Welcome, Agent of Change. Sorry, I didn't get that one at all.
How about this one:
A man walks into a pet store and asks to buy a canary. The owner replies, "I'm fresh out, but I do have a parakeet." The customer insists on a canary, until the shop owner informs him that a parakeet can be made to sound like a canary if one files the beak just so. "But be careful not to file too much off, or the parakeet will drown when he goes to take a drink of water." The potential customer decides that this is ridiculous, but thanks the shop owner politely and leaves. He goes into another pet shop and asks for a canary -- no luck. "But," says the shop owner, "I do have a parakeet, and if you file the beak just so, it can be made to sound just like a canary." He goes on to explain that filing off too much beak will jeopardize the bird's life, due to the potential for drowning when he takes a drink. The fellow finally decides that there must some merit to these claims and buys the parakeet. "Besides," he thinks to himself, "parakeets are much cheaper." His next stop is a hardware store, where he wanders into the file section, holding his recently purchased bird. The owner wanders by and asks of he needs some help. The new bird owner sheepishly explains how he intends to make his parakeet sing like a canary. The hardware store owner knowingly picks up a file and hands it to him. "Here, a Nichols #2 file. But be careful not to file too much off, or the poor bird might drown." The bird owner thanks the hardware store owner and leaves for home.
A few weeks later, the bird owner wanders into the hardware store. The owner, recognizing him, asks how he made out with the parakeet. The fellow looks down and sadly reports, "Bird's dead." The hardware store owner shares his sorrow and asks, "Filed off too much beak?" To which the former bird owner replies, "Nah, he was dead when I took him out of the vise."
I do trust you Kicky (although I know you say that to all the girls). I even consider you one of the more witty members of A2K, but this is one "joke"" I just don't get.
Green Witch, did you see both parts of the joke? I mean, my mason joke (which is really not a joke at all, but just a set-up) and Gus's joke? Both of them together are the joke. You see that, right?
I guess it's more of a zinger than a traditional "joke" type of thing. Did you read the post where I explained how I heard it? Maybe this is just a joke that you have to tell someone in person to get the fun of it.
Yup, read the whole thing - no yuks here. I guess I'll just stick with the less cerebral types of humor.
There's nothing less cerebral than this joke. Except maybe...
There are two flies sitting on a piece of crap. One burps. The other one says, "Hey! Do you mind? I'm trying to EAT over here!"
How can you tell which bottle contains the PMS medicine?
It's the one with bite marks on the cap.
Tico,
Took him out of the vise!
Bite marks on the bottle!
A spinster walks past the same pet shop every day on the way to the library. One day, she sees a sign on the window that says "Pussy licking frog, special offer, £25".
"Disgusting" thinks the lady, and she walks on....
For the next three days (just to cut down on the length of the joke) she walks past the shop, sees the sign still there, and gradually warms to this idea of owning a pussy licking frog.
By the fifth day she has made up her mind to purchase this frog, and is by now, quite excitied about the whole thing. She makes sure that she has £25 in her purse, and sets off to the pet shop, hoping that it hasn't been sold.
When she gets there, she is relieved to see the sign still on the window, takes a very deep breath, and walks through the door and up to the counter.
The owner greets her with a smile and he says "Bonjour Madame (obviously in a French accent)....can I 'elp you?"
Francis will like that one.
I know a variation of the pussy licking frog joke. I'll post it later.
So Kicky walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says, "that's beautiful! Where did you get it?"
The parrot says, "Italy."
The brick joke reminds me of my son's favorite.
Four questions. I'll ask one at a time.
1. How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator?
Man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"
Man who walks sideways through airport turnstile is going to Bangkok.
Confucius say: It is good for boy to
meet girl in park, but better for boy
to park meat in girl
Confucius says baseball is wrong.
Man with four balls cannot walk
Confucius say, man who go to bed with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger.
Man who fart in church, sit in own pew.
How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator? Open the door and put him in.
How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? Open the door, take the elephant out, and put the giraffe in....
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: The fish.
Q: What's the most dangerous animal in the rain forest?
A: A duck with a flame-thrower.
