Once you put that little number on you will be irresistible. Unfortunately, in his excitement Try didn't hear (to guy's). I'm sorry I ate your Easter egg Kiwi Chick, but it was melting in this heat. "Damn, I mean, that's ok. You will get yours buster" Undaunted he struggled to fit into the petit little costume. "Don't you think it's a bit revealing?" he asked. Well
"Not at all!" cried Francisco, who in spite of himself was eager to see Try in the tiny outfit. "Go ahead, put it on."
"I'm not gonna lie, that's pretty gay," remarked Markr, and in response Francisco only offered a shrug.
But before Try could finish putting on the miniscule garter belt, he was interrupted by..
Fudgie who insisted that Try should hold her nuts for her since Try had no pockets Francisco aka Frisco aka cisco volunteered to make sure they were held in a safe place. Try finaly finished dressing and to the disbelief of the others he had done his own make up which resembled Mimi from the Drew Carey Show "ooooh dont you look just beautiful" exclaimed Markr to the blushing Try " right who's next?" continued Mark, then....
"Okay, right, STOP IT THIS INSTANT," declared the Silly Police commissioner, stepping out from behind a tree. "This has just gotten far too silly. We'll have none of it. All this talk of holding each other's nuts? and men dressing up as Mimi from the Drew Carey Show? and all this confusion about Francisco and Frisco! We must put a stop to this."
During his rant, the Silly Police commissioner failed to notice Kiwichick, who was sneaking up on him with a...
large rubber mallet borrowed from the beautiful yet strangely odd looking Try, proceded to twack the silly police commissioner on the head but missed and clobbered......
Try's nuts. Try was not completely displeased as he figured he could now earn a spot in the local women's choir. He had been trying to get in for some time now - figured it was his best chance to meet women and get laid.
When they finally arrived in Transexual Transylvania, Meatloaf took quite a liking to Try (with the Mimi makeup and high voice). He pulled Try onto his motorcycle, popped a wheely, and took Try to...
He pulled Try onto his motorcycle, popped a wheely, and took Try to...
(MEAT LOAF lyrics - "Bat Out Of Hell")
...The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling,
way down in the valley tonight.
There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye,
and a blade shining oh so bright.
There's evil in the air and there's thunder in sky,
and A killer's on the bloodshot streets.
Oh and down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising,
Oh I swear I saw a young boy down in the gutter,
He was starting to foam in the heat.
Oh baby you're the only thing in this whole world,
that's pure and good and right.
And wherever you are and wherever you go,
there's always gonna be some light.
But I gotta get out,
I gotta break it out now,
Before the final crack of dawn.
So we gotta make the most of our one night together.
When it's over you know,
We'll both be so alone.
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone gone gone.
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
But when the day is done and the sun goes down,
and the moonlights shining through,
Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven,
I'll come crawling on back to you.
I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram,
on a silver black phantom bike.
When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry,
and we're all about to see the light.
Nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole.
Everything is stunted and lost.
And nothing really rocks
And nothing really rolls
And nothing's ever worth the cost.
And I know that I'm damned if I never get out,
And maybe I'm damned if I do,
But with every other beat I've got left in my heart,
You know I'd rather be damned with you.
If I gotta be damned you know I wanns be damned,
dancing through the night with you.
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned.
Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned.
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned,
Dancing through the night
Dancing through the night
Dancing through the night with you.
Oh baby you're the only thing in this whole world,
that's pure and good and right.
And wherever you are and wherever you go,
there's always gonna be some light.
But I gotta get out,
I gotta break it out now,
Before the final crack of dawn.
So we gotta make the most of our one night together.
When it's over you know,
We'll both be so alone.
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone gone gone.
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
But when the day is done and the sun goes down,
and the moonlights shining through,
Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven,
I'll come crawling on back to you.
I can see myself tearing up the road,
Faster than any other boy has ever gone.
And my skin is raw but my soul is ripe.
No-one's gonna stop me now,
I gotta make my escape.
But I can't stop thinking of you,
and I never see the sudden curve until it's way too late.
I never see the sudden curve 'till it's way too late.
Then I'm dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun.
Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike.
And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell.
And the last thing I see is my heart,
Still beating,
Breaking out of my body,
And flying away,
Like a bat out of hell.
Then I'm dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun.
Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike.
And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell.
And the last thing I see is my heart.
Still beating, still beating,
Breaking out of my body and flying away,
Like a bat out of hell.
Like a bat out of hell.
Like a bat out of hell.
Oh like a bat out of hell!
Oh like a bat out of hell!
Like a bat out of hell!
For Try it was a blessed belief to be sitting down, as his high heels were killing his feet. Now, why exactly did we come to this ghostly place, and is the castle haunted? Oh, I can tell you that said
Mark. "You see, centuries ago, it was my ancestors that ruled this castle here in Transexual Transylvania. Unfortunately, my great-great-grandfather the Count was responsible for the murder of Duke Belinovistraskindorffersteinakapovendrallski, and his ghost still haunts this castle to this day."
"Oh," was KiwiChick's response. "Well, that clears it up a bit. I guess. So do we stay here for the night or what?"
"Sure!" offered Try, "anyplace where I can sit for extended periods of time sounds good right now, haunted or not."
That night, however, the group was confronted by the ghost of Duke Belinovistraskindorffersteinakapovendrallski, who said ...
"What up my peeps? Yall be welcome at my crib fo sho!!" Shari asked the Duke if he would like to stay and "get crunk". He said he could get down wit dat. Mark was unsure of this strange language and figured that it must be...
The way they talk in New Zealand. Kiwi Chick suggested she translate. Oh, what he means is
"Kia Ora bro's you pakeha fellas bring your Kai to our Whare cher bro!".....
"Well there you have it" said Francisco, they do have a steam room. Last one in has to bring the towels. Mark, was the first to notice that this could be a little tricky for Kiwi Chick with her latex suit. Oh! Don't worry said an ever helpful Try, I have this idea
well just poke holes through it".
"Ah now just hang on one damn minute" Kiwi laughed,
"I can easily slip it off you know Im not exactly naked under here" she continued and with that off came the latex revealing......
A full body Maori tattoo.
This was enough to rekindle Try's interest in native art, and raised points for further contemplation. Until that is, Fudgie heaved herself onto the bench and blocked the view. Well Mark, aint you gonna get your kit off? She said. Mark took a deep breath and
asked everyone to turn around and face the other way while he de-robed himself.
30mins later Shari snapped "for gaaaawds sake man have you finished yet?"
"not yet" Mark replied, a deep moan came from the others except for Try who was still deeply engrossed in Kiwi's tattoo wondered how he himself could get a .....
Copy, like a brass rubbing or something similar, not a needlely thing, too painful. The problem was; where to get some waterproof paper. "I know, what I need is a diversion, and perhaps some baby oil to bring out the colors. So he
quickly asked Francisco if he could borrow his lubricant then wasted no time in finding some paper, as chance would have it, all Try could find was newsprint which he placed onto...
The floor and cut out a dress pattern, whilst singing under his breath;
"There was a young Kiwi Chick one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all."
By this time Shari had, had enough of waiting about and said
"bugger it, Im going in" so the others followed leaving the gibbering Try to his dress making....
and they soon came across a place within the castle in which the path divided and went through three adjacent doors. The Duke appeared as if from nowhere and said to them,
"Yo homies, fo shizzle. Look, aite, these three doors, man, they all cursed and sheet. Y'all know that if ya go through one a da doors, ya ain't gon' be comin' back, y'see? So ya damn well better choose wisely. Peace, bitches."
Try had rejoined the group by the time the Duke had finished. Once he had had his say, the ghost exploded. Francisco was absolutely covered in recently-exploded ghost glop.
"How do we pick which door?" wondered Fudgie.
"I've got it!" exclaimed Shari. "We'll pick which door based on..
