I have a feeling he's getting ready to leave me!!

Is it possible that he would have thought that you would be mad about him talking to his cousin?

The running off with the phone for calls, the deleting of the call log. The being out with "friends" that i never saw. The putting off the marriage. The wanting a separation, then not wanting one, then wanting one again are all things that i have seen recently. In my case it didn't turn out well.

I do hope your case turns out better.

In the event that he again decides that he wants a separation your idea of ...

"I'll make sure my contact with him is minimal! If he don't go crazy wondering what's going on with me pretty darn quick, I'll be suprised. And sad. But I think it would have to be done that way."

would appear to be the correct way to go.

I'm sorry Swimpy. It's no made up story! I assure you! Even the best of fiction never has this much detail. I may be in a situation that can't be remedied in every way, but we can't always get that anyway. I try to just take each day as it comes, and just deal with that one day. Because that's all we really know we have for sure. One of these days there won't be a tomorrow. I'd be driving myself crazy if I worried about all the things that may never happen anyway. I'm pretty low strung, a calm easy-going girl. MEDICATED (RX's for depression & PTSD) but that's okay. It works for me. Because of the obvious stress I've caused here, I'm not even going to go into my oldest sons situation. But, like I always tell him, (I read this somewhere) "You might as well smile, tomorrow might be worse."

Oh, & to answer S T, The "friend" was his female cousin Carrie. It was her that didn't want me to know she was talking to him about this because she thought I'd be mad at HER. She & I aren't close, per say, but we just don't know each other very well. And we co-mingle at family get togethers & such. She thought there might be hard feelings about it, but there's not.

I don't mind participating if I can ever get stuff clear, and this particular thread is - to me - too mixed up for me to try to shape up, re post and whichever dilemma.

You might start a new one, Jm, differentiating yourself from your sister or purported sister, summarizing for us what is going on to date.

That might be a good idea. But, probably not tonight. I'm just beat!

"A ship in the harbor is safe, but that's not what ships were built for!"

why not to stop playing this "pekaa-boo" game and ask him straight about everything and tell him how u feel?
Or am I very naive and people with experience do not act this way? Because, whenever I have doubts about anything, I come straight to the person, trying not to hurt his/her feelings and ask him/her "Dear, It might be me or I am not sure, but lately I've been noticing this and that. And I would like to hear what u think of this..."

I did ask him about it, he just wasn't ready to talk yet. When he finally opened up, all he wanted to do is lift the date of the wedding! He said he never wanted to leave, he was afraid I'd kick him out when he told me.
He's still here & everything is back to normal, just no actual date set for the wedding
anymore. That's okay, no hurry, & no more worry
Thanks!

awesome!