flailed vigorously trying to stay afloat. In his panic, he cut himself on the broken glass. The scent of blood attracted a school of hammerhead sharks. Poor Try, he didn't stand a chance. Lucky for Try, Mark has a soft spot for him because of all of the puzzles he's provided in the Riddle forum back home. Mark heroically rescued Try, but not before his right leg was severed at the knee by the mother of all hammerhead sharks. Shari and KiwiChic grabbed spear guns and proceeded to kill every hammerhead in sight.
When the excitement ended, Shari sewed up Try's leg and KiwiChic attached a wooden peg leg. All Try needed now was a parrot on his shoulder. Forever in Mark's debt, Try commenced to...
wonder what the sharp pain was in the back of his head as he awoke face down in the sand to Kiwi and Shari belting him with their flippers "jeeez good one Try for sinking our boat!!!"
Try immediately sat up and looked down at his leg
"oh thank god it was only a dream" he uttered...
"Although I quite like the idea of a peg leg and a parrot" With that he stood and wiped the sand from his golden body. His muscles rippled and glistened with tiny diamonds of sweat. "Oh...my...God" Kiwi wimpered with weekening knees. Try then swept Kiwi up with one arm and flung her over his shoulder, her long locks billowing in the crisp ocean breeze. "We need to seek shelter," Mark said, "This is no time for romance!" Try reached over and with one swift motion Mark found himself face down in the sand. When he finally came to Shari, Kiwi and Mame were standing over him as Try was about to give mouth to mouth. Marks eyes fluttered open and he uttered "Oh thank God it was only a dream"
Try looking more puzzled than usual said, "Wait! Wait, tell me the bit about the flipper spanking was true. Oh, and the rippling muscles and the making out with Kiwi Chick. That was all true wasn't it?" It was Shari's extensive medical training that saved the day, when she whacked Try in the kisser with a handy two by four. "Wake up, you bumbling idiot, you are still dreaming". While Try looked for his teeth, the rest of the group set off for
a quick exploration of the island.
Try yelled out that he would catch up later, not that anyone could understand what he was saying through his lack of teeth. Kiwi felt sorry for Try and decided she would carve him a fine pair of wooden dentures once she reached the island "that should please him" she thought....
And she thought right, a fine set they were. Unfortunately, they were made from an Australian koolabar tree, and he started uttering gibberish as he sang; as he watched, and he waited 'til his billy boiled, "You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me." This rendition drew the attention of
the island wild life in particular wild boar while Try's tune was not very favourable to the ears of Mark, Kiwi, Shari and Mame, however to the boar it was the mating call of love. Thrashing through the tree's came 2 male boar heading straight for Try "run Try run" yelled the others. Try quickly rose to his feet and sped down the beach toward the dinghy with his lips stretched across his over sized dentures and sporting giant sunglasses, he had a certain look about him kind of similar to...
a group of Japanese tourist's mistook him for Willy Wonker and started taking copious amounts of photographs thus scaring the wild boar back into the undergrowth.
To everyones relief...
Except Shari, who was still dreaming of The Chocolate Factory and Wonkers
and being slathered in milky white chocolate by the handsome but not so bright....
curator who appeared and said "we're closed now,it's half past five and the pubs are open so f**k off".The tourists slunk away slowly, exhibiting a degree of disgruntlement,and began ringing the phone numbers which were pinned up in the telephone kiosk one of which was offering..
Cheep holidays at the local nudist colony. Before anyone could stop him Mark was on the phone. "Hello, I would like to know"
do you offer group discounts?" *pause* "oh you do, great we would like to book in under the name of Try"...
. However, the accommodation was first class, with wooden straw thatched huts on stilts set in the crystal blue sea. The problem came because they were twin bedded, so who was going with who? Kiwi Chick quickly came up with the perfect solution, which was
to draw straws, after all she didnt care where she slept just as long as she got to sleep, and besides it's a nudist colony anyway so no suprises with....
Who was going to draw the short straw and have to bunk with Mark. Although Shari, was far from sleepy and had a cunning plan which was
share the fact that KC had found a time machine hidden in the closet of the aerobics room of the nudist colony. Unfortunately, a heated argument ensued over what time to visit.
Try, having never known who his father was (his mother claimed not to know which trick it was), insisted on going back to nine months before his birth. The rest of the crowd wasn't so keen on placing themselves in the midst of the first world war - too risky.
Shari continued to dream of the Oompa Loompas; so she didn't express a preference.
Mark arm wrestled KC for the right to choose. After an hour long struggle, Mark finally prevailed - barely. Those Kiwi women are tough broads. Mark's fascination with mathematics led him to choose Gottingen Uinversity in Germany in the very early 1800's so they could meet Karl Friedrich Gauss who possessed one of the greatest mathematical minds of all time.
The group members crammed themselves into the smallish contraption, turned the dial to 1810, and pushed the button. In a few seconds they sensed that the journey had ended. They spilled out of the time machine into the early 19th century and...
Instantly regretted leaving a tropical paradise for the dirty, smelly, noisy, cobbled, cold streets of a war weary Europe. To make matters worse when they met the great man he tested them by asking them add up the integers from 1 to 100 in their heads. Mark thought it impossible, Try asked "what is an integer?" So you can imagine The astonishment when seconds later both Shari and Kiwi Chick simultaneously, in a flash of mathematical insight, had realized that pair wise addition of terms from opposite ends of the list yielded identical intermediate sums: 1 + 100 = 101, 2 + 99 = 101, 3 + 98 = 101, and so on, for a total sum of 50 × 101 = 5050. This was a lesson Karl would long remember.
However, Gauss had been asked in the late 1810s to carry out a geodetic survey of the state of Hanover to link up with the existing Danish grid. Gauss was pleased to accept and took personal charge of the survey, making measurements during the day and reducing them at night, using his extraordinary mental capacity for calculations. He regularly wrote to Schumacher, Olbers and Bessel, reporting on his progress and discussing problems. As part of the survey, Gauss invented the heliotrope which worked by reflecting the Sun's rays using a set of mirrors and a small telescope.
Kiwi Chick somewhat bored by this basic math talk when there was an empty aerobics room back at the resort cleverly suggested that Mark stay behind and they would return to collect him later. Although Try looked a little younger than the birth date suggested by Mark, he looked sad at the memory of his impoverished upbringing. Shari then suggested
.
That we all attend Woodstock!! Although it wasnt so far back to be considered "Historical" they would have a blast and meet all the bands and eat hash balls for breakfast lunch and dinner while bathing in mud!! Everyone agreed that woodstock would be quite the adventure so they...
