The Adventures of Notary Woman and ....

I'm master in delegating!

I can do almost anything to any animal...you know, pills, cutting nails, painful attention to wounds....with the possible exception of Roberta's Mikey.


I can make most people laugh until they become hysterical.

I can make the perfect cup of coffee for just about anybody, specially created just for you. I am also the master of pampering of the weary.

I have the ability to get shy kids to make that jump off a pool edge! To break out in dance in the grocery store! Truly one of my favorite super-abilities.

Okay, I said I'd explain all about being The Great Procrastinator, so here goes.

You see, I've always....wait, I need something to drink. I'll be right back.............

Awe-inspiring powers, all!

Today I have wielded the Mighty Stamp of Justice in a neverending quest to fill my colleague's shelf with patents.

Oh, and the guy at the gas station showed off his amazing change-making abilities -- in 7 degree weather, no less! It is a humbling power.

This morning, I polished and buffed a pair of shoes!

I'm wearin' 'em right now, and am mighty pleased with the results.

Shiny!

I calculate IP subnets. In my head.

Dayum.

RFC 1918 kicks ass....

Dear Little Iffikins fretted and fussed. Mr. Noddy was bewildered, but I knew that she wanted the padding replaced on the exercise board. She has some of her nicest naps on a padded exercise board.

Pet mind-reading. This is a worthy superpower, indeed!

Today's superpower here is backing into a parking space without overshooting and hitting the plantings with my rear bumper.

Hah! I can parallel park. Usually.

Backing up can be really hard, especially when other people are watching.

Actually, I CAN parallel park, that backing up is easy because I know exactly where my rear window on the left side has to be in relation to the other car. When people watch then, they do so in awe.

Not to blow my wad here, but I also know which way to turn something to tighten or loosen it, but only because I watched the movie Fandango years ago, and paid strict attention when they said the immortal words...

"Lefty Lucy (loosey), Righty Tighty"

I can hang a picture with only a couple of tries.

JOE! JOE NATION!! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

You told me this years ago so I would remember, and here I've been giving you credit for it all this time. By now, hundreds of people must think you're responsible for these words of wisdom! And now I find out you were just quoting that movie that was made here in Tulsa!

ER....wait.

<thinking>

I wonder if Joe told them, and they used it in the film?

you know what, I don't mind it when kitties fuss, but when they start fretting, I just fall to pieces.

I....I.....just feel so helpless.

DrewDad, check out The Shipping News by Annie Proulx. Each chapter is illustrated with a knot (knots being nautical, y'know) and one of them is how to hang a picture so it stays hung straight on the wall, even through vibrations and time...

My superpower is remembering odd stuff like that...

I am the great Diagnostician, the above posts shows, not procrastination, but ADD.

I have A-ADD, acquired attention deficit diso... . Wait. I meant to mention something. What was that? Shucks.

Oh yeah, acquire has a 'c' in it before the 'q', but I never remember that. My super power is, I really have more than one, so I should say are, as in my super powers are, but aren't we supposed to just pick one, unless we have only one, I mean you or you all or ya'll, have one because I have more than one, maybe as many as, wait, let me count them.... .







what were we talking about?

Joe

> 1 superpower is a given. We are all extraordinary heroic-type folk. You definitely wield the Mighty Parentheses of Power.

HEY!

JOE!

FOCUS, willya?

Did you or did you not tell somebody on the set of "Fandango" about "Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty"? And if the answer is no, are you or are you not a plagiarist?

Oh...sorry about the A-ADD. What a bummer. That reminds me, I never did explain about being "The Great Procrastinator," did I? Well, it's quite a story. One of these days I will have to tell you. When I have the time, that is. Sorry, gotta go!