How to re-kindle/ save love from the past

you can't save it......done deal

Unfortunately, if she hasn't responded, it most likely means she's not interested.

Welcome to A2K Johnny.

How much time has passed since your last email to her? If more then a week, you might think about sending her a light-hearted ecard (or Hallmark if you have her address) saying something like 'it was great seeing you again, hope we can keep in touch" Don't add anything else to it.

That will remind her of you without overwhelming her. If she doesn't respond to that then you probably have an unspoken answer from her.

Your drunkenness might of put her off. I don't think it was quite the impression you were hoping to give her when meeting her again. If she does respond to your card, it will be up to you to overcome that impression you left her with. Just don't obsess on it. Words help, but actions speak the loudest.

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to say....it's probably done. For one, she was only a casual hook-up. It was two months. Second, when you saw her, you shouldn't have told her how you missed her..instead, you should have just heavily flirted with her while acting "indifferent" to her reaction at the same time. Once a female knows a male will do anything for her, in her mind you're a typical "chump" she can walk all over...you leave no challenge. Does that make sense? I'm not going to get into the different ways to do this. You've got to work on your "game." You've got to realize women are ATTRACTED to guys who front a challenge to them, someone who's "different" then the rest...that's why they say "nice guys finish last."

Women don't want the "nice guy" who's fallen in love with them after a 2 month fling. You should have just taken control of the situation and taken her home last time you saw her. Ask yourself a question: when you first "got her," did you do it by acting overly romantic(like you tried last time seeing her=dumped), or because it was a spur of the moment/fun thing....I'll bet it wasn't because you told her how much you liked her! She DIDN'T fall in love with you! Women speak with thier actions, not with thier words! Telling her you love her didn't work...because she wanted you to be an "alpha male," be a man, and just make it happen, rather then try to win her over with the sappy talk...even if that's how you really feel.

Ok, I'm done with my 1/2 lesson that you may not understand, and every woman here will bash me for. IF you email her, you've got to do something to get her attention...say something like "HEY! I ran into someone that knows you from school! They had some crazy stories about you! What's your #, I'll tell you all about it! LOL" Then make something up once you talk to her...seriously, you can't bring up "emotions" again, you'll kill any chance you have left. Once you start talking to her(if she gives you her contact info), don't act like you're dying to see her, play it cool, try to set up a coffee/beer date...tell her up front you want to be friends, then flirt with her after...act confident, funny, like you've got a life, and keep the attitude in your head she should be chasing YOU, not the other way around. Bust on her, tease her, just have fun. If you play it right, you might be able to get her naked again. Good luck!

If it doesn't work out...who cares??? Learn some new skills and take it out on the next female! I'm off to bed...by myself

response
That is EXACTLY right. I used to preach this mantra myself. I totally got all wrapped up in this "you are the one" stuff. Its like the second a girl knows she can have you easy, she thinks you aren't worth it...

Re: response


What a load of crap!

If this is your experience, perhaps the problem is that you are still dating girls rather then women.

It sounds like he's pretty young, himself, butrflynet. (24 or so?)

I dunno, with this stuff I always tend toward "what's the harm?" So you drop her a line, and she says nothing -- big whoop. Maybe she accidentally deleted your email. Maybe she was in the middle of something then and now is available. Maybe she just wanted you to stew. But why not find out?

Unless you get into, like, stalking, I don't think she'd really MIND getting more evidence that you think she's great.

Totally agree with Slappy's last paragraph. I think. ("Take it out"?) I think that was the longest post I've ever seen from Slappy. Wow.

I have to agree with Slappy. I have let some of the nicest guys slip through my fingers simply because it was too easy. Of course I'm speaking from when I was much younger, but when I read what Slappy wrote, I was reading about myself and he's absolutely right. I know that speaking for myself only that if a guy was too excited to see me and please me, then it scared me off big time, which is why I ended up mostly with jerks. I am older and wiser today, but all the nice guys have already been taken or are much too young for me :-(

Sozobe
I agree. That is the longest response I've ever seen from Slappy, LOL!

slappy doo hoo
Hey Slappy,

Thanks a bunch. Honestly that was the exact advice I was looking for, and the first time I heard it.

johnnysmith, slappy is only partially correct and besides, he's talking about the kind of women he's dealt with. ( apologies, slappy, but the majority of your posts are in the range freshman college 101, the first semester away from home) if you have slept with this woman then you are further along then you think. also, women do like to hear from the guy they've been seeing for two months that they love them. i would be sceptical if you told her you loved her after a few dates, but hell, two months is an acceptable amount of time, especially if the two of you did the hula.

can you fill us in on what she is like, i.e., what the internship was, what her career goals are, family, etc.? that may help in providing an angle to reapproach her. also, what do you do, and how does this tie in with her?

i don't think this relationship is dead, persistence can often pay off.

Hi Gala,

Thanks for the advice. The relationship the woman (girl) I speak of was honestly one of the most amazing things I (and she at that moment at least) have ever experienced. The internships were in Washington DC. She comes from a home with a single mother and has been pretty much in a hurry to become a professional to help her family. I come from a family She went on to a state school, graduated in three years and is now in law school in Florida. I, although 2 years older, graduated in four years from an Ivy-League type school (not in a hurry) and have been trying to make it in film. She is much more professional tracked than I am at the moment, but things like that don;t seem important at this point. The other bad thing is that I am in the Northeast and she is in Florida, which makes the whole 'natural' aspect of dating difficult. I have always just wanted to keep things happily in touch, and if I find myself in Florida, maybe take things further.

Gala
I must be Slappy's type then!

Johnny, you have described classic alcoholic behaviour. Think about it.

That's well nigh a very feckless diagnosis.

Craven, on occasions "nice" is "nice" but having read Johnny's tale It would be feckless to not speak as I did. Getting drunk on important personal occasions is such a strong indicator of alcoholism that those over 21 who do it more than once are well advised to have had their last drink.

I both disagree with your criteria and think it's irresonsible to give online diagnosis so recklessly.

I do not think it is feckless to not speak when you do not have enough information to give an informed opinion.

Craven,

It is not a diagnosis. I suggested he think about it as I would to anyone who told me that tale. The behaviour is very indicative and I think johnny has a right to know. Unfortunately, it is the type of thing friends rarely speak of even when it's glaringly obvious.
This guy was asking for help. He seems smart enough to work out where he stands with the girl. It occurred to me he might well be more bothered by the way he brought about the situation.
Yes I am the overly inclusive type who tries to think round corners and up spirals. Maybe you'll understand why when I post my occupation