On the myth of "Friends with Benefits"

Slappy - good luck! Can't you find the other women who would do a threesome and mix and match?

stuff those issues slappy , lets go back a few posts here to whats important and let me know your secret to sex 10 times in 24hours .... me need education on dat 1 as a pack of 12 is at best a week for me ... lol .

slappy = machine

No longer in touch with those women littlek.

Secret, onthequiet? Good question. She hasn't heard one compliment about her looks. Instead I told her she's the reason why God invented doggy style and a lightswitch, she's got funny earlobes and a fat turkey neck, and she's on "crazy vitamins"(meds). And now I'm banging her. Go figure.

LMFAO slappy , if you look like your avater , you make the perfect pair .

Oh wise one.

So I spent my whole SECOND night with her last night, and into just a little while ago. She confessed she's already starting to get feelings for me. Ok, third night, one this week was without sex.

I told her it's hard not to feel that way, since I'm so irresistable and awesome.

But this may start getting tricky. The one thing I'm concerned with, is potentially pissing off my friend, who isn't going to find out right now. I I'm doing anything wrong, since he has a girlfriend, but I think he'd think "why the fu$k didn't you tell me?"

Like you said, time will tell.

Keep us informed. A bunch of us have bets going.

You know, perhaps she's one you COULD get into a 'real' relationship with..... have you thought about that?

...sounds like it would be less messy that way anyway, for everybody.

You gotta let me know what the bet is!

I just got back from spending pretty much the whole weekend with her. Since Friday night, about three hours not together(when I posted last night). My friend called her a couple times today, but she didn't answer. Also, I'm going to Vegas with this guy in a few weeks.

We did kind of talk about if we kept seeing each other, and either way we're going to keep it on the DL until after that trip in case it does piss him off. She said she's going to tell him she's seeing someone anyway, so he doesn't expect more sex. At first she said she'd just tell him, but I want to keep it quiet until after Vegas.

Thing that threw me off a little today was she also told me how he told her a few weeks ago he wants to break up with his girlfriend(again), but it's not because of her. I'm sure it has something to do with it. I told F-Buddy if she wants to get together with him, go for it...but she said she's done with that situation.

Then there's more to it too. For one, there's another woman I sleep with she knows about, but that's long distance. Long distance girl is coming up in two weeks. "F-Buddy" said at this point she doesn't care I'm sleeping with other people, but that could change, and she can't sleep with multiple people. Also F-Buddy is planning on moving far away in the fall anyway, so guess there's not much long term potential anyway.

But I agree Dag. I hate lying and I the last thing I would want to do is let a female get in the way of a good friendship. But she gave him a shot a few months ago he didn't jump on while he was broken up with his girlfriend, and now he's back with her.

I just never know where he is with all this stuff. For one, he doesn't talk much about his relationships. When F-buddy gave him a shot before, he told me in email, but didn't make it sound like he was going to do anything about. Month or so later he's back with his gf, but didn't seem thrilled about it.

try to talk with guy-pal in Vegas without blowing your cover.

What is the difference between "friends with benefits" and being in a "real" relationship? Seems to me f you're friends, and you're sleeping together, you may as well get over yourselves and call each other what you really are, bf/gf.

The difference is a friends with benefits situation is someone you call once in a while just to have sex with. You're not committed to that person, vs. being boyfriend/girlfriend.

Littlek, so what was the bet you had going on?

You know there wasn't any betting. That'd be illegal.

So is selling crack.

But you can't tell me you're driving a Cadillac Escalade with 22 inch spinning rims from your business selling roses on Ebay.

I'm on to you. And I want crack.

Get your own figgin crack.

This SUCKS.

Since last post on this, we've spent more time together. Once during last week, Saturday night, all day and night yesterday.

I've never once had a mutual connection like this with someone this fast. Or at all. We both can't keep our hands off each other, we communicate extremely well, and it's just awesome spending time with her.

So Saturday night we're all out, including my guy friend. Nothing happened at the bar. He knew at the time she went home with me, but that's all he knew. Since she lives close by, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. He calls me the next afternoon, drunk, and asks "are you banging her." I told him no, because her and I didn't want to tell him yet, especially get into it while he was drinking.

She called him up tonight and told him we've been spending a lot of time together, we've clicked, and that she really likes me. So he drops the bomb on her that now HE has all these feelings for her, and doesn't want her to see me. Keep in mind, this pu$$y has a girlfriend he's too chicken to dump. He had a shot with this girl multiple times and never did anything with it. On top of it, she told me she realized it couldn't work now with him anyway, because they never really communicated very well.

So before I find this out, I'm on the phone telling long distance girl I just started dating someone. She's got a flight booked here this weekend. I told her to still come up, but that I just wanted to be upfront. I get off the phone then call the other girl.

So right now, she said she can't see either one of us if it means she's going to ruin her and my friendship with him. Even though she's never had a connection with someone like this before, and wants to be with me. She even said she doesn't want to move because of me.

I'm going to call him tomorrow. Because here's the thing. Whether or not we stop or continue seeing each other, someone's going to be pissed at someone. I'll be seriously pissed(and am now) at my guy friend for fu*king this up with me and this girl. But she won't stay involved with me, she said, unless he tells her he's ok with it, and means it. I know her and I haven't done anything wrong here, I think he is so in the wrong by telling us we can't see each other while he's still with his girlfriend.

Just ranting.

Yikes, slappy!

That does suck.

Good for you for being so adult about it, hope your [insert expletive here] friend comes around.

Best of luck, slappy!

FwBs do sometimes work - I've known it to be fun, particularly coming out of a relationship and wanting sex but not wanting to have to go through the whole "where's this going" thing - remain friends, sex can stop if we don't feel like it any more.

KP

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Case in Point