I'm confused about men - again

Take a look at what you have been doing over the past 2 weeks. Have you actually been dating and having a good time in each others company. Or, have you been providing what he is looking for in other ways?

If it is the former - Good.

If it is the latter - You have your answer.

Good luck to you.

Bit of both Intrepid. I see what you mean. Thank you.

x

I'm usless at giving advice on this type of thing, DP, so I won't...... but I really hope it all works out for you.

thanks g-d

x

Two weeks isn't really long enough to know someone well. Be aware that your beautiful body may be more attractive to this guy than your fine mind--and enjoy learning more about him.

thanks noddy

x

DP -- I'm a firm believer in gut instincts. If you think he's looking for a piece, then he probably is. Slow it down, if that makes you more comfortable, two weeks is nothing.

Maybe planning events with you, the beau, and your daughter will shed some light.

Yeah you are right, 2 weeks IS nothing. Thanks JPB, do you think it's ok to let him meet my daughter if I am not sure of his intentions though? (I am not looking for a new dad for my lttle girl-she has a good relationship with my ex-partner)

x

I would think so, as long as whatever you plan is focussed about him meeting her rather than her meeting him.

How old is she?

she's 7. Any suggestions for scenarios?

x

You don't know for sure that sex is all he's interested in. Seems to me he went to great effort for you on your first two dates... I think you may be anicipating insincerity as you have not had a good experience in past relationships.

It must be hard for you to be hopeful and open your heart and trust again. It will be a tragedy if you were to become embittered and clad your heart in iron. Sure you may get a little scar tissue on it - we all have it. But you have to be calm, don't jump to conclusions, wait and find out for sure - then if you ARE sure he is that superficial, just end it and carry on with your life.

All men are not like that. Most men are decent and have emotions and feeling just like us - they are not from Mars, they have the same hopes, same insecurities, same scar tissue.

Life is like THIS DP, the good and the bad. But it's still great, and we learn hard lessons along the way. But keep your heart and mind open to new things, people and possibilities. I know it's an old saying but DO count your blessings. There are lots of good things around you... it's we just forget to notice them. Take care of yourself DP, don't rush into anything and hold your dominion.

M
x

Let me expand that some... there is a HUGE difference between inviting him to the park to meet your daughter within her comfort zone vs letting her tag along on a date (dinner, movie, whatever). If you have concerns about his appreciation for the fact that you have a child then invite him to join in with your child in an event that's about her and see how he handles it, rather than look to see how he handles an 'intrusion' on a date that's about the two of you.

Just don't feel like strong enough for another disappointment right now. Sounds pathetic but just can't trust anyone.

You can trust me, Dorothy. Shall I come over?

Yes please Gus, and can you bring chocolate?

x

Yes. Yes, I will bring chocolate. And we will sing and dance the night away.

DP--



Given a choice between a two-week disappointment and a nearly-committed disappointment, I'd take the short-term disillusionment every time.

Dating mothers have a complicated life. You don't want your daughter to get used to a man in case that man isn't a keeper. On the other hand, you don't want to get used to a man and find out that he's not interested in a ready-made family.

I assume your daughter comes first? Let him know that--tactfully, of course-- and see whether that fact clarifies his intentions.

Two weeks isn't enough time to "trust" anyone. You and this man have had some good times, but would you lend him $5000 dollars on a handshake? Isn't your heart worth more than $5000?

No it isn't

x

Now that's what I call an honest answer.