Virginity

>>of course you cant really find out if a mans claim is legit.<<

I don't know. Sometimes it's painfully obvious. LOL.

U do not need to know.

virginity is an annoyance

say it to ur daughter, if u will have one.

umm...ok, didnt think that was much of a personal question but if you say so.

Absolutely.

An annoyance - well, not in a very young woman, in my opinion, but otherwise a silliness, again in my opinion.

Hearing about it as virtue is well annoying.

oss said: >>Hearing about it as virtue is well annoying.<<

I can see that. Especially since we live in an age where many young people are robbed of their 'virginity' in horrible ways. To them to cherish their virginity, and be told it is a virtue, and then have themselves violated: geez, that really f*cks up a person!

A person's value simply is not bound by their experience. That includes sexual experience.

thanks

Oh, on the flip side, I do have to say I do admire someone who has a good sense of themself, and treats their body with respect. Sometimes this manifests in a choice to wait. To those people: I say all the power to you.

Unfortunately, the whole topic of virginity can get quite confusing! LOL.
Who cares what others do as long as they leave me out of it!

I agree with that too, flushd - the bit about respect for people who choose it for themselves.

Choosing it for others now sets my hair on end.

Huge agreement. Actually, maybe you've understated it a teeny bit.

I tried virginity . . . just to be fair . . . then i tried sex . . . there's just no comparison . . .

I guess I should explain - I meant it when I said silly, and I once was keen, or thought I was keen, on retaining virginity, being a good Catholic girl of the fifties. I suppose y'all have heard Catholic girl stories; my impression is that those developed from a kind of puritan ethic in fifties US catholicism that made sinning more piquant, if possible, because of its denial of sexual pleasure. I was taught by one particular religion instructor that to give in to pleasure in the marriage act - even when married - is a sin. (hard to believe, but yes, I have a bunch of classmates that undoubtedly remember that.) I was a product of that time, wanted, for a while, to be a nun. And I shared some of the same joy of learning the human delights of sexuality that made a basis for those stories.

I was lucky in that my beginning experience with sex was joyful. And much of later experience has been too, though not all. The human connection that happens with loving or just liking the person sex, and sometimes with not liking the person sex, is rich, and the denial of this richness is what I think of as silly.

I realize much of the world's population disagrees with me.


Edited to add 'even when married'.
Then, edit to spell 'even' correctly.

Awesome Oss!

I grew up a 'good lil Catholic girl' myself: though this was in the 1980's so it was a huge difference from what you experienced.
Luckily, my parents were: how do I say this? sexually liberal!.
My father wanted me to be Catholic, but I could be the kind of Catholic he was.
That meant I could be a 'rebel' and pretend to confess my sins in confession! yeaaaa!
My dad worked very hard to make sure I didn't have to go through the 'sexual shame' he said the nuns had tried to cram onto him. It was a very interesting form of Catholism he practised. Did I ever love that man!

I understand, by putting myself in your place.
My parents never mentioned sex to me, ever. They hated dirty things on tv and in movies.
Ah, I am a product of my experience, reaction, action, reaction, and so on.

Now then, what has this to do with other people? I can understand having different views on this than I do now. My temper and desperation show up when opinions get to be rules of the lands.

I understand Oss.

My temper flares up too when 'the rule of the land' means instilling shame/guilt for being a sexual creature.

is it better to be married a virgin and be "special" or to get married non-virgin and get down with it....????

funny things i know almost no guy that will stick around for a long time ..much less marry a girl who wont go to bed with him..but also want a virgin for a wife???



for the married people here .. dosent it bug in your mind that your partner was in bed with someone else... and viceversa

Nup I couldnt care less where mine had been previously
befor we got together and vise versa :wink:

I can't really fathom how being a virgin makes someone "special". It just means they are sexually inexperienced.

I wouldn't want to be the only sexual partner someone had had. I'd think there was something wrong with them.



<of course it's different if you're somewhere under 20 - then you kinda hope the person hasn't had LOTS of sexual experience>

I don't think being a virgin makes you special in any way; or the sex act any 'more special'. There are lots of cases where the first time is bad: not just because you're inexperienced, but because of expectations.
In fact, you can wait until marriage, and then find out that your partner and you are horrible in the sack together. Then what?! You may love him, but you gotta try and 'spice up' things with someone who just doesn't do **** for you. What a waste, especially if you are young!

I'm not married, but I kinda steer clear of guys that are virgins. I don't want to deal with all that crap! What a burden! This is just me, and I know it's a little weird, but I'd be feeling all sick about it. Introduction to sex when I'm past that would feel like the balance is off. I'd feel like a mother or a teacher: and that just sucks! Let a slut do that job!

My first experience was rather underwhelming and I remember thinking: "gosh, this sex stuff is really overrated". It got better, but I still have days when I think that.