **** before they will stop trying to f*cking convert me! Goddammit! I know they only wants me to be happy, and this is done with the best intentions, but at the same time, I feel like she doesn't even know who the f*ck I am. It pisses me off, but I won't say anything, because I want to be a good son. It is so FRUSTRATING!!!
This is a really f*cked up situation, isn't it? And I feel guilty even writing this. It can't be good for my mental well-being. But there is no solution. I'm stuck. Family sucks.
Don't feel guilty...you have a right to vent when they refuse to respect your desire not to be bombarded with their crazy beliefs.
Do you have any idea what happened to make them go like this?
Born agains get told they have to try to make other people nuts, I think, do they not?
Chai Tea wrote:You know why you feel she doesn't know who you are?
Because she doesn't.
Are you so sure she (and they) want you to be YOUR kind of happy, or do they want you to be the happy of their choosing?
You're right. She doesn't know me at all. Of course they don't want me to be MY kind of happy. But they don't want me to be the happy of their choosing either. They want me to be JESUS' kind of happy.
Chai Tea wrote:Got a question for you....do you feel like no matter what you do, it's never gonna be enough, or good enough for them to be happy for you?
This is a question that hurts my head to think about right now. In fact, I'm kind of feeling really bad about this whole thing right now. Maybe I shouldn't have opened this particular can of aggravation tonight. I was so happy all day today too. Dammit.
I work with a guy that thinks he's a prophet, much like Abraham and Moses. Almost daily he has the revelations and "the spirit told me." I know a guy that used to be around us both told him I am an atheist, but it didn't faze him. Every hour he's on the job, I have to hear this ****. That or scream in his face, "Shut your trap, ya jerk." So far, I've born it in silence for about four years.
Stick a shiv in him, edgar.
I would show up to Thanksgiving wearing an Iron Maiden "Number of the Beast" t-shirt. \
Or make up your own shirt that says "Jesus is a pu$$y."
My parents were Catholic and died ten years apart when I was fairly young - father when I was 26, mother when I was 38, though she started downhill with Alzheimer's back when I was 25 or so. My father understood my distancing from religion, and my mother was simply heartbroken and crushed. But, being the kind of family we were, sullen silence was the keynote behavior instead of the talk/bullying method, and that was how we handled the religion thing, my mother and I, that is.
I'm sympathetic. It's hard to remain the thoughtful mature well-spoken individual expressing his own opinions concisely in this kind of situation. What you might write given time to work it out on paper and what you might say on a visit home are apt to be different.
I think you have to be firm and say you won't put up with it, and be firm quietly, and back it up with action. Of course, then you'd have to mean it.
Kicky, keep your chin up. Thanksgiving will be here and gone. Have you considered staying just long enough to be socialable and leave when the religious bombardment starts? I think they'll get the hint that if they want you around that they'll have to go easy on the religion talk.
BTW, How did your date go the other night?
You could always return the saviour sentiment and purchase stationery from your favorite "lefty liberal" type organization such as Save the Baby Seals, Save the Rain Forest, etc., and send them out to the family as holiday cards.
Either that or Slappy's idea, which has merit.
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