I have a better joke.
This guy is traveling in a train and he's smoking this big ol' cigar. Across the aisle from him is this old lady with a bird in a cage.
She tells the guy that the smoke is bothering her bird and that he should put out his cigar.
The guy says, "Forget it lady, this is a fifty dollar cigar."
The lady tells him, "Well this is a rare Brazilian parrot worth over five thousand dollars."
The guy says, "Ok, lady, here's the deal; I'll throw my cigar out the window if you toss your parrot out the window."
The guy is astonished when she agrees to the proposal, so he tosses his cigar out the window. Then he looks at her and says, Ok, keep your part of the deal."
She smiles and lets the bird out the window. The guy starts laughing his ass off. He tells her, "What a dumb broad you are! That was a fifty-cent cigar. Hahahahahahahha."
But he's puzzled because she begins to laugh. She says, "The joke is on you. That was no expensive parrot. It was a common homing pigeon. And it should be back any minute.
Sure enough. The bird flies in the window. And guess what was in its mouth?
A brick.
Man that's an old one. Thanks for finishing it for us, Gus.
You see. That wasn't so difficult. Tico and got the joke in a heartbeat.
You're welcome, Tico. Let's see how long it takes for the crowd to figure it out.
There's a chair.
And it has legs.
It starts walking. And walking. The chair...is walking down the street.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!
Wow, after a whole day, I thought nobody knew it, and I was going to come in here and do the end of it, and we'd all laugh and laugh...but of course, Gus comes through with part II of the joke. Thanks for stealing my thunder, Gus. Oh, and you too, Tico.
Bastards.
Was he a FREE mason? This could make a difference to the Parrot thingy, as far as I am concerned.
Okay, so this guy is writing a letter, and his pen runs out of ink. He mutters something under his breath and get another.
Vote on that one, kickycan.
I remember when my grandfather told me that mason joke when I was about fifteen around the table with my whole family. I immediately yelled "the cigar!" when he asked what I thought was in the parrot's (in my grandfather's version, it was a poodle, but what's the difference) mouth, and he shot back with, "NO, THE BRICK!" and my whole family burst out laughing.
It's best when you tell it in a large group of people who all know it except the person you're telling. Then the person tells you how stupid that joke is, and everyone else plays along. Then you move on to other conversation, and then later, when the person's forgotten all about the stupid mason joke, you tell the second part, and ZING! BAM! BOOM! Instant hilarity!
Trust me, you'll all be telling it at the next party you're at. You'll be standing around, things will be getting a little boring, and you'll be trying to think of something interesting to say, and then all of a sudden it will hit you...the mason joke!
Gus and Tico, what were the circumstances when you first heard the classic mason joke?
I think I was in third or fourth grade when I first heard it. And the mason threw the brick straight up as high as he could, and it was a poodle thrown out of a plane, and hanging on with the brick in its mouth.
I immediately set about telling all my chums the two jokes, in rapid succession with little break in between, and of course the first one fell flat.
Usually the second one did too.
Kickcan/Gus/Tico - that was very good guys, cheers for introducing that joke to me.
In return, to say thanks, I'll leave you with a neat one-liner:
A baby seal walks into a club.
You know, I heard a version once that I can't remember, but it involved a superball that somehow bounces straight up and never comes down...I guess there are probably many alternate versions.
Trust me though, under the right circumstances, this joke kills. Okay, maybe it doesn't actually kill, but it's pretty damn funny.
Agent of Change: Welcome to A2K, and I'm glad you liked the joke. Enjoy your time here.
WARNING: A2K can become addictive.
The baby seal joke is good too...mean, but good. Hehehe...
I'm still thinking about this damn joke, what kind of freaky Voodoo **** is this.
Four pages later..... and it's still not funny.
Freaky Voodoo **** of the highest order, I fear...
kickycan,
Ok, my husband is a perfectionist. He cracked up! He thought it was hilarious.
Me, sorry.
@kickycan: Thanks for the welcome. Do you find the following joke funny?
Man goes in a bar. Barman says: "Get out! This is a bar, not a fruit store!"
Sometimes it needs some lateral thinking, but you'll get there I'm sure...
Man goes on a bus. Driver says: "Get off! This is a bus, not a fruit store!"
Green Witch wrote:Four pages later..... and it's still not funny.
Oh, but it is...trust me.
