suffer the same abuse I hear you heaped on my impersonator, Fudgie.
That got the group pretty pissed off because they had spent quite a bit of time and energy abusing "Try." To find out that it was all for naught, was more than they could cope with. They vowed to triple the dose from this point forward.
And, to get them off to a good start, Butterfly...
Who had been drinking the local brew all afternoon tried to give a rendition of some Kiwi rugby song to the tune of ?'three blind mice'.
"No, no" said Kiwi Chick as she emptied her second bottle of champagne. "Put some feeling into it, Rugby is not about war and peace, it is far more important than that".
Shari, whose voice had been compared to a ?'Nightingale in Berkley Square' might have been expected to save the day. However, she
Only knew Classic Rock songs. So everone decided that she should sing the oldie but goodie....
So Shari got up on the table and let rip with:
Come on, come on, Come on, come on, Come on, come on, Come on
D'you wanna be in my gang , my gang, my gang, D'you wanna be in my gang, Oh Yeah!
I'm the leader, I'm the leader, I'm the leader of the gang I am
I'm the leader, I'm the leader, Well there's no one like I am
I can take you high as a kite every single night
I can make you jump out of bed standing on my head
Who'd ever believe it, Come on come on
D'you wanna be in my gang, a my gang, my gang,
D'you wanna be in my gang, a my gang, my gang, oh Yeah! Do You ? my gang,
Come On! Come on, come on, Come on, come on, Come on, come on,
D'you wanna be in my gang , my gang, my gang,
D'you wanna be in my gang, Oh Yeah!
D'you wanna be in my gang , my gang, my gang, D'you wanna be in my gang, Oh Yeah!
I'm the leader, I'm the leader, I'm the leader of the gang I am
I'm the leader, I'm the leader, I'm the man who put the bang in gang
I can take you over the hill, ooooh what a thrill
I can make you sell me your soul for rock and roll
Who'd ever believe it, Come on come on
D'you wanna be in my gang, a my gang, my gang,
D'you wanna be in my gang, a my gang, my gang, oh Yeah!
Do You ? my gang Come On!
"Well, ok," said Try, as long as there is no weird initiation ceremony, if it's more like ?'super heroes' sign me up! "What about the rest of you guys?...
"dunno" said Kiwi "if we have to dress up in any costume, someone might see me, Im too close to home"
Try all dissapointed wanted Kiwi to dress up with him
"oh for gods sake, give me a mask then" she said to Try
"umm Kiwi whats that already on your face?" enquired Mark
Kiwi spun around and accidently slopped her champagne all over the lovely Ms Butterfly
"oh just great!" said....
"Now look what you have done you daft <>*%^$)(!n " Do you know, said Try, that is the first time I have ever heard Butterfly swear. " What do you expect, she has spent all her life working down at the docks" Said a drunken voice. "Well don't just stand there like dummies, aint someone gonna help me outta these wet clothes?" Before Try could move, Mark pushed passed, "Please allow me Dear Lady". (Danger - Danger)
Then, the one thing that no one in the room expected, happened
Mark mistook Try who by the way was beautifully attired in his 'coat of many colours' for Ms Butterfly and started stripping him from his clothes.
Panic stricken he tried to escape the clutches of Mark who by now was so caught up in what he was doing that he.....
Failed to notice Shari, as she informed him to cease and desist, with the aid of a handy baseball bat. "Sorry honey, did you nearly swallow your teeth?" As Mark fell poleaxed into the arms of Kiwi Chick. "Hm! You may have a use after all". For a start, you can
be the door stopper while we get our luggage up the stairs" Kiwi said to the unconcious Mark as she dragged him over to the door.
Butterfly.....
standing still and staring wide eyed at what had just occurred, was grabbed on the arm by Kiwi who said "come on girl, let's go get unpacked so we can start doing some sightseeing!". "Don't worry," added Shari with a wink at Butterfly, "he'll be wide awake in time for dinner tonight and his jet lag will have disappeared, although he may be a bit sore and unable to chew for the next few days!"
Try, who was glad to have Mark out of action for the next several hours, decided this was the perfect time to...
Decide what to do next; The lawn needed mowing, the yard could do with a sweep and his library books were overdue. So much to do, so little time. Then a scream came echoing down the stairs from the shower room, "I have soap in my eye, will somebody hand me a towel?" Damn, thought Try, this will set my schedule back.
However, before he could grab the camera
....... The front door opend, an in walked a tall dark figure carring a black breif-case, and informed him.................
That he just won the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. What a surprise for Try! He never even bought any magazines, he never thought he would actually win. Well, in walked Ed McMann (I know it spelled wrong, the difference between you and me is that I dont give a sh*t)
and said in his big weird voice....
How could I have been piped at that last post, and now have to start again!
He decided to throw caution to the winds and grabbed the guy's briefcase...
and ran like a blurred speed of light out the front door...
Straight into a vice like grip of Kiwi Chick, "Not so fast buster, I'm sure you would like to share your windfall with all your friends". Fighting for breath, Try gasped, "Why yes. I was just going to the bank to cash the cheque". "Good, then we can go down to the Mall and buy a few ?'designer labels', which out of necessity, would include
Five days later I awoke and found myself in the local bush hospital. "What happened" A lovely nurse who I vaguely recognized from an early afternoon sitcom said, " Good to see you awake, it was touch and go for a while". Mark who was just coming to said, "never mind the ?'go' what was he ?'touch' all about?".
" You were all drugged, been out for days." I read that Sherlock Holmes used to solve mysteries by eliminating all possibilities and whatever is left is
"Never mind all that" said Try, let's just check to see who is missing. OMG, who can it be
"never mind, that's not really important," he said. "What I really want to know is why you're wearing a bra on the outside of your clothes, and where are your panties?" He stroked his...
moustache and raised one eyebrow, pulled out a cigar and burst into a madmans laughter, quite eerie thought......
