Me my life and I - HELP!

Go for it while the opportunity for change presents itself, littlek!
You can do it!

When I was 30, 32, 34, etc., I had no real sense that 50 was a door or two away. I presume you haven't health insurance, etc. Pension, etc?

As one who never worried about that, I see now that you are dancing to other's
needs for as little as they can pay your (and I can guess they can't afford more) and yet that is more time out of your life, which, trust me, is whizzing by.

Your time is precious and so are you.

kris - the title of the thread should give you a clue. this is not about s, or e, and especially not about your sister.

take care of yourself - and don't move into that house with them.


ossoB - both families can afford to pay more, and will have to pay more as soon as msK makes them face the real world without her.

ehBeth, it's about time!

Osso - I pay for my own health insurance. I have very little as retirement and put $2000 into the stock market just before it crashed in 1999/2000 instead of into an IRA. I do know that I have precious little time to get my sh-t together.

Aw, precious little, pshaw. I mean, getting sh!t together is good, I'm not knocking it, I'm all for it in fact, but you DO have time. My mother, who is fifty-something, just started saving seriously for her retirement. THAT's precious little time. (I'm not exactly pleased with her foresight, but that's another story...)

ok, Soz, but I'm definitely feeling the need to start doing something about it now so I don't up with precious little when I need it most.

True. I guess I'm saying, "precious little" in the sense that you are motivated to do whatever you can right away, sure, go for it. But "precious little" in the sense of it's hopeless, you've lost your chance, not at all. Of course you want to get started on it but quick, but you still have a more than 20 year jump on my mom, for example.

Rest assured, I don't feel it's hopeless in any sense.

Good.

<grin>

littlek<

You are your own very special creation.

No one else on this planet is exactly like littlek.

Making choices helps us to get along, sometimes better than others.

I have read this entire thread and see some excellent replies.

But have you ever stopped long enough to love that part of you that is indecisive? When you do, you begin to see life in a different manner. You stop comparing yourself to others because you accept yourself as being exactly as you are right now.

Things formerly seen as barriers are understood as opportunities. Living life in the "now moment" becomes much more important than the $2,000
you lost in the stock market. You can bring back monies lost; lost moments, however, are lost forever.

What we "do" in this life is not as important as who we are. People who are happiest in life are usually those who don't use their job descriptions as a definition of their being. They find peace in the moment because life's moments are their focuses.

Your dilemma about the correct employer will become an opportunity when you accept the fact that you are indecisive. To move on from this point, you must love that part of yourself before a resolution can occur. If the resolution turns sour, you will have had this experience from which to learn.

Lighten up. Learn to love littlek just as much as you do the children for whom you care. Remember, too, littlek is not defined by her work. She is, after all, a very special creation.

Wow, william henry, that's quite a mouthful. I have long loved my indecisive nature, that's why I'm concerned about my future now. I have long lived in the moment as well. I like that. But, I need to arrange to have some money at the time I retire so that I can go on enjoying my present. My family tends to live long past their capacity to care for themselves. It's an event I've witnessed several times in the last few years. As a woman with no dependents and no spouse, I must do something now to ensure I don't wind up in a mess when I'm 80 with no one to care for me. That nearly happened to my great-aunt, good thing she had such a caring nephew (my dad).

Those last thoughts have prompted a response, littlek, because I feel the same way.

I started working at 16 in the hotel industry ~ I'm still in it. Granted, moved up quite a bit since my beginnings, but still no guarantees for my 'retirement' ~ and at 37, I'm starting to worry about it.

As long as we're both alive, I know I'll always have my sister ~ and she knows that I'll be there for her. But, I'd be more at ease knowing I wouldn't have to burden anyone in my old age.

I have my son, too, but at fourteen, he's depending on me, not the other way around and that's a bit scary.

Sorry if this is so late, but you're not alone. Maybe we can create an A2K commune for all of us loners when the time comes..... :wink:

Rae - yep, I've had a lot of under the table jobs. Very little money into retirement. I do have a life insurance policy that my bro-in-law took out on me.....hmmmmm....makes me kinda nervous.

Hey, I just had my resume professionally done in Brookline...it was around $200, but I thought she did an incredible job. She does a good job of "painting a picture" with it.

Slappy - Maybe you had better paints to work with than I.... hey, didn't you say something about a job interview a week or two ago? How'd it go?

I guess I always think that I'm not worthy of such-n-such. Or that, at least, no one would want to hire me for a 'real job' (the concept that my work is never a real job in my eyes is telling) because I've rarely had one.

wmhenry - i like your response - it's a cousin of the first sentence in my Abuzz profile. "I am not my job."

My job is what I do to support my life choices.

It's occasionally made it easier to put up with jobs that I haven't loved - but that have allowed me to do what I love (and save for the future).

Thank you, ehBeth.

If they are doubling you duities but not your salary, that's a pay cut. It is time to move on.

First of all...don't shortchange yourself like that. Employers aren't necessarily looking for related experience, and if they're not going to look down on that. Experience obviously helps, but it's not always the main thing. They're just usually interested in what kind of person you are, and how you can help their company. If you keep a positive attittude, and focus on your strenghts, don't be surprised how far you can go...or what kind of job you can get. As far as the paint thing...it's worth the $$, because a strong resume is what gets your foot in the door at many places, and that's one area you don't want to skimp on.

Now that my motivational speech is done...I didn't get the job...it's an pretty hard field to get into w/o experience(not impossible), but I'm plugging away, and will get in somewhere eventually. I've been a little lazy the last couple weeks trying to get my foot in.