Never ending story

( Is that it? Have I waited nine friggin hours for the words of Shakespeare, Milton, Plato or even Poe? To end up with Tom! Scheesh, we had been led to expect Brad Pit at the very least.)


while she...

and Mark had been discussing the various merits of Pythagorean Theorem, the fun lovers had headed for the beach and an opportunity to dive on the Great Barrier Reef which as Butterfly informed us;

The Great Barrier Reef is widely acclaimed as one of the world's great natural treasurers. The Great Barrier Reef World Heritage Area is the world's largest and is one of only a few World Heritage Areas that satisfy all four natural World Heritage Criteria. With its inscription as a World Heritage site, the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority (GBRMPA) assumed responsibility for managing the Great Barrier Reef for the global community. The Great Barrier Reef is widely recognised as one of the World's great natural wonders.

Wait for us said Shari, because…

If you dont I will tell the world that you let Try wear your A2K panties!! Mark and Shari were having such an "in depth" discussion that Mark forgot about his.....

Wife and six kids who were waiting to go on vacation in Yellowstone. Shari, fearing she may never again have the chance to discuss Fermat's Last Theorem, or even explore Noether's theorem, gave him…

a running commentary of her thesis on the whatsamacallit...meanwhile the sun lovers club led around by Kiwi (who just so happened to have dived on the reef before)and who was also joined by a rather excited Try....

Who was carrying a large hamper of exotic foods and iced champagne for the boar trip, whilst trying to keep his new ?'Speedos' from falling down, when he noticed Kiwi Chick was already wearing her avatar diving kit complete with snorkel, he politely asked…

"what do you think of my new budgie smugglers?"...

Kiwi was impressed by Try's package and put her hand gently out to grasp onto Try's goodies and smiled with a glint in her eye and thanked him for the lovely hamper......

It was at this exact point in time Try regretted his ?'budgie smugglers' could not accommodate a; King shag. An example of this magnificent species was collected by Forster in Queen Charlotte Sound during Cook's second voyage. Forster's description of Pelecanus carunculatus was not published until 1844 but Latham described his "Carunculated shag" from Forster's specimen and painting. It was not until 1875 when H.H. Travers collected the species again in Queen Charlotte Sound that its proper status in the New Zealand avifauna was established. This shag is a sedentary species, never going far from its breeding place.

Do we have to leave he sobbed? The answer was not long in coming…

"get in that flippin boat will you!" an angry Mame yelled.....Try dripping water all over the place with his over sized budgie smugglers starting to resemble womens.....

Handbags, full to bursting point, but where else could he keep his junior ?'I spy' membership card. Where the heck is Shari? It's time to go. Oh, said Kiwi Chick, "I think she is getting Mark down" What do you mean…

"Mame got bored listening to the waffle between him and Shari so she slung him on a clothes hook" continued Kiwi.....

So that gives us enough time, will you help me with my zipper, this silky latex outfit is a little tight! Try recognised that twinkle, and in his bewilderment, blurted out, "some other time honey, I gotta get some zzzzz's, give me a shake when it's time to get up". And with that he…

turned and sprinted to his room, slammed the door shut and wimpered under the covers clutching his 'tickle me Elmo' until he fell into a deep sleep. Meanwhile on deck the girls were having a great time, drinking strawberry daiquries and.....

taking turns pleasuring Mark while the engines droned on. Oh, wait, this is a sailboat - there are no engines. Turns out it was Try snoring loudly while he clung to his family jewels which had experienced major shrinkage after his dip in the frigid waters. The budgie smugglers now draped loosely around their miniscule payload.

Mark and Shari meandered to the front of the vessel where Shari did her "I'm flying!" impression from Titanic. It was then that she noticed they were headed for...


(Try: Are you happy now?)

(Try: Are you happy now?)

(Mark your literary talents are only exceeded by Shari's vocal ability)


Stardom!

Although this was not the first thought that sauntered across Try's mind as he had been woken by the mocking merriment from above. He then made a vow to read his unopened 1956 copy of Charles Atlas ?'Be a super hero' in six weeks, but first there was a small matter of how to get it outta the wrapper.

Arriving on deck exhausted, he could see the party was in full swing, Kiwi Chick offered him her Kiwi fruit, "breakfast" she whispered. Try replied, "Kiwi's are juicy, but I much prefer a nice firm pear." Just then Shari, who by now had demanded she be addressed as ?'Commander' made a near fatal error by…

turning the helm toward the Island of Stardom. It was this island that all of the most annoying old stars are banished, stars like Gilbert Godfrey,...

"Gilbert Godfrey!" Exclaimed Mame. Am I the only person that this S. O. B annoys? I hate to hear his voice, and his face makes my butt, want to suck a lemon. Which to be quite candid was more information than anyone could take, except Mark who thought him very funny. Annoying? Of course. Grating? Certainly. Hilarious? Without a doubt. His mind is as quick as any comedian living today, but he is certainly an acquired taste. Much like Kiwi fruit that the Commander a.k.a. Shari compared to…

having sex on a bed of fragrant flowers while eating chocolate, wearing her favorite pair of shoes and shopping on line and singing karaoke!! Shari really liked Kiwi fruit and Kiwi chick ranked right up there as well. It was just too bad that Shari was going to have to...

Throw Mark overboard to be used as a shark decoy, while the rest of the girls made ready to dive in the warm crystal clear waters. Meanwhile, Try was cleaning the glass panel on the floor of the boat so he could get a real good view of the forthcoming flipper action. Unfortunately…

not realising the crack in the glass bottom had now become larger during Try's vigorous cleaning, the entire panel gave way.
Thus flooding the hull and sinking the entire boat, meanwhile the girls oblivious to the drama of Try and the boat, were still out snorkelling with Mark......

"Damn" said Try, as his blusher began to turn the water pink, I do hope my new ?'squirrel smugglers' will keep me afloat because I can't swim. With that he…