Never ending story

Mathos shouted to Eva ( the buxom Fraulein,) fill us six steins of your best my buxom beauty, then sit on my knee for the duration of the session and we can discuss the first thing that comes up. Shari, Butterfly and Mark were objecting to the size of the steins, not wishing them to be upset, Mathos suggested to Try and Dutch that we each drink theirs as well as our own. "Fifteen minutes lads" whispered Mathos, "Then we make a dash for the ground, they kick off in 30 minutes, leave the girls to settle up, they will never find us."
Shari was by now becoming wise to Mathos's approach to the situation, she sidled up to him, gently knocking the Fraulein off his knee and into the middle of the flower garden on the far side of the double decker bus,
"Listen Mathos, you .....

Gotta pull some strings with your FIFA contacts and get us in to see a match, will you do that for us with a little encouragement?" Mathos appeared preoccupied with the buxom Fraulein now covered in flowers, whilst picking off the daisy petals, "she loves me, she loves me not". Sheesh, said Butterfly, at that rate the match will be over. How about we go…

straight to the ground and Mathos can use his skills to get us all in for free."

"No problem" Mathos pulled six security shirts out of his wallet and they all put one on. Mathos security inc emblazoned on the back and front.

"Do you honestly think we will get in wearing these" enquired Dutch,
"No problem" Mathos was full of confidence.

They approached the main entrance and the door opened, "Ah welcome Mr Mathos" the FIFA chairman was obviously expecting him, "are these your heads of security?" he enquired.

"Can we go in?" enquired Shari "It seems too

good to be true"
"i'll say its too good to be true!" said a drunk Kiwi dressed in her All Black supporters gear.
"Try... you told me it was the All Blacks vs Lions match!"
still not aware of where she actually was, she looked pleasantly suprised through her blurred vision to see Mathos......"hey Guys, where on earth did you pick this stud up from and why are you all dressed like prison guards????"
Ms Butterfly tried to...

explain to Kiwi what had been happening, the flight, the parachutes, the buxom blond, the fancy security T shirts. Wow said Kiwi, you have been busy.

Mathos was looking at Kiwi, she looked more sensationally sexier than ever in her 'All black kit, complete with high heels'

"I think you'd better sober up during the game Kiwi and come back to the hotel with me, I need to put my Lions kit on and we can play or own game of rugger."

"Are you going to have a scrum with me?" asked kiwi, quite demurely now.

"Scrum" replied Mathos, " Listen baby, I'm going to take you back to the hotel, change into my England Lions kit, and we are going to ....

get the rest of the guys and play sevens...errr 3 a side in our case"

"ok then, you are on big guy, we just have to find a ball I wonder if Butterfly has something in that big bag of hers" Kiwi replied

Mathos cheekily grinned and answered "well I do have an alternative to which we can ....

spend the next seven days in a secret location, far away from the mad, maddening crowd, wanna join me kid, he enquired.

"I thought you were never going to ask Mathos," replied Kiwi, "Let's get out of here and go to

Start queuing at the Quick Save store, they have a sale on plastic buckets, you can't turn down an offer like that can you?...

Shouted Try to hold the others attention whilst Mathos swept Kiwi off her feet and ran through the park with her at break neck speed. He reached the river and immediately hired a speed boat; Carrying Kiwi to the rear he told her "hold on tight baby, we are going to break the sound barrier"

He gunned the throttle to maximum and the wheel slid through his fingers like silk runs along a womans thigh.

"Were on earth are we going Mathos?" asked Kiwi.

"To Paradise baby" Mathos smiled back at her, "and when we get there, I'm going to .....

walked across the cobbled yard to the barn. Mathos entered his pass code into the lock, set his right hand on the pad for a print check, and looked into the gold viewer for eye recognition.
"Gee Mathos, what's in here?" whispered Kiwi.

"This my kiwi beauty is the paradise room, I can assure you, (Hand on his heart) that Mathos has never before felt smitten enough to take any other person into the paradise room."

"Wow" smiled Kiwi,

Mathos swept her off her feet into his muscular arms, with the tatoos of HMS Belfast and HMS Bullshit on the biceps and they disappeared into paradise.

Try and Dutch in the meanwhile had

Try, you are amazingly funny

He's good, isn't he?

:wink:

Well done Try, classics..

Aw shucks you Guys group hug...

"Wait a cotton picking minute, where are Butterfly and Shari, has anyone seen them?" said Try, who had noticed the hug was a bit thin. "Oh, don't worry," said Mathos, they…

are both awaiting me in The Waldorf Hotel where we have The Presidential Suite, they wanted to take a bath, change into fresh attire and await my return." :wink:

"Well is it alright if Dutchy and myself pop around to the Waldorf Hotel and have a bath in The Presidential Suite?" enquired Try.

"Not really" answered Mathos, "I was concerned for their safety and arranged for Mac The Knife to hang around outside the main door, he might suspect you of wrongful intent and that could mean your bicycle tyres would be punctured, you know what he's like, especially if he's been drinking."

"Enough of this" shouted Dutchy, "I'm going to....

rediscover my feminine side and try to figure out how Mathos manages to keep the ladies wrapped around his little finger" and with that he slipped off the roof taking Try with him.
Meanwhile inside the bored Kiwi and the excited Mathos upon hearing all the commotion outside looked at each other in horror, Mathos urges Kiwi to go and have a look "why do I have to go?? you're bigger than me and besides you are the one holding the rod!".
Mathos looked down at his rod and said "here you take it"
Kiwi snapped back "I don't want it"
"fine" Mathos whispered "we will both go" with that they slowly crept toward the door and.......

Were met by a leading representative of Woman's lib. "Do you know, Women's share of the educational pie is decreasing. In 1965 women earned one out of three B.A.s and M.A.s and one in ten Ph.D.s. In 1930 the figures were two out of five and one in seven respectively.

These statistics illustrate but don't explain the fact that with 51 percent of the population women are the country's largest "minority group." The explanation does not lie in "nature," that scapegoat which has been used for eons to justify the subjugation of all minority groups.

Rather the answer lies among the hazy myths about women and the traditional beliefs on proper sex-roles, those invisible bonds that are greater then chains because they are not understood to exist.

Sex roles differ with each culture but all cultures carefully shape children from birth to fit accepted concepts of masculine and feminine behavior and to believe that these concepts have some eternal validity. In our society these roles are reflected in our movies, our fictions, our advertising and our opinions; they stereotype women and…"

Oh Mathos, what have you done? Said Kiwi Chick. "She was getting on my nerves so I…

clocked her with my rod"
"Um Mathos I think shes dead" KC replied
with that the door threw open and in walked the bruised Dutchy and Try
they all gethered around and looked down at the form of the dead woman
"whats that?" enquired Dutchy pointing at her head....