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Situationship suddenly wants a relationship.

 
 
Reply Wed 21 Jun, 2023 01:11 pm
Hey, in advance i have to say that english isn't my first language, sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes:))

There is this guy i have been seeing let's call him N. I really liked him and saw it going into sth serious. After 2 months of dating and it seeming like a relationship, i told him i want a relationship. He didn't say yes or no, just that he has to see where its going blabla because of distance and time. I was disappointed but it sounded like a fair point as we really don't live that close.

Well I waited another 1,5 months and asked again. Again he talked himself out of it, that he has to see, but that he doesn't want friends with benefits. He can talk very well and naive me agreed again. The problem with him isn't only that, also he didn't make much effort. Didn't initiate phone calls, only snaps me. Also he didn't make an effort to see me. I always went all the way to see him.

After another month or more i started dating another guy who really makes the effort and who i till now like very much. I didn't initiate anything else with N because I thought it fizzled out. But after 4 weeks of me dating the new guy. N suddenly wanted to make an effort to see me. He noticed i didn't seem as interested anymore and that he noticed he took me for granted...
I got kinda mad and told him he only has to come if he means it serious with me and that i want an answer: relationship yes or no? We face timed and he said for the distance right now and the lack of time he doesn't see it right now but maybe in the future. (He says that after almost 6 months since our first date). I told him that i don't want anymore and thought like that i ended it for good. But the next day he called me and said that he wants a relationship and that he's ready to do the work.

I am just confused because it's what i have always wanted but i don't see it working with all the drama in the past. Because it caused me a lot of stress and anxiety always waiting for him and wondering when we talk again etc.

other facts about him:
- He's 25 and never said "I love you" to anyone, not even his 2- year relationship
- He said it also took him 6 months to commit to his last gf

I actually know that I don't want to date him with all the stuff that has happened but i am just scared i'll regret it later. Do you think it's worth a try?

I would be very thankful for any advice:))
 
CalamityJane
 
  3  
Reply Wed 21 Jun, 2023 09:55 pm
@pomodoro,
pomodoro wrote:

I actually know that I don't want to date him with all the stuff that has happened but i am just scared i'll regret it later. Do you think it's worth a try?


Stick with your gut and put your efforts into your new relationship. He deserves all the attention and he's up for the task. Forget about the other guy who strung you along for 6 months and didn't make any efforts to date you. Trust me, you won't regret a thing later on! People don't change all that much, he's just toying with you and not really interested. He's not worth your time or efforts!
Good luck with the new guy!
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Thu 22 Jun, 2023 05:17 am
@pomodoro,
N is just interested because someone's taking his toy away.

Forget him.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Jun, 2023 08:21 am
What's confusing? You already have what you want. Why risk a double disappoinment?
0 Replies
 
 

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