Never ending story

had a picnic. Kiwi decided that, despite the seemingly ludicrous prospects of surviving a plane crash into a hillside and burning up an a massive fireball by enjoying some peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches with tea, it was worth a shot. As it happened, Try knew that they would make it out alive, since he had seen, only 647 days before, a Discovery channel documentary on how picnicking during plane crashes is the #1 preventative measure against injury. The plane spun wildly, and its impact as it crashed shook the earth. The resulting fireball was enormous, but nevertheless to Francisco's amazement, the group crawled out unscathed, even though Try's PB&J sandwich was a little 'toasty.'

Suddenly, at that moment, instantaneously, and all at once..!

They had a group hug, and it was high 5's all round whilst Try collected all the A2K quality branded goods, which he had obtained on approval and not yet paid for. Suddenly, from the depths of the jungle came a blood curdling sound.
Shari said, "if that's not Francisco giving birth, it only be a) King Kong b) Tarzan". I hope it's Jane said Mark hopefully. As it turned out it was…

Frisco...as he emerged from the jungle holding a roll of toilet paper, moaning how some tart had given him a gut ache.....Kiwi winked, looking at the braless Shari...as she recalled Frisco earlier scoffing down the last of the apple and raspberry tart's for breakfast. "Has anyone seen...

A way outta here asked Kiwi Chick! Do we go down to the lake, or up to that cave? Well, I think…

as it is getting dark we might as well head up to the cave".
Try led the way, while the others followed. Frisco seemed uneasy as.....

Francisco's name was easily mistaken for his own. Either that, or his unease was caused by the growling of Bigfoot, who happened to be napping in that cave when the travelers wandered in, and now he was awake and angry. Enraged, he went to bite off the head of

Try's 'Tickle me Elmo' that he had held out hoping to calm the Bigfoot down. But instead it had agitated him more so the others turned and sprinted off leaving the shaking Try and his 'Tickle me Elmo' to ......

Try's chocolate easter bunny. Well, that's the last mistake that bigfoot ever made. Coming between Try and his chocolate easter bunny is worse than coming between a mother bear and her cub. The only thing that could have been worse is if it was a peep instead of a chocolate bunny. After slaying the bigfoot with ease, Try commenced to eat...

his chocolate bunny and made himself a fire in the cave using Big Foot as a huge furry bean bag while the oblivious others were freezing outside in the rain.....

which quickly turned into snow, and thereafter a blizzard, and then back to just rain, and then a hurricane, and finally a tornado. The group probably would have been strewn all about the tri-state area were it not for...

Shari's bra which she tied around everyone and then to a iron pipe poking out from the ground inside a little shed, all the while watching cows whiz by in the wind and.....

"I think that, like Solomon the Wise before us, we ought to divide the map equally among us." In a flash he had drawn an enormous sword, seemingly out of nowhere, and prepared to cut the map. "No!" cried everyone at once, "if you do that, the treasure will be lost." So, still not trusting Francisco, (because you never fully trust the spic, if you know what's good for you), the group went to a professional translator.

"It's in Ontario," the translator announced. ("No way!" cried Try, "NOTHING's in Ontario!") "But," he continued, "in order to get to the exact spot, you need..."

The help of two virgins to read the magic tarot signs. Shari and Kiwi Chick moved closer to the map. Well, that's us done for said Francisco. Why? Said Try. Where are we gonna find two virgins way out here sobbed Francisco. Mark who had remained surprisingly quiet up to now said, I have it! Use Fudgie and Try.

Wait a cotton picking minute said Try, I will have you know…

"that if you're looking for a virgin, you may as well use me."
"Agreed!" agreed Markr, and Fudgie didn't say anything. Try looked deep into the magic tarot signs and found, to his disbelief, that he was unable to read them.
"It's gibberish!" he exclaimed. "Does this mean I'm not a virgin?"
"You're reading it upside-down, dummy," said Fudgie, who described what she was looking at, from the proper angle: an inscription giving directions to

A sunken Spanish Ship just off the coral atoll, well within diving range. "Ok, let's go" said Kiwi Chick we aren't getting rich standing here. "I'm not going" said Try, not if you all think I'm a virgin. Well, said Shari that's verging on the ridiculous, play your cards right and we will see what we can do to remedy the situation, as she winked at Kiwi Chick.

Try seemed pleased at the sudden turn of events, although he didn't know where he was going to find a pack of cards in the middle of the jungle. Nevertheless, they all set of for the coast and all went well until…

Try got side tracked by teasing a Giant Clam with his flipper, and when the Giant Clam closed it's shell Try got his foot stuck.
"oh great' said Mark
"now what?" said Kiwi
"Just leave him there!" said Cisco at the same time amazed that Kiwi had'nt called him Frisco
"Heeeeeelp me" Try said, well at least it kind of sounded like that in a bubbled under water type sound when....

The clam started kissing up Trys leg. "I think she likes you" Kiwi spoke in her best underwater voice. Shari almost drowned from laughing so hard. Just then, Try had an idea, he started kissing the clam back!! Then he whispered sweet nothings to the giant love muscle....the clam, that is. Suddenly, the clam started moving. It made its way to the surface and gulped in some air. Then allowed the fabulouse group to hitch an underwater ride inside its shimmering walls. Try was a hero but...

The Clam died and went to Hell. Try missed Sam the Clam so much, he asked God if he could go to Hell to visit Sam. God agreed, but he told Try not to forget to take his harp.

Try agreed and down to Hell he went. When he found Sam the Clam, he had his own Disco in hell. Try had such a great time with Sam the Clam, that he lost all track of time. Until he heard the voice of God saying "Try you must come back to the group, they have no one to make fun of."

Try ran as fast as he could back to the Island. When Shari saw him she said, "Where is your Harp?"

Try replied, "I left my Harp in Sam Clam's Disco."

With that Shari…

said "well there goes our golden goose"
However the group was glad to see Try back all safe and sound even if he had'nt returned with the harp. All of a sudden the group noticed he smelt all clammy like a....