I told my wife's sister I love her

I dunno, I mean when you said you love her do you mean love her like a sister/friend or love her in a romantic way?

Romantically

I won't judge you and I won't tell you what to do or how to feel but it might be up to you to explore your own feelings about why you feel this way or why you told her sister this? I can't say much without sufficient information. I mean how long were you and your wife married and how does she treat you?

Married 8 years and I still love her but she does get a bit nasty sometimes and she never wants sex anymore.

It looks like more honest communication is needed. I don't think you need to feel compelled to make a decision today, tomorrow or next week but the best thing I can suggest is to wait until both you and your wife are calm and to sit down with her and talk to her about the way she treats you and how it makes you feel. Being female I understand the hormonal ups and downs women go through so it's nothing to take personally if that's the case, sometimes she just occasionally needs a bit of breathing room. But if it's an ongoing thing in which you feel she is blatantly abusive and does not want to change then maybe you 2 might benefit from talking to a church pastor, counselor, older married friend etc. If you are afraid you will find yourself in a situation to where you will get tempted by the sister then I suggest that you avoid her as much as possible and never find yourself isolated with her in the same room together. Be prepared for what you will need to tell your wife if her sister ever spills the beans. But at the end of the day only you know your feelings best so just go with whatever your conscience tells you.

That was a very bad idea. Women don't get cheered up when their brother-in-law tells them 'he loves her'........ its a little creepy. I'm not judging you either but I'd have to be in a coma if my husband told me he loves my sister..and he's better hope I didn't hear it.

Well...bottom line is, only you know what you are feeling and why you said that to her, but as an outsider looking in, I honestly can't see how you can say that you truly love your wife if you are in love with someone else. Love does not cheat (which also includes desiring someone else or entertaining thoughts of cheating, not just the act itself). But, I don't see any point in staying in a situation in which you are unhappy. If you can't remain monogamous or if you can't commit to anything as serious as marriage then don't get married is what I usually tell folks. I guess it is possible to feel torn between 2 women and only you know why you feel that way, and I don't know if y'all are into polygamy and all these other factors but overall this doesn't look like a healthy situation. I simply can't see this ending well.

Clearly if you have to hide stuff from your wife then that's already a clear indication that nothing is ok bro. If there is no mutual trust here there can't be any true love or loyalty in this relationship either. Looks like you messed up, just be a man and own up to it lol. If your wife's sis mentions it just bite the bullet and tell your wife the truth, it looks like you have no other choice. Meanwhile, take a step back from the situation and ask yourself why you are in a marriage you can't seem to stay faithful to. Is it money? Security? Religious obligations? Pressure from family and friends? Any children you have with her? Fear of being alone? Take some time to self-reflect on what you really want for yourself and your life before you proceed any further.

1. I'm not here to judge you or your wife.
2. I did notice that you identified two specific items that may be an issue for you.
3. Why do you believe that your wife gets a bit nasty sometimes and never wants sex anymore?
4. Have you and your wife ever had an honest conversation about these specific issues?
5. If we were to try and get your wife side of the story, What do you think your wife answers would be if asked?

Curious how would you feel if your wife said this to.your brother? If you don't have a brother say a best friend or cousin?

Perhaps the smart thing would be to discuss what is bothering you with your wife first gathering than now causing an issue NIW also with your sister in law at best..causing a destruction of your marriage at worse.

Also curious what in God's name did you think you would accomplish by saying this?

Regardless how you feel, chances are that your sister-in-law is creeped out.
Never in her life would she betray her sister with her husband - so get this out of your head right away. Go work it out with your wife and get couple counseling. If that doesn't help, try to part amicably and yes - your sister-in-law is still off limits.

I'd suggest to smooth things over, tell your sister-in-law that it was meant in a brotherly or fatherly way and by no means romantically. The grass is not greener on the other side, plus you just unloaded a **** of manure on it. Do not touch!

You said it better than I did. This was such a stupid thing to do.

Yeah, the things people do in quarantine .....

I once heard on a radio show that a man was tricked into admitting to his wife that he cheated on her with her sister for 2 years. So while I know nothing about this man's sister-in-law or her relationship with her sister this type of thing unfortunately does happen sometimes.

That wasnt too wise.

1. I can only conclude that the reason you said what you said to your sister-in-law is because you desire your sister-in-law.

2. And you were hoping that your sister-in-law would desire you.

3. If your sister-in-law had responded by saying that she love you also, What would you have done?

4. Would that type of response had made any difference to you?

5. If your sister-in-law had said that she love you also, Would that had made you happy?

Does this have to be said again? This was a stupid thing to do, the man who said this knows it, now he is looking for confirmation of his feelings. This is still a stupid thing. Does anybody really think it's an evocative thing to do when you feel a little unhappy?

I don't think that this is the type of thing that you can just sweep under the rug. If you have feelings for your sister-in-law then it's going to create a strain in your marriage and pop up in some way or another, likely through many awkward embarrassing encounters, more problems in the bedroom and so on, whether your wife's sister shows your wife the text or not...I mean, I guess you can say, "I only meant that in a platonic/brotherly sort of way" or "I was drunk when I said it" etc., but I highly doubt either your wife or sister will buy that. If you truly love your wife, come clean with her, and if you two are still willing to work things out, seek out marriage counseling and don't do anything like this again.

This is why I don't think I will ever want to marry. Too much drama, and no one can seem to stay faithful anymore 🤣