Why God created men...

LOL you would think I would know that by now, huh?

I find that the three best things in life are a whisky before and a cigar after.

well, you managed to pull that one off...

What do you mean Chai?

Uh huh... I thought so.

uh.....lord, a little help?




hep - we need to send you to the School of the Double Entendre....

I'm personally teaching a class in "speaking with disdain"

No help necessary. You've made your point loud and clear. Have a nice day. :wink:

you know, I should be riding your horse, our colors match...I think he could rub off on me.

Hmmm... now that you meantion it. I didn't realize that before until you pointed it out. That's kinda cool.

That was a joke hep....

Boy does my sense of humor suck today or what?... LOL *sigh*

I will kindly excuse myself from the humor forum for now... Sorry guys.

Heph, you are lovely the way you are.

Mind you, if I were twenty five and single, I wouldn't mind having a go at corrupting you.


If I could remember how to do it.

LOL Thanks LE. Though 25 seems like just a spring chicken to me now... in some ways... hehehe...

oops. I forgot I was excusing myself... Oh boy...

Yes, I've done both those jar tricks, however, my man needs to fell needed and he just loves to show his strength off.

Aaah - Such simple loveable creatures.

Linkat, I'll bet that you wouldn't want to be without him. We are annoying, but totally loveable most of the time.


Once a man, twice a child. Methinks women are only jealous, really.

I am jealous - I really wish I could be so simple - life would be much easier. Unfortunately some one needs to be an adult in the family.

Men are definately annoying, but because of their child-like behavior and minds they can be found to be loveable and very frequently amusing.

You sound just like my wife.

I have made a supreme effort to grow up recently, you'll be pleased to hear.


Gotta go, my wife is due back soon, and I have to arrange the old bucket of water above the door trick.

LOL that is SO true! Yes, they can be. *sigh*

I prefer to call them priceless...

1 a : having a value beyond any price : INVALUABLE b : costly because of rarity or quality : PRECIOUS
2 : having worth in terms of other than market value
3 : delightfully amusing, odd, or absurd

hehehe...

62 reasons why cucumbers are better than men (R)

1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long.
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count.
4. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited.
5. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
9. With a cucumber you can get a single room and ... you won't have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'.
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat.
12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home.
13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.
14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival.
15. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?'
16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin.
17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin.
18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin.
19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall.
21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups.
22. Cucumbers won't ask: 'Am I the best', 'How was it?' 'Did you come?', 'How many times?'
23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser.
24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one.
25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over.
27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber.
28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law
& Sister, after ******* it.
29. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.
31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent.
34. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.
35. Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
36. A cucumber will never give you a hickey.
37. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have to sleep
in the wet spot.
38. A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink.
39. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.
40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor.
42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
43. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest.
44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on or hairspray.
45. Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
46. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.
47. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in the shower.
48. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
49. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold.
50. Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with long hair.
51. A cucumber will never leave you for another man, another woman or another cucumber.
52. You will always know where your cucumber has been.
53. A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'.
54. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
55. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
56. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
57. You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your cucumber.
58. A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve.
59. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.
60. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.
61. It's easy to drop a cucumber.
62. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anythin.