Is it just me or...

You guys don't have to worry about being too harsh with me. I personally hate confrentations. I will go out of my way not to be in them. I hate fighting with him but he LOVES to push buttons with me. The problem with him is he thinks the name calling and telling me how I should be doing things is helping me. Him calling me a bitch doesn't bother me because I was calling people a bitch since I learned to talk.

I absolutely agree with GW.

This guy's main problem is not depression. Depression doesn't make you want to control others. Depressed people don't have the energy to continually fight. Depressed people don't intentionally push others' buttons. Depression doesn't make you call other people names. Depression doesn't cause someone to make scenes in public. Depression doesn't make you insist on your own way.

This guy's main problem is that he doesn't know how to love.

And unfortunately, you can't teach him that, kitkat. Nobody can. He just doesn't have it in him.

Here's the classic definition of love. I'm sure you know where it comes from. Ask yourself if this describes his behavior toward you.

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right....and so on.

I understand you have to stay until you have tried everything you can. Only then can you leave with a clear conscience. I just hope, for your sake, that doesn't take too much longer.

Meanwhile, there's no point in coming here to complain about his behavior if you're just going to turn around and defend him. What do you expect us to say after the things you've written?

I think I've said everything I have to say about this, kitkat.

Good luck.

I have heard before I married that marriage is a 75/25 proposition, and the little number represents me. Case closed.

cicerone imposter wrote:

I have heard before I married that marriage is a 75/25 proposition, and the little number represents me. Case closed.

I think marriage needs to be 100/100 for it to really work.

...do the fights between married people get stranger over time?

. . . Ok so this was last wednesday and I was having a really REALLY crappy day. . . . (school, nails)

On my way home my husband calls me and tells me to pick up dishwashing soap. I tell him I'm tired, exhausted, recovering from a bad day, and the only thing I want to do is get home and relax. He then demands that I go get it and tells me that he just did all this cleaning up at the house while I was gone, so I need to go get it now. I said firmly that I would swing by tommorrow and pick some up on the way home from school.

One thing lead to another and we broke out into this huge argument over him calling me a lazy bitch who does nothing but sit on my ass all day . . . .

You obviously don't respect your husband enough to go out of your way for him--you'll stop to have your nails done, but you won't stop for dish soap even though you know that would make him happy. You don't respect him, so he doesn't respect you and he calls you names.

You know, you really take the cake, you know that?

Debra_Law wrote:

You obviously don't respect your husband enough to go out of your way for him--you'll stop to have your nails done, but you won't stop for dish soap even though you know that would make him happy. You don't respect him, so he doesn't respect you and he calls you names.

Wow....if you even knew an ounce about me you wouldn't be saying to me what you are saying. You can't even comprehend what I have sacrificed to be with him, and let me just say that what I have sacrificed is a little bit more substantial than dish soap. I don't mean to be rude but reading your comment makes me laugh absurdidly when I think of all the things I have sacrificed for him. Telling you all that I have done for him would take up three pages in itself, whereas telling you what he has sacrificed for me would barely fill a paragraph.