There's a white spot on my cervix

Ok.
This is from the book The art of Happiness.
The perspective of this book is from the interviewer / asking the Dalai Lama questions about life in general-

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So , how can we achieve inner contentment?
There are two methods.
One method is to obtain everything that we want and desire-all the money, houses , cars, the perfect mate; and the perfect body. The Dalai Lama already pointed out the disadvantage of this approach -greed-, if our desires and wants remain unchecked , sooner or later we will run up against something that we cant have. The second more reliable method is not to have what we want but rather appreciate what we have.

The other night, I was watching a television interview with Christopher Reeve, the actor who was thrown from a horse in 1994 and suffered a spinal cord injury that left him completely paralyzed from t he neck down, requiring a mechanical ventilator even to breathe. When questioned by the interviewer about how he dealt with the depression resulting from his disability , Reeve revealed that he had experienced a brief period of complete despair while in the intensive unit of the hospital. He went on to say however, that these feelings of despair passed relatively quickly , and he now sincerely considered himself to be a ' lucky guy.
He cited the blessings of a loving wife and children but also spoke gratefully about the rapid advancements of modern medicine ( wich he estimates will find a cure for spinal cord injury with in the next decade) , stating that if he had been injured just a few years earlier, he probally would have died from his injuries due to LACK OF advancement in modern medicine.
While describing the process of adjusting to his paralysis , Reeve said that while his feelings of despair resolved rather quickly, at first he was still troubled by intermittent pangs of jealousy that could be triggered by another's innocent passing comments. " Im just going to run upstairs and get something " .
In learning to deal with these feelings he said, I realized that the only way to go through life is to look at your assets , to see what you can still do ; in my case, fortunately I didn't have a BRAIN injury, so I still have a mind I can use." Focusing on his resources in this manner , Reeve elected to use his mind to increase awareness and educate the public about spinal cord injury , to help others, and has plans to continue speaking his MIND as well as to write and direct films.

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The Dalai Lama on human sickness & self worth after the discovery of a sickness-

Thinking of you BK!

Shewolf: great stuff! I recall reading a LOT of the Dalai Lama's writings when I was going through my truly rough spot. It helped a lot. He has a way of making things very simple, and helping to focus on what's really important.

The part you quoted about those who are ill is so great and true. Through periods when I have been depressed and ill; the focus has always been on what I can't do. What I have lost. What might happen. Then; even though I could have had the support and help of others; I became disconnected and isolated. It is so important to remember that no matter what: we are all important people who have a lot to contribute. It is easy to see this in others; and sometimes more difficult to see in ourselves.

Lots of love

Waiting with hopeful thoughts that the lint was successfully removed without a bit of pain.

(And, holding your hand in my mind)

Thinking happy, lint-removing, thoughts.

I've been offline for a few days also and would like to join the "Happy Cervix Thoughts" gang. Since I am going for my annual exam tomorrow I will definitely have my doc include the pap smear and make sure everything is all checked out.

How did your appointment go?

Ooh and can I say that I have JUST given up smoking. Today is my sixth day of not even one coffin nail past my lips. When you start the giving up smoking thread, post a link here.

THE LINT IS GONE!

Shewolf was right!

THE GYN *^&$^#** SCRAPED IT OFF WITH A TONGUE DEPRESSOR!!!!!

OK, so it probably wasn't ACTUAL LINT, but she said cancer does NOT just scrape off like that.

Dancing! Singing! Went to Pizza Hut afterwards and pigged out on hot, greasy, sticky, gooey, meaty carcinogens in a pan!!

AND even More Good News... The PAP smear was normal! Ha, I'm normal normal normal!!!!

My regular doctor's office mailed me a card which I got just before today's appointment which said the results were "normal," with a few check boxes for test types, dated 9/23/05.

They did not bother calling me four days ago to tell me, nor did they fax the results, as they promised, to the Gyn. Do I care? <singing.... dancing>

So, for the blicky details: she used a, um, forgot-the-name, a thing that looks like little binoculars with a tube & a bright light to look at one's cervix, starts with a "C," and scraped the darned thing off, I kid you not, with a handy tongue depressor.

Then she put vinegar on the previously white spot to see if it would "turn white again," which would be a bad thing. It turned a tiny bit white, she said, not a lot (wish I could have seen it myself).

To be totally safe, she said, she took a biopsy from the small remaining whiteness... which I hardly felt at all, and the results should be in MONDAY.... and you can bet if they don't call me, I'll be calling them.

So what the heck was it? Maybe a bit of scar tissue, sort of like a callous, she said, possibly from my last abortion (several years ago now, but I think the abortion was AFTER my last pelvic exam, which might explain why nobody else has seen it). Or an old mark from a diaphragm, though I haven't used one in ages, or even a contraceptive sponge (again, it's been years). But if it's a sort of callous thing, I could care less!

So the delightful news is, should this biopsy be negative, I don't even have to put my feet in the stirrups again for another whole year! YIPPEEE!!!

And even better, she only charged me $58 for the whole caboodle, knowing I have no health insurance! I was so overjoyed I actually hugged her! Since I've never even seen her before she must have thought I was a complete nut, but who cares?

She says the lab will charge me for the biopsy, but heck I can live with that.

So if someone says you have a Leukoplakia on your cervix, relax... it could just be lint!



An aside for women like me in the US, who put off having annual PAP smears because of cost ($160 in my case): Dr. Gyn said our local Health Departments will do a PAP smear for a small fraction of this cost.

So Squinney, and all other women putting it off for lack of money/insurance, there goes your last excuse! Feet in the stirrups, scoot forward as far as you can, and maybe save your life in the bargain!

Cripes I'm going to pig out on some chocolate ice cream.

Love to everyone!

Excellent news woman! I am so thrilled for you that I, myself, am going to purchase a tub of ice cream and celebrate on your behalf.

F A B U L O U S !!!!!!

YESSS!!!!!!!!!

maybe it was one of your husbands " little men' holding on for dear life. hehehe

In your case it was probably a cat hair -

Good to hear the good news. A perfect time to celebrate and quit smoking...

Beautiful!!

BorisKitten--

Wonderful news. I'm breaking out the Chocolate Marshmallow ice cream.

You're going to have a transcontinental, international Pig Out in your honor.

Hold your dominion.

Ha, Green Witch, you're probably right!

I was just asking Boris how he got those bits of fur from the little white spot on his chest into my cervix!

Oooohhh... chocolate marshmallow! What I wouldn't give for a bit of that wonderful "Magic Shell" stuff right now! Gotta love modern technology.

Shewolf, thanks so much for "The Art of Happiness" quotation... it's been years since I've read it.

Now do I have to be the one to bring up the fact that, well, I'm pretty sure, anyway, Christopher Reeve is dead?

Well, WE'RE NOT! And he was right about focusing on one's assets... it's a pity these things are so easy to forget "in the thick of things."

That book "Full Catastrophe Living" (I think I started another thread on it) uses meditation and mindfulness to keep our wits about us when ill, injured, or stressed.

It's helped me a LOT this week. But nothing helps as much as a bit of handy lint-scraping when required.

Quart of chocolate chip cookie dough ice-cream for me! Spmeone pass me a specul... I mean spoon, please.

Hey, coulda been a kitty hair. But, a callous??? Gee whiz! Tell him to go a little easier on ya!

yeah, he died a few months ago.



maybe... Mr kitten needs to do a little " digging around" in an attempt to keep your cervix clean for you .

Yabba-dabba-doo!!!!

I so glad to hear this, BK! Whew, and double whew!!!

I've been through various loops of worry chambers with varied results. Perhaps because I act like I need to know (but I know that is not always enough) I have been lucky in that whatever news has developed re my health has come to me fast, and I could act.

It may be that as de-monied as I am, I have a long history of people telling me about who to see, and I have lucked out on that.

I have good docs now who I am in sync with, and expect to lose that as I move and move along into medicareville. Not to be sorry for me, last thing I expect, but to wish where I have been for everybody not getting that care.

Which is what interests me... my medical care from the practicioners has been mostly exemplery and others have undergone the opposite -

I am not into a racism chase. Looking keenly at poor-ism, but I know that isn't uniform.


Why do I riff here, well, I am having some wine, but past that, what hits me re Boris Kitten's topic is that she has not been contacted much.
Whatever my med travels, I haven't dealt with that sense of absence.

I know there are good gynos out there (and not all are female).


Why I get to pick my md's, for the few months left that I can, is that I have this horribly expensive self employed BlueCross policy, at the highest possible deductible, thus destituting me with payments and paying fairly little and leaving me lots to pay over and above... but still, giving me a moderate amount of md choice.

This has been worth it for me, not because my particular gyno and my particular breast surgeon are well regarded nationally - but because they are straightforward people I like in real life. So, I swim in this sort of acquarium, of caring care and, because I read, know it is a lonely place.

As it is, I am scraping to make my last Blue Cross payments til I get to medicare. And then I see, there are recent medication add ons, geez louise, I thing they are trying to kill us.