Shewolf's Bean

Oh, Shewolf! Oh, Bean!

How awful! I wish I could do something!

I will say a special prayer for Jillian, and another for you and Ian.

Just keep repeating, "It was only the eyelid, not the eye. It was only the eyelid, not the eye........."

Deep breaths, sweetheart.

Sending lots of calming, positive thoughts your way.

Breathe breathe breathe.

You've gotta take care of yourself to take care of the Bean.

Breathe breathe breathe

My thoughts are with you. It breaks my heart to see a young one suffer.

Aaaawww!

Oh, wow. How scary, how awful. Poor little Jillian. I'm sure she's very scared and confused. Please hug her for me. I'm thinking of you three, and hoping for fast healing and rest for you all.

Ugg...poor baby.

I'd rather take a few whacks to the head with a 2x4 than to see one of my kids suffer. It's heartbreaking.

I cut my eyelid when I was in my early 20's...besides the pain, nothing came of it..it healed. I hope the same for the bean.

I'll save my cut story for one of those...."Hey Look How Stupid I Am Threads"...heh.

Jeez! Poor little baby! Hang in there, Shewolfnm.

It is amazing what a full nights sleep will do for you.

I got 7 hours of sleep last night with no interruptions.

I woke up this morning thinking about photographing Beans eye so I would have it among all of her other life milestones and 'happenings'.

SO, since Im thinking about the camera i MUST be ok. ;-)

There is no physical damage to her eyeball.
Meaning no cuts .
There very well may be damage to its function. And that would not have been something they would have kept her in the hospital for. Because the only way to find out was to do an eye exam, and the doctor said that they could not justify her staying in the ER for that. Nor would they check her into the hospital.
It would have to be something that was done when the medication was metabolized, and the swelling was gone.

his concern, my concern, is that the muscles may have been damaged.
Or, possibly the eyeball itself.

If you take your left pinky,
place it at the complete outter edge of your eye at the farthest part of your eye socket .
Move your finger twords your nose just enough to where you dont feel any more bone under your finger, and push a little bit.
THAT is where she got hit.

Her eyeball absorbed most of the impact. And it is very possible there is internal damage / muscular damage, that just isnt apparent yet due to the high amounts of swelling.

If you push enough on your eye in that spot, you can see a loss of color/ feel a loss of blood flow, and you can feel that connection from y our eyeball to the center of your head.
What you feel are your optic nerves.
The doctor said that those are not very strong, and , unless they are torn apart , the only way you can truly tell if something is wrong is if

1) the person SAYS they cant focus / it tingles / I cant see this or that.. etc

2) it is physicaly possible to SEE that someone cant focus.

Since Jillian can not say " I cant see right, I cant see colors, I cant focus" etc...

it is only a matter of time before anyone can really tell with out some truly expencive tests.
Since there is no obvious physical damage to the eye ball, she will not get those tests. And for good reason, im sure.

So, the waiting game begins .

Last night, she was so tired she fell asleep in my arms. She never does that!
And I got a good look at the work they did with the stitches.

if you look closely, you can tell it is in a T shape, but just at regular glance, it looks like a small bunch of feather stitches.
I doubt she will have alot of scarring, and he kept the stitches as close to the outside of the lid as humanly possible to avoid irritation on her eyeball .

She had a great team of doctors and nurses working on her.

Im still plagues with nightmares about her little body on that medication.
I dont think I can ever handle watching her on that stuff again.
It was a paralytic ( Im probally spelling it wrong, and spell check doesnt recognize the word)

It takes away strength from your muscles and puts you in a semi-sleep state.
Basically, when someone was touching her , they were able to hold her down with the weight of a feather it seemed..
When she was NOT being held, she was as strong as an ox.
When they were finally done with the stitches, Ian and I were by her on the bed, and she was twisting and turning in strange ways.

One arm would go up, the other would bend.
Her shoulders would twist the opposite way from her hips.
She was shoving her head back into the bed and pushing her heels into the bed so hard, she lifted her buttocks off the bed.
All the while maintaining the twisted arms and strange red face.

It was like watching someone have a Grand mal in slow motion.

She kept making strange noises in her gut and her eyes were going in opposite directions.

Above all else, that was the worst thing to see. And that is truly what made it a bad experience.

She had this behavior even at home.. though not NEARLY the same as she did in the hospital.
At home , she was just tired and sluggish, then all of a sudden her eyes would roll around, or her legs would move in a strange way.
Or her arm would go right out in front of her and she would have no control.
She couldnt walk, and could hardly hold herself up.

>sigh<

Wednesday/thursday is when the stitches come out.

One week after that we go see her regular doctor and figure out if/and what tests need to be done on her eye.

This morning, her eye is slightly lower then her other one, but not nearly as bad as it was yesterday.
And.. again.. that my just be from swelling. who knows.

thanks for your words and well wishes. We sure do need them.

Still sending prayers for a complete recovery.

Glad you got some decent sleep, shewolf, you all need it.

Sleep improves the world no end.

Hold your dominion.

Getting a good night's sleep was the most important thing you could have done.

Shewolf, I think you'll be able to tell pretty quickly if her focus is off as it will effect the way she moves through familiar spaces. I had a pretty serious injury to my eyes when I was about 5 years old and even after the physical damange had healed my parents could tell that something was not "right". Give her some time to heal but keep an eye on how she navigates - that will tell you a lot.

Happy thoughts to Bean.

Well wishes and care-vibes to Bean and the both of you..

Shewolf
Just discovered the news about the Bean's accident. Mom and Dad are a wreck, but the Bean is healing. Sending big smooches to you and the Bean.

BBB

Thanks so much for keeping us posted, Shewolf. I'm glad you got some sleep. Good medicine, for everyone.



I can well imagine. Hugs.

I do hope all is well - maybe you could do your own testing with making a game of shutting one eye at a time and saying what is clearest to see, looking at her favourite toys? and 'is this the same colour as this?' with one eye at a time???? or is she altogether too young even for that? (after the stitches come out and the swelling has gone down more)

I do notice her bumping into things

and my nerves are shot because of it.

She seems to not see things on her left side, but then again.. the swelling is kind of bad and her eye lid is low from it, so it very well could just be from her fat little eyelid. Sort of giving her a 'blind spot'

I will take pictures..
that will help with the visual.

quite dark, but you get the idea.
her eye is swelled up pretty bad

and you can make out the T shape where the hole was its biggest.

Ack, its scary. Hope bean's eyes will soon recover and enlighten the world!

prayers are winging your way

The photo just looks like a black square to me, shewolf.

I would expect her to be a bit off visually for a bit. She'll probably knock into things for a few weeks just healing. I wouldn't worry too much about that right now.

How does Bean seem to be feeling today?