Never ending story

"OMG!" Said Try, she is wearing a mask and wig. "Who is it?" Said Kiwi Chick. "How the hell would I know" said Shari, do I look like a clairvoyant? "Well, is somebody gonna get it off? "Put your pants back on Dutchy, I was referring to the mask" said Butterfly, in a lofty tone. "Stand aside" said Try as he peeled off the skin tight mask, revealing the identity of…

Spendius, dressed in womans clothes, which consisted of a yellow tutu, false bra and pink high heeled shoes with magnetic strips on the insoles.
"Isn't he the ugliest critter you ever saw in your life" said Try.


"Do you think we should toss him in the cess pit?" enquired Mathos, hoping to get rid of the carcass in the quickest possible manner.

"We can't do that" replied Dutchy, "This is a matter for ...

"The International Space Station Life Support Team who will be able to gather real-time data to demonstrate confidence in the life support systems planned for the Space Station. The test series seeks to develop physicochemical and biological methods to recycle air and water for future spacecraft. The volunteer crew entered the three-story, 20-foot diameter chamber on Aug. 1st. The test seeks to have the crew recycle and reuse all air and water, including urine, with processes similar to those that will be used aboard the International Space Station. If we get him there in time I am sure they will be able to resuscitate him". "Oh good." Said Butterfly, I have always wanted to visit NASA. "Put him in the freezer in the Winnebago." Said Try, and let us waste no time in…

trying to get him stiff in the usual manner because it is a not entirely reliable method due to

The fact that Kiwi Chick is sitting in the freezer and won't come out because, she says it is too hot and it makes her mascara smudge." "Well, in that case we will have to…

think of an alternative method, what about some dry ice?"
everyone stared back down at Spendius, who now in the heat of the day, started to resemble Mimi from the Drew Carey show. Mathos suggested to Butterfly "well one could always mount him" as everyone started to choke he continued "yes, I say lets get the old boy stuffed, we shall fit him with skates and you lot can all take turns in pushing him around" with a sigh of relief Ms Butterfly suggested that the Dry ice.....

could be packed around Spendi to keep him cool until they got him to the taxidermist. The taxidermist enquired "What on earth is this, I have never seen anything like it, perhaps it's a new species, you know like an unknown Yeti?"

"That is what it is for sure" replied Mathos "Do you think we could sell it for a few bob when you finish stuffing it?"


"Sell Spendi?" enquired Kiwi, "Your not really going to stuff him and sell him are you Mathos?"

Well I thought we could

divvy up the profits and have enough funds to visit the local ice cream van"
"what a splendid idea" agreed all.
The group took turns in wheeling poor Spendi to the taxidermist, when a passerby stopped and.....

Said, "How quaint you must be from Merry Old England, that is the best Guy Fawkes I have ever seen". And put five bucks in his hat. "That gives me an idea" said Mathos, how about…

"Getting Spendi mass produced and selling him as a franchise for a world wide 'Burn The Guy Night' after all he looks the part, anyone would want to put a match to him, what do you think guy's?"

as we take a brief pause in the thread....

to roll around on the floor dying of laughter

now continued- thank you for your patience....



" well do think we should mass produce him first, I would hate to burn the proto-type" said Kiwi to the others, Mathos smirking looked at Try who in turn looked at Spendi, "I think Kiwi is right, we need to take him to Madame Tussaudes and get him waxed" as ......

he is really giving off a bad smell and it will get worse as time passes by.

Try suggested taking some photographs of him before he was covered in wax and passed through the screening process, the machinery was running quite well and several copies were quite easily made, they were of course identical.

" Which one is the real Spendi though?" enquired Dutchy.

"Does it matter?" asked Mathos, "They will all be going on a bonfire, and burning quite merrily by midnight, this ionk is playing havoc with my sex life, we need to get him done and dusted, bye Spendi old lad, can't say much more than that can we now?"

Just then one of the models gave out a long groan and ...

HOLY SH*T!! Whats that????

"It is I! The Neverending Story Saver" said a man in a cape, "I will not let this fantastic tale fall off the map. Who will help me save it?" "I WILL!" cried.....

Mame, "I've been MIA on these threads lately and it's the least I can do." She looked silently at the little group of stalwart A2K friends and nodded at Shari. "Okay, girl, let's go"...

…Tell them how when you turned 30, you were standing in the bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of latex gloves, holding a wet cat in mid-air!!!

"Well" Said Shari; the cat named J, no, not after the agent in Men in Black, although you might think that looking at the cat, as his fur is, for the most part, black, but still, no, he predates the movie by several years, thanks so much for asking, you're the first person to ever think of that ?- no, really, that's quite clever, I'll have to write that down; had suddenly started pissing all over the place.

Cat urine, for those who don't know, is quite pungent, and left untreated, it not only dries and crystalizes (an effect which Try later described as quite cool, okay lady, whatever, you really need to get out more), it can eat through hardwood floors and other nasty things that don't bear elucidating.

"Ok." Said Try, enough already! What's this about ?'bare dating'…

Mame and Shari just looked at each other and busted up laughing...(where does he come up with this stuff). As Mame and Shari were on there way to see the Wizard...you know to save the story...Try started singing follow the yellow brick road. There was a strange familiarity to this whole scene, yet Shari could not place it.....

Ahhhh...it was Try's singing which brought up strange memories of visiting neverland ranch. Even though he wasnt singing "Ease on down the road", MJ was still haunting Shari's mind. She picked up a brick and threw it at Try's head......

Suddenly, Whacko Jacko and his entourage burst out from behind a doric column singing, Thriller, sending Shari into raptures. She literally melted all over the linoleum, causing Try quite a bit of distress. Mame flapped her hands ineffectually trying to stop the melting but it was a case of "too little, too late"...

Ohhhh, moaned Try...

Who was visibly distressed to be interrupted whilst indexing the panty collection he had found in other peoples yards; "Why is it you always say, ?'too little, too late'? "Well", said Mame, When a chef needs a cucumber; a baby carrot…is not on the menu!

Well it was a little too late, when I saw Shari in bed with another woman and I tell ya I was crushed….. So I said, "Get off me, you two!"

It was time to head off to the local Wendy Burger where they were hosting a big A TWO K meeting. Oh look, there is……