God help me, I'm one of THEM

I completely agree with that. I may have trouble implementing sometimes, but it is one of the things I love about parenting.

I don't know , now that I have read more, my antennaie are going up. Why do you need to sign her up for Anything at 4-5 yrs old?!
It sort of makes me laugh. She's not even in 'real' school yet.

Like, really, why do you want to 'add' soccer to 'that list'? And what is 'that list'? Are you talking about organized activities your kid likes or is involved in? Or are you talking about imaginary checkmarks in your head of a running list of achievements your kid can hold up later?

I don't ask to be an azzhole. You made the thread - just wondering if you notice this tendency at other times and if it concerns you? Are you a competitive or driven person yourself?

Here's the valid concern and why I feel the need to speak up:
The trend I see nowadays of many parents feeling this need to 'sign em up' for every which thing. The parents working tonnes, or busy running the kids around to stupid inane activities, never stopping.

She liked foolin' with gymnastics.....so you need to sign her up right away next year? Really.......why?!

I'm sorry if I sound judgemental. I don't know how many activities you have this kid signed up for. I don/t know anything beyond your rant in the thread and subsequent posts.

Just another perspective, okay.

The list was of things she's interested in, though, not the things she's doing.

I dunno. I totally agree about the overscheduled kid thing, as does FreeDuck, which I know because it's a theme that keeps coming up in parenting discussions we have here. I just don't see anything particularly alarming in what she's described. So far, she's talked about ballet classes (maybe current), and two sessions of soccer class, which will not continue. The rest has been family activities (swimming) and possible future activities (gymnastics).

I wonder what you guys think these classes are like? Sozlet is in one right now, a ballet class. She LOVES it. She has become friends there with a kid who she will be going to kindergarten with, which helps so much in terms of the transition. We moved here about a year and a half ago, and these kinds of things help so much with meeting people. I know that FreeDuck's family moved even more recently, and while she hasn't said so, I wonder if that's part of her thinking, too.

At any rate, the ballet class is 45 minutes, one day a week. The rest of the week we're hanging out, almost entirely unscheduled, doing this and that. One class doesn't come even close to approaching any of the overburdened, overscheduled craziness that is definitely a problem with today's kids.

But even if it's two classes, or *gasp* three -- what's the problem, exactly? There are all kinds of good things about them. 4-year-olds vary, but mine was/is intensely social, and we were stymied by the fact that there are pretty much no kids around in our neighborhood during the day. I grew up in a neighborhood and an era where I was shooed out the door to play with neighbor kids. I WISH I could do that with sozlet, but there ain't nobody around. We go to playgrounds and the zoo and such and she loves that, but it's also really important to her to have repeated social contact with people she'll know she'll see again.

Competitiveness et al is really so not the point with any of this. FreeDuck mentioned that they don't even keep score at soccer.

Like I said earlier, we live in a place where she can't just go outside and play. She needs physical activity (as does my son). When they participate in activities at the Y they meet other kids who live around here and will (do) go to school with. As I said before, ideally we would live in a neighborhood where the kids could just roam about and play whatever they wanted. But we don't. When we get the program schedule from the Y, I run the different activities by them and see if they're interested. Sometimes they choose something, sometimes they don't.



The list of things she is interested in and enjoys doing. I hope it gets to be very long by the time she is my age but no, I'm not counting them or checking them off of a list.



I see that trend too and I'm mindful that it could turn into that if it somehow stops being just for fun and exploration, or if I schedule them for too many things at one time. But she's not doing all of these things at once -- even if I wanted her to, I don't have time for that. They last for 6 to 8 weeks at a stretch and they are all YMCA (read non-competitive) activities, with the exception of dancing, which she does at preschool.



Because she likes it and wants to keep doing it, and I don't happen to own gymnastics equipment. Why not?

Er... jinx? ;-)

Yeah, I was going to mention the moving thing, which is definitely a factor. Another factor is that she goes to a preschool that is next to my work, which is 45 minutes away. Needless to say, the kids she knows there are not neighborhood kids. Signing her up for things closer to home makes it more likely she will meet up with kids she'll go to school with or who live nearby for play dates.

And yeah, these classes at the Y are less than an hour long, one day a week. The soccer games were half an hour, 4 or 5 kids to a team, no goalies, and coaches and parents are allowed on the field. No practices, just show up and watch the little kid mobs follow the ball. They don't even stop play if the ball goes out of bounds.

I have goals for my children for sure, but they are abstract things like, a love of learning, enjoyment of physical activity, social awareness and ability to solve problems. They don't involve being a ballerina or an expert soccer player.

Nah, you got in some things I missed.

Yep, that specific point makes a big difference, same with us -- sozlet's preschool is awesome and actually very close but on the border between this school district and the next, and she is the only one in her preschool class who will be starting kindergarten in this district. The kid from ballet and some others she met last year at cheerleading (who she doesn't know as well) will be the only familiar faces.

Not really relevant to the discussion at hand, but...
I coached youth soccer at the younger ages in our in-town rec league.
We did not keep score.
But almost every parent knew what the score was.
<sigh>

End of digression

Yeah, that sucks. Haven't encountered it yet, not looking forward to it. (The whole over-competitive parent thing.)

Or worse yet, the over-competitive coach thing.
That can get really ugly.

holy crikkies. shrug.

Perhaps I just don't understand completely where you are coming from. The moving part makes it make a little more sense.

I suppose it is ...different...to my mind, is all. I did not grow up, nor have I raised, a kid in an environment where they need to be constantly brought places for activities/socialization.

whatever. Do your thing. This thread is like being thrown to the piranas.

sheesh. Parents can be ruthless.

I saw that at my son's AYSO soccer games a year ago in PA. Some parents would even try to stack their team with just-turned 6 year-olds (U6). I haven't seen that in Y leagues at all yet. It's just one more thing I love about the Y. I should go add that to my "why I love the YMCA" thread.

Hey hey, flushd, don't run away.

I actually agree with you. I wasn't raised that way either. But we just don't have the same environment right now, and we're doing the best we can with what we have. It beats parking them in front of the tube all day.

flushd, but you're saying things like "constantly brought places for socialization" when we're talking about less than 45 minutes a week. 45 minutes is "constantly"?

I'm b*tchy tonight, and when I get that way I tend to generalize all to hell.

Constantly. WTF am I talking about?!

Sorry girls, I'm half-involved in trying to say what I mean here and contribute in a well intentioned way, and half-in my own little world.

I do understand the situation is more complicated than I am reacting to here.

No worries, I know the feeling.

And I totally agree with your main point. We've railed against "overparenting" here plenty, definitely bothers me.

Hey, I don't exactly get any awards for best communicator either, if this thread is any indication. It's all good.

Just for the record, FreeDuck and I are not the same person.

:-D

Cool. Thanks for understanding. Hope whatever-needs-clearing-up for you, Freeduck, gets worked out.
Or you get the vent you need.
"Cause, hey, sometimes we just need to vent, too.