how crazy is this I mean its insane why am i considering it

Are you considering a marriage, or a financial merger? When I was young, my next door neighbor was married to a guy whose father was wealthy. The old man had a say in just about everything in their lives. I used to see the father come to my neighbor's house every Saturday morning, early, to "see the kids".

My neighbor would have loved to have some quiet time with her husband and kids, but there was father-in-law, "Johnny on the spot". When I asked her why she could not tell him not to come so early, and without asking if it were convenient, she replied that she could not say "no" to him. "After all" she said, "He paid for the house"!

Second story- My son was seeing a woman who had another boyfriend. She wanted to leave her boyfriend for my son, but the boyfriend was very rich, and she was a "high maintenance" kind of gal. My son wisely told her that he could never give her the kind of life that she wanted, that she could have with this wealthy guy.

So, she married the wealthy guy, and what happened? Every time she had a problem, who would she call? My son. Her husband was too busy with his business and his girlfriends to give her any emotional support.

So she now rides around in a Mercedes, an has a gorgeous house. She is also miserable, lonely, and has become an alcoholic.

aah now I've heard the strories... and my parents got married because they loved each other and they are still togther all though why I can not even tell you sometimes, i think they are so afriad of being alone (30 odd years of marraige) that they would rather say together despite there complete lack of love for each other now, that's life no guarantees- ever.

So you make your choices, take your chances and cut your loses if you have too. Maybe it's nice to start out with some other chocies besides love it seems so fleeting to me and besides no one said that liking some one wasn't so bad either, as long as i get on with him that's cool , rather that then hating eachother or being completely despondent. Me, staying at home and being lonely over man is not in my nature upset over some one briefly yes... what can i say I've been pretty pragmatic about life most of my existence and due to experience become pragmatic about relationships and so called love, yes the notions is beatuiful, but wheather or not you guaranteed that everlasting love wheathe you will ever find such thing that's debated. So maybe best to make do with what you can and take pleasure in other things friends, family, music, your dogs, the scenery, sunday's at vida e cafe listening to jazz...

oops realised what i supposed to say earlier was NOT on my list not on.

how crazy is this I mean its insane why am i considering it
Come on - at 21 have you so exhausted the possibilities that you're willing to settle for future that sounds so depressing?

World-weary at your age?

Sure, wealth and all that it can buy is great, no argument there. But there are all the intangibles like a loving relationship, knowing that there's someone always there for you, the great feeling that you belong [/U]with this particular person, that you fit[ together?

I say belong with, not to. If you marry for the luxury that great wealth can give, you are going to belong to the source of that money. You've got another 60 years to live - is that how you want to live it?

I'm just putting the options and their implications in front of you. You do have time to find someone less exotic. This is an exciting situation, right out of a good romance novel, but think carefully whether it's real life.

( not shallow at all. That would , honestly be a plus for me as well.. )

But, they could MEGA fuk you with that money if you two divorce and they decide they dont like you...



money is great. But money buys power. Legal power..

yes they could and I could get married to some one who i love and they could **** me over too.

I'm not without a college degree and ambition of my own. I don't plan on being reliant on the person. just knowing that I don't have to stress. I know a girl who married some one cos she loved him and he turned out to be trafficking drugs, it took her twelve years to figure this out cos she was "in live with him" and no matter what any one said she didn't believe till he got arrested. Another family friend married a man for love they had 3 kids he went to work in chile and told her not to come because the kids where happy herre any way last year she found out the husband had a child an another wife in chile (the child is 6 now) she had to track him down at her son's wedding to get a divorce from him (he had been avoiding her cos he's irish catholic and didn't want to divorce her but how hypocritical to marry someone else.) So no guarantees then i guess. And pure love seems to be the smallest one.

Well, those are only a few examples. Lots of us married folks married for love, we're happy and that's that. It really does happen, you know.

I've been thinking about you, taggedL.

Y'know, in a couple of years you will have a completely new perspective on life. Early 20's - I changed so much in just a few years! And I know a lot of others who have, as well. It's a crazy time.

If you wait - say, a long engagement or dating period - you may find yourself coming from a totally different spot.

Marriage is a big deal. A bad one could make big trouble for what you want to do in life. You have ambitions and talents you are developing. Your life is just beginning. Give this some serious thought - it really could do no harm, only good.

yup yup.

this household too.
i loves my mister wolf. Bery bery much. :-)

plus, what do they say?


WHEN IN DOUBT, DON'T!!!

sounds to me like your reasons for doubt are more than valid. go with your instincts.

okay I just feel that I'll regret not doing it even more.

Re: how crazy is this I mean its insane why am i considerin


anything/anyone can look good for 4 days and some internet time <shrug>

Has either of you ever lived away from home, working, supporting yourselves, taking care of your own home?

nao faz mal...
Obrigado por tudo

ehbeth there you got me, i just graduated (went stratight from school to varsity) he's still studying but he lived in new zealand as an exchange student for a year and a couple of months in new york me i've spent maybe 3 months away in cape town and then holidays.

TL, doesn't it seem like you both need to get out there and experience life on your own first?

I know I was crazy to get out on my own - and the thought of being with a guy who hasn't been out on his own <grimace> - can't even imagine ever contemplating it.

i would wait a few years, tagged. if you're still entertaining the idea of marrying him then, after you know him better, hopefully have tried living with him (though his or your family may disapprove of living together before marriage...?), then you know it's the right thing.

my family couldn't care about that don't think his family would care much either drag.

anyway right now i got a very important job interview coming up and i am very concerned about that because if I get this job i am set.

Good luck with the interview!