Can you fall in love with someone you've never met?

I've been in love with a guy who I've met online also. It lasted for around 7 months, until he changed, and I didn't like the guy he became. (Family member died, he started snapping at me constantly)
So I just ended it then and there. But the thing is... you can fall in love with someone online.. but you just have to hope that the person is the same in person. Some people can be pretending, while others don't. You have to find a way to find out. We talked on the phone constantly and we were planning to meet too. So online love can be real love, because sometimes some men show their true selves in words then actions ( shy guys for example).. but like I said some men... not all. You just gotta be careful. Don't fall for someone who's not worth it.. and who's not falling for you. Make sure he doesnt just want a little fun.. make sure he meants what he says. How do you make sure? Well there isn't just one way.. Try out anything you can, and if things go downhill, then stop before you crash, but if things go uphill, cool. :wink:

You could fall in love with someone you never met like a movie star but it is a fantasy love. It is the looks and the character he/she plays in movies that you get hooked to. You don't really know what they are like till you meet them and get to know them real well. Internet is not the place to fall in love. It is the place to exchange ideas and argue your point. It is a place to help or seek help or advice. It is a place for friendship but not love. Love is a deep commitment whereas friendship is just being neighborly.

Re: Can you fall in love with someone you've never met?


Be very careful. The internet is like an alternate universe where many many people feel like they can be something other than what they really are. It's a veil of sorts that shields them. There are thousands of scammers, liars, and cheats. People with an alterior motive. People who are insecure and socially inept, and that is why they look for love on the internet. They can't do it in real life. Not everyone on the internet is bad. Please don't get me wrong here. But I honestly feel that about 98% of the people that look for love on the internet are there for a reason.

Emotions are very powerful and can sway us to think and believe things that just aren't true. They can blind us completely to brilliant red flags waving right in front of our faces. They can convince us to do things that if we were in a non-emotional state of mind we would be like, "OH H*** NO!" People are just people. Whether in real life or on the internet they just aren't going to show you who they really are until they are ready. The internet provides an avenue to hook someone emotionally before exposing your true self though. Just be careful. Listen to your friends and family about what they say concerning this person and the things you have told them.

Remember they are on the outside of the "relationship" and possibly see things you don't because you are emotionally involved. Don't be afraid to tell people about this person. It is good to have people who can look at things from a different perspective and see things you might not. I know all of this probably sounds pretty harsh. I'm sorry. I have come to the conclusion though that internet dating is probably not the safest way to find a relationship. It is better to meet someone in real life and grow to love them one on one than be dragged emotionally on a roller coaster by someone you've never even met.

personally, i think you can fall in love with someone youve never met. it doesnt mean youll stay in love...in which case it might not be true love...but i think it is possible.

Not unless your definition of love is what puppy love is. I wouldn't go as far to say you're a loser if you fall in love with someone over instant messaging, but I would think that person wouldn't be the most social. I couldn't fall in love with a screen name. Physical chemistry is a huge part of it.

But...but...Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock...

And the Miss Universe crown goes to............Talk72000.

Ah, I see an aspiring Miss Universe contestant! First off, you must consider the swimsuit contest. Now I have a fine eye for beauty and can do a thorough inspection of your birthday suit to check out flaws and match the swimsuit best for competitive display. I am soft to the touch but if roughness is required I am accommodating. Still interested?

You got it wrong. Not an aspiring Miss Universe contestant, an aspiring Miss Universe contest judge.

Sure, but meeting the person will be an enormous let down.

Isn't all romantic love fantasy love? I have found it is reaslly possible to get to know someone very well without actually physically meeting him or her. You don't do that by instant messaging BTW. Once I decide I am interested, I initiate telephone contact and (if it's a guy) I insist that he give me his number. If he only gives you a cell number, that might be a red flag...although many people, especially here, no ,longer maintain home telephone service.

I have high hopes for an LTR with this guy I am meeting next weekend form Monterey (two hour drive) he is definitely falling for me and I am falling for him too, I do believe.

He e-mailed me last night that he was "caught" several timesjust staring into space at work yesterday daydreaming about me. I know him already better than I would know a guy if I dated several times but didn't get "physical." What is weird is that, based on his pics, he is not the kind of guy I would be attrracted to physically, he kinda looks like Benny Hill. But that doesn't matter, I am attracted to his soul not his body.

I have a date tonite with a guy who came up from LA to see me, he is very attractive physically and I am excited but I find myself thinking about Rob in Monterey.

As far as the stuff about being careful, I have evry strong intuition and as long as I trust my intuitive powers, I am fine.

Internet dating is a learned skill, I have established myself a set of rules and set up new rules when I get burned. The only extent to which I have been burned so far is guys just wasting my time. As well as giving too many men my IM address without screening them. It is getting so every time I log in, I get an IM from someone every five minutes!

I got a guy IMing me from Puerto Rico last night who is like 30 years younger and a body builder! I mean where is that realtionship going? Nowhwere. Still they want to chat and fantasize about me. I fall into the trap of leading them on because I like to be flattered. It is absolutely amazing to have a young hunk admiring me but it's not reality.

It's really not that all "amazing."

I met a troll who told me she got 100 responses from a personal ad online.

If you have a vagina, and make it seem like not a lot of effort will be needed to f*ck, you'll get plenty of responses. Doesn't mean you're in line to win Ms. Universe.

Perhaps the plastic surgeon who reconstructed Roxxxanne's vagina, did exceptional work on her.

I'm in love with Hugh Laurie at the present time, but, then I've been in and out of love with for several years. Reality is just too much.

Thanks all you guys..sorry I haven't responded for like AGES...

Righty, let's see... The Roleplaying thing...yes, I can safely say I WAS a little/very addicted to it, but now the only reason I'm sticking with it is because this guy is on there... He's SO sweet, and he talks to me like I wouldn't imagine him to talk to anyone else, eg telling me troubles he's having with his family and stuff...which was a little random last night... But that's why we get on so well, we're both so RANDOM! He actually likes me for who I am and I like him for who he is.. He's really genuine, in that way when you know someone is being genuine and not pretending to be genuine...

There's this thing about him which suggests he's not just pretending to be someone he's not. What I know of him is just so reassuring; he has really

Oh, and that's another thing, in pictures I've seen of him, he's not really the sort of guy I'd go for IRL, I like him for his personality and just how light-hearted he is.... It makes me feel good to talk to him, because I've said some REALLY stupid things before, yet he says that's a reason he likes me, because I say these things which are completely weird, but that's just my personality...

It may sound a bit feeble, but it's really important to me...

People other than me do know him vaguely, they don't talk to him as much as me, and he's a little more open with me aswell, but my best friend HATES anyone who talks to me, or who I have an 'interest' in... There's this other guy I talk to, who is practically in love with me, he's really obsessive, but nice; not the sort that would stalk, thank goodness... But my best friend HATES him... He knows how I feel about the guy this thread is about though, and agrees that he's the only person we'd both actually be interested in meeting, and trust the most. He's just so genuine and consistent when he talks to anyone...

However, the other week I hadn't spoken to him in ages, then he comes online and we got chatting again and he said basically that he'd replaced me with this other girl, who lives in America and is therefore online around his time...

That hurt me so much and we sort of had a bit of a falling out...

So, I started to get into this frame of mind to get over him; figured I wasn't as important to him as he is to me... Then, a few days later he posted this really beautiful and funny post on my myspace, which made me feel way better... But I'm still in this frame of mind that I shouldn't put so much love into this person I don't even know likes me back; now he's the one coming online and still saying all the sweety stuff and I'm just not as bothered...Yet I still feel oddly pulled to him, as if there could be something there, but I was trying to push it too fast and too hard.

Just a sidenote to those people who insist meeting online and online dating is for saddos, you are SO wrong...it's much nicer to get to talk to someone first, judge their character and everything without the distraction of actually seeing them. Getting to know people before you see them can be much nicer, it's better to fall in love with a personality than someone's looks...

Admiring a person -- or some aspect of a person, like their writing ability or acting talent -- is often akin to being in love with them. You feel that little rush just thinking about them. So, I think many people fall a little in love with people they don't know all the time. Furthermore, I think it is basically healthy. Now, I don't mean those nut cases who stalk celebrities. I mean a little day dream now and again. There is nothing like a tiny day dream during a boring commute or during the toilet bowl scrub to make every thing a bit nicer.

For various reasons, I wasn't around boys much in my teens, until I got a job after school at 16. Between thirteen and sixteen, I was in love with a character in a book, and with a then nationally famous football player, and at this point I don't remember who else. This was a long time before the internet. I think fantasy has a role for an adolescent and for an adult in various stages, but - it can be part of growth, personally, or a shunt to eternal non reality.

The internet seems tricky to me, for the vulnerable..

That's what I mean, osso, however, not the part about the internet, because almost all of the men that I met through the internet have disappointed me.

When I was in high school, I realized that I was supposed to have a crush on one of the boys. So, I decided to have a crush on the guy that turned out to be our valedictorian. Did I have a crush on him? No. But, he was tall, somewhat funny in an adolescent boy way, had a great work ethic and was intelligent.

During my senior year, I fell into vicarious love with junior boy who did a "newspaper" on one corner of the blackboard in the room where I had my English class. He was so smart, funny and left of center, that I had to fall for him.

When I figured out who he was, I did find him physically attractive and we went out once or twice. However, he decided he was in love with me and my mother thought you either went to college or married. There was no puppy love in her book, so, I walked away from that relationship.

On one level, my leaving was fair. I admired him but did not love him.

The other thing is that once we graduated, Mr. Valedictorian also decided that he was a little in love with me. By then, I felt he was someone I grew up with.

The first man I loved was actually from my neighborhood and went to the public high school, although he and his family were members of the same Catholic parish as mine were. I used to watch him every Sunday for years (he was very homely and my mother convinced me that only a homely guy would be interested in me). I sort of "scoped" him out, as we said then. National Honor Society, track star whose records would stand for 10 years, National Merit Scholarship winner. Just what I always looked for. I met him just after graduation, while he was attending CalTech. My parents broke that one up! Called him a professional student. Said you didn't have to go to college to go to medical school and I couldn't convince them otherwise.

Anyway, we dated on and off for six years. He married at 24 or 25 and left her a year later, although neither of them felt the need to divorce. He moved to California where, seven years later, after contacting me again, he met his second wife the weekend after he sent a letter to me.

They're still married and living in North Carolina where he and a few other doctors founded a hospital.

I still love him...*sigh*

This is true because it happened to me. Just be careful not to invest all your emotions with that person bcuz you might end up hurting your feelings. Just take it easy and don't take it seriously.